A Different Era
by Timelord-In-Camelot
Summary: When Merlin meets Morgana in a pub, it seems that he has no chance of winning her over. Especially as she's extremely beautiful and already has a boyfriend. Alvarr. Modern AU Fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, firstly, this is my first modern fic/AU, so it wil most likely be rubbish.  
Secondly, this story is just based on a load of ideas I've had for Merlin and Morgana for the present day and mashed them all up, so I have no idea how this is going to turn out. These ideas don't have much to do at all with the legends, just the characters, so if that isn't what you want, then don't read this. **

**Anywho, I'd find **_**any**_** feedback or criticism great, because this is only my second story. Um, yeah I think that's about it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. **

"Ask her!"

"No."

"Yes!" Gwaine punches him in the arm. "C'mon Merlin, she's been sat there on her own for, like, 3 hours-"

"1 hour." Merlin corrects him, rubbing his arm.

"Fine, whatever. But why would she sit there for an hour by herself?"

"Well, she's obviously just waiting for someone." Merlin says, glancing over at her from their table. She is on one side of the pub, they are on the other. "See? She keeps checking her phone."

Gwaine downs the rest of his pint, before thumping the empty glass down a little too loudly on the table. "Yeah, but for messages or for the time? I reckon she's been stood up."

Merlin raises his eyebrows. "Can you really think of any guy that wouldn't want to be on a date with her?" He looks over at the woman again and smiles. She is _very_ beautiful. He begins to sip some of his own drink.

"Who said anything about a guy?" Gwaine says, a mischievous grin plastered on his face. "She could be gay."

Merlin spits his drink everywhere, including down himself. A couple from another table look over at him and the barmaid sends him a disapproving look. Thankfully, the "mystery girl", as Gwaine had called her earlier, hadn't noticed.

"Thanks a lot!" Merlin hisses to Gwaine, his face going red in the process.

"I didn't do anything!" His friend laughs, never taking anything seriously.

"I'm going to get cleaned up," Merlin sighs, heading over to the mens' toilets.

Morgana unlocks her phone, for what seems like the hundreth time that night. Check the time. Check her messages. Try to call him. No answer. Leave another voice mail. Her shoulders slump. Where the hell is he? Alvarr said he'd be here 45 minutes ago! She felt, and was pretty sure she was beginning to look, like an idiot. She sighs and brings out her purse. She doesn't have much cash on her, she never seems to, but she has enough to buy a drink at least. Enough to make herself look like she isn't a complete loser. She gets up and walks over to the bar.

"Can I have a coke, please?"

£1.80, then."

She looks down at her purse. 20 pence short. _Shit._

"You've put your prices up." She states to the woman seving her.

"Business is getting tight, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Well then I can't buy the drink. I don't have enough." She feels completely humiliated. That worthless, drunk of a boyfriend Alvarr is always getting her into situations ike this.

She begins retreating slowly back to her table, but only makes it a few steps before slamming into someone else. Tonight just really isn't her night is it? She looks up to apologise, only to find the dark-haired man who'd kept on looking at her tonight, staring back.

He smiles brightly at her. "Sorry, wasn't looking where I was going. Happens a lot, really."

"No, it's my fault. I wasn't thinking properly."

"What were you thinking about?"

She frowns.

"No, sorry it's none of my business."

"At least you're actually talking to me. Anyway, I was thinking about my boyfriend." His heart sinks. "And what a waste of space he is." He hides a slight smile.

"Oh. How come?"

"Well, he was supposed to be here about an hour ago."

"Have you tried ringing him?"

"About 50 times." She runs a hand through her hair in frustration.

"Do you know where he might be?" He asks, feeling sorry for her.

"Probably drunk outside a strip club somewhere."

"Do you want me to go and help you look for him?" Morgana is surprised by his kindness, it's not really something she gets from Alvarr.

"No, it's fine. I think I'll just go home." She sighs.

"You could come and sit with us if you like? At least then you won't have had a wasted journey." He smiles again and she can't resist.

"Us?"

"Me and Gwaine. He's my friend." He explains.

"Who's me?" She laughs.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, you haven't introduced yourself yet."

"I'm Merlin." He grins, extending his hand. She shakes it.

"Morgana," she says. "And if the offer's still open, then yes, I would very much like to sit with you. As long as your friend doesn't try to chat me up."

"You know, I really can't keep that promise. Gwaine's a bit-"

"Flirty? Charming? Good looking?"

"Yeah. All of the things I'm not." Of course. She'd be attracted to Gwaine and not him. He feels like banging his head against a brick wall.

"Yes you are! You're a very kind man!" She reassures him.

"Kindness isn't getting me very far at the moment."

She laces their fingers together. "Come on. I want you to introduce me to Gwaine."

**Ugh, I hate first chapters. Sorry it's so short. **

**Please review! It would mean a lot! Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay! Lovely reviews, lovely people! Much more than I'd hoped! I might not update for a while after this as I need to get back to my other story! So, this is Chapter 2 and I hope you like it!**

"You thought I was gay?" Morgana laughs at Gwaine, many hours (and drinks) later.

"And then I spat my drink out everywhere, including on myself, and how to go and put my shirt on inside out!" Merlin tells her, between the laughter.

"Oh, hey, look. We're the lasts ones here." Gwaine says. He's right, the pub is completely empty besides them.

"Oh God," Merlin sniggers. "What time is it?"

"I have no idea!" Gwaine has had far too many drinks for one night.

Morgana giggles. "I think we scared everyone off."

"Well, you don't scare me," the barmaid says from behind them, they had completely forgotten she was in there with them. It seems Gwaine has taken the full force of the woman's sudden appearance and jumps about 2 feet in the air, banging his knee on the table. More laughter rings out around the room.

"Go on," the waitress says, trying to hurry them on their way. "We were supposed to close 10 minutes ago."

Morgana grabs her coat from the back of her chair and they head out of the door, her troubles with Alvarr almost forgotten. Almost. They step out into the cool, winter breeze, which refreshes her warm face. The trio walk to the end of the road, until it splits into two. It is dark, with only the dim glow of the streetlights to guide them.

"See ya later!" Gwaine calls, heading down the opposite road to them.

"Are you sure you can walk, Gwaine?" Merlin yells to his friend as he stumbles over the pavement. His friend grins at him as he steadies himself.

"Bye Gwaine!" Morgana waves at him.

"Adios! Bonjour! Whatever they say!" He says, attempting a Spanish and a French accent of some sort, at the same time. She laughs openly and turns back to Merlin as they walk. She entwines their hands again as soon as Gwaine is out of sight. Twice in one night? He can barely believe his luck.

"I like Gwaine," she says thoughtfully, after a few seconds.

"Me too."

"Hey, sweetheart!" A slurred voice comes from around the corner and Morgana visibly cringes. Alvarr staggers into view, swinging a bottle of alcohol around. Merlin grips her hand tighter.

"Do you want to go another way?" He whispers as Alvarr approaches them.

"No, it's okay. We can-"

"Morgana!" Her boyfriend sways towards. "Did I miss the party?"

"Only by a few hours," she mutters, then louder so that he can hear. "You're drunk." She can smell the drink on his breath from a metre away.

"Well, when you put it like that, darling." He looks down at their joined hands. His eyes narrow. "You made a friend."

"Look, Alvarr, he's just-"

"Just what?" He smashes the bottle on the floor in anger, shards of glass flying everywhere. Morgana flinches and Merlin drags her behind him to protect her.

"Leave her alone." He says calmly.

"Or what?" Alvarr shouts, pushing Merlin backwards in the chest. "What you gonna do, big man?"

Morgana peers over Merlin's shoulder. "Alvarr, please." She whispers.

"Please what? How long has this been going on, eh? How long have you been seeing him?"

"I only met him tonight, Alvarr! We're just friends for God's sake!" She is desperate for him to understand. He doesn't.

"A likely story!" Alvarr laughs in her face. "So what? You just happened to meet him in a pub and now you're holding hands? Just friends, you say."

"Just back off, okay? Merlin steps forward and Morgana can't decide if he's trying to be brave or completely stupid. It is all a blur after that. Alvarr's fist collides with Merlin's jaw and he is sent sprawling to the floor, his lip cut and bleeding. She screams for Gwaine and 20 seconds later he comes bounding around the corner, ready to fight.

He pulls her out of the man's reach and helps Merlin to his feet. Gwaine turns to the thuggish man, who instictively takes a step back from his presence. "I don't know who the hell you are," he growls at him. "But you'd better not come near or hurt them again."

Morgana hopes Alvarr will actually use his brain for once, and decide not to take on the two grown men in front of him, especially in this drunken state. Alvarr grits his teeth and slowly walks away and she breathes out for what seems like the first time in 2 minutes. Morgana hugs the two men, but hugs Merlin tighter, trying to make out how bad the punch was in the low light.

"I think we all need to go home," Gwaine sighs. "We ought to get that cut cleaned up."

The three sit in Merlin's kitchen, with Morgana and Merlin sitting at the table and Gwaine clattering around behind them, trying to put three cups of tea together. Morgana dabs at Merlin's bloodied lip with a wet tea-towel and apologises every time he winces.

"I'm so sorry," she sighs.

"I've already told you. It doesn't hurt that much."

"No, I meant about Alvarr in general. He just gets angry when he's drunk."

"And violent."

"Yeah."

A clanking comes from behind them.

"I found the mugs,"Gwaine grins sheepishly. They'd forgotten he was even in the room with them.

"Try and find one that isn't in a thousand pieces," Merlin advises him and Morgana giggles. Her face turns serious again.

"I really am sorry, you know. You've been punched in the face and probably made an enemy in one night."

"I made a friend, though."

She smiles. "Yeah, I guess you did."

"Aw, you two just kiss already!" Gwaine interupts them in a girly voice.

Merlin clears his throat and Morgana blushes and stands up quickly.

"Anyway," she says, "I really should be getting back. Alvarr will probably be wondering where I am."

"Won't he be angry?" Merlin frowns.

"He'll have calmed down by now," she lies.

"You've got my phone number, haven't you?"

"Yes. You gave it to me earlier."

"Okay, good. Just ring me if you need anything." He reassures her.

"Guess I'll be having two cups of tea then?" Gwaine chuckles.

"Oh. I'm sorry Gwaine. I just really need to get home."

"Nah, it's okay, I like tea. But to make up for it, you have to give me a kiss."

She stares at him. His face creases into laughter. Merlin breathes a sigh of relief.

"Oh, you!" She smacks his shoulder and pulls him in for a hug. "Thank you for helping earlier. I don't know what I'd have done without you."

"Screamed a bit louder, probably."

She smiles and then turns to hug Merlin. "I'm so sorry about your lip,"she whispers to him.

"It's okay. It's not your fault."

"But I feel like-"

He brings a finger to her lips and shushes her. She laughs before heading out to the front door.

"I'll see myself out."

"You sure?" Merlin asks.

"Yeah. I'll see you soon."

"Okay." He nods.

"And I'm sorry for-"

"Just go!" Merlin laughs.

She unlocks the door, her cold hands fumbling with the key before she can slot it in. She walks into the house and it's pitch black apart from the glare of the TV which guides her into the living room. She walks over to the sofa to find Alvarr asleep on it, the images from the TV flickering over his horrible face. A half-empty bottle of lager stands on the coffee table. Where the hell is he getting all these drinks from? He's got even less money than her, for goodness sake.

She sighs and takes the bottle and empties the remains down the sink. Morgana wishes she could do this with Alvarr too, just pour him down the sink or flush him down the toilet. Out of her life. She knows that will never happen. She can't get rid oof him that easily.

She walks back into the living room and picks up the remote, ready to switch off whatever stupid show her worthless boyfriend was watching before he fell asleep. She turns back to him to find his eyes wide open and staring right at her. She lets out a yelp of surpise and he grabs hold of her wrist, pulling her down to his level.

His voice is a dangerous whisper. "That man. I don't want you to see him again."

"You can't tell me what to do Alvarr." She tells him, trying to wrench herself out of his grip.

He gives her wrist a sharp twist and she lets out a small cry of pain.

"I can and I will. You are not to see him again. Either of them. Do you understand?"

"Yes." She whispers.

"I can't hear you."

"YES!" She shouts at him. "Now let go."

He does as she says and she runs upstairs to their bed. Not bothering to undress, she dives under the covers, wishing she was at Merlin's house with a nice, hot cup of tea.

**A little insight into Alvarr and Morgana's relationship...**

**Do you think he's too evil, because I'm not sure? I kind of based him on Haymitch from the hunger games (they look quite similar?) I don't know.**

**Um. Thank you for all the amazing reviews - not what I was expecting! If you have the time and can be bothered, please give me some feedback, good or bad, and how you think I can improve it. **

**Now back to writing my other fic... (This is so exhausting.)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I can't believe the reviews and follows for this! Eeek! Anyway, I also can't believe how long it's been since I updated this story and I apologise for that. Because of Merlin ending, I really want to know whether people are going to keep reading and writing their own FanFiction for the show, or whether this is just a waste of ideas? Please PM or review to tell me! Onto the chapter and I hope it's okay!**

**Oh! There are also some mentions of drugs in this chapter, so don't read if that sort of thing offends you or something. Thought I'd better put a warning. :)**

"Maybe you should take some painkillers," Morgana suggests as Alvarr complains for what seems like te 50th time about his hangover. She watches as he groans and stumbles slowly around the kitchen as he searches for some.

"I don't think we have any," he grumbles, after many cupboards have taken a bashing.

"Oh," she says, and tries to feel sorry for him, but is interupted as he suddenly goes to kiss her. Morgana quickly ducks out of his reach and sighs - these swift mood changes were becoming more and more frequent and he was in desperate need of some toothpaste.

"I'm going to the shop," she explains to his confused and slighty hurt face. "To get some painkillers."

"We don't have any money." Alvarr says bluntly.

She rolls her eyes at him. "I'm sure we'll have enough for that. Anyway, I'll only be a few minutes," she tells him and Alvarr nods.

_A few minutes of freedom, _Morgana thinks to herself as she steps out of the doorway. She walks up the road to the small corner shop at the top of it, not very far away at all, but far enough from that stupid house and all the tension inside it. She takes her time walking despite the cold, dodging patches of ice, almost stopping at one point because of her speed and when she finally gets to the shop she browses it like a library, before going to pay for the tablets.

"Gwaine!? What the hell are you doing here?" She hisses to the man at the till.

The familiar face looks up and smiles. "Such a nice way to be greeted!" He laughs. "I work here."

"Since when?"

He sits up straighter in his chair and points to his name badge. "Gwaine," he reads in some kind of robotic voice, "I joined the team in 2011."

"How come I've never seen you in here before then?" She asks, almost accusingly. Her eyes shoot to the door, expecting Alvarr to be there, probably ready to kill Gwaine. There is no-one there, but Gwaine follows her gaze to the shop entrance before answering her question.

"Oh, I mainly worked in the back of the shop doing storage and deliveries and that."

"Sounds like fun," she comments flatly.

"Feel free to enlighten me on how your job is better," Gwaine jokes lightly and watches her blank expression. "Unemployed?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Well, I work for my father and his business, like my brother, they're both away on a work trip at the moment, but it's a bit..." Morgana trails off.

"Dead?" Gwaine offers.

"Yeah. But it should pick up soon. A deal is currently being made between him and Alvarr's parents, so it should be okay in a bit," she explains to him.

"£1.50, please." Gwaine's face hardens and he looks down at the item he has just swiped through the till. Out of the corner of her eye, Morgana can see another man stood behind her, a bottle of something in his hand, waiting to pay. She doesn't even have to look properly to know that it's him.

How long has he been stood there? How dare he spy on her? She practically throws Gwaine the money and she snatches up the packet of tablets, scurrying out of the shop. Through the fear and the panic, she hears Alvarr mutter something as she walks past, but is already out of the shop before she realises he was talking to her. What he said, Morgana had no idea. She half walks, half runs down the street, forgetting the icy patches. Her foot goes down on a glistening patch of the frozen water and slips backwards, her left wrist breaking her fall. Morgana winces as a hot ache travels up her arm and her spine.

Sniggering comes from a small group of hooded men on the other side of the street. Tears prickle at her eyelids, but she forces herself to scowl at the horde of men. Eventually they look away, and she watches one male share something out - sweets? - between the gang and they split into two groups, walking in opposite directions.

She sighs and pushes herself to her feet, brushing the wet, white ice-shards from her clothes. Racing through the front door, she begins to pack the paracetamol away into a cupboard. She does not hear the the door open again and then click quietly shut. But she does feel the strong, cold arms go to her waist and wrap tightly around her. It feels like she is suffocating, like he is the snake and she the prey, he constricts her and squeezes the air from her lungs.

"I think me and you should have an early night." He suggests and kisses her shoulder.

Surely he doesn't mean...? An unpleasant shiver goes through her, as does the adrenaline. "It's 5 o'clock in the evening." Morgana states, trying to sound flat and casual, but failing horribly as the panic sets into her voice.

"So? Come on, sweetheart, you didn't even let me kiss you earlier." The sudden caring tone of his voice scares her. Alvarr is _never_ like this with her.

"You're kissing me now."

He smirks into her neck and presses his lips to it. "Not where I want to."

A cold shudder ripples up her spine and it cruelly reminds her of how much her back hurts from falling on the ice. How stupid can he be? How can he go from hurting and humiliating her one minute, to expecting her to sleep with him the next. Even having him touching her now feels revolting. Kissing him would feel wrong. As though she was cheating on someone else with him. She feels guilty even being seen with him now, like it's all some big secret.

_Damn you, Merlin,_ she thinks. _Damn you for making me feel like a terrible person for even being with Alvarr in the first place. Damn you, with your beautiful eyes and your kind smile and your protectiveness and your friendly hugs and cups of tea. Well, Gwaine's cups of tea._ She smiles at the memory.

Alvarr rudely interrupts her of her thoughts. "So, shall we?"

Her eyes burn with rage. The flight repsonse has been seemingly abandoned, the fight taking over her brain. She is _not _doing this.

"No," she objects through gritted teeth.

His grips slackens a little, which allows her to breath a bit easier. "Why not?"

_Because you made me sit in a pub on my own for 2 hours, punched Merlin in the face, hurt me, threatened me, controlled me, followed me, oh and you make me feel like a bit of dirt on your shoe, that's why._

"I just feel tired," she sighs. In past times she would just give in to his bedroom requests because it kept him happy and she feared what he would do if she argued for too long.

Alvarr laughs slightly and it makes her jump. "Really? Because you looked like you were running down the street a few minutes ago. Care to explain?" His tone is patronising, like a smug older sibling who has caught the younger child doing something they shouldn't and cannot wait to tell the parent.

"It was cold," she gulps. "i didn't want to hang around."

She swears to God she can actually _hear_ him smirking behing her.

"Of course. That's why you were going so slowly on the way up."

She is about to protest about him spying on her, but he spins her roughly in his arms to face him, causing her to gasp. At first, she feels better that she is facing him, as she can see what he is doing. But at the same time she feels more vulnerable, with the palms of his hands resting firmly on the kitchen counter top on either side, so that she has nowhere to go but him.

"I think you're lying. I think we should play a game," he mutters and the hot, liquid anger that was not long ago rushing in her veins, freezes. He seems to sense her distress as she wonders what sadistic methods he will use to get the information out of her.

"Have you heard of the game 'Three Questions'?" He asks and she nods. At many a sleepover, her and Gwen have played this game, giggling away into the night about boys and _very_ personal questions.

"You know the rules?"

"Yes. Person A get to ask Person B three questions and they have to be Yes/No questions. Person A is not allowed to reply to any of Person B's answers. Person B has to answer them completely honestly. Then you swap." She informs him nervously.

"Good. I'll go first. Did you know that man worked in the shop?"

"No."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes," she lies. Well, maybe a part of her does love him. But it must be an extremely small part.

"Before you answer the last question, I want you to swear on your brother's life that you will answer it truthfully," Alvarr demands.

"I swear on Arthur's life." She dreads whatever the next question will be and what her answer is.

"Are you attracted to the dark-haired man I punched last night?"

"He has a name, you know," she snaps before she can stop herself.

Alvarr smiles at her. "I guess that answered my question then, didn't it?"

She closes her eyes in disgust for allowing herself to be tricked by him into standing up for Merlin, showing her affection for him.

"My go," she says quickly, knowing that Alvarr can't talk to her about her answer. "The money you always seem to be spending on drink, do you recieve it as payment?"

His face hardens. "Yes."

She breathes a sigh of relief - at least he hasn't been stealing it. "Is this payment legal?"

He licks his lips. "No."

She stiffens. This afternoon. She left the house. He leaves the house a few moments later. She goes into the shop to buy painkillers. He goes into to buy alcohol. Which means whatever trans-action Alvarr did to get the money for beer happened between the shop and the house. She thinks back to the shifty group of men on the other side of the road who laughed at her, weren't they handing something out? And then, slowly, it all falls into place.

"Are you involved with drugs?" She asks coldly.

He grins at her. "Great work, Sherlock Holmes."

She shoves him away from her, catching him off guard. And then, in one fluid movement, her palm connects with his cheek and it feels as though a large weight has been lifted from her. It feels good to know that she can actually inflict pain on him, lash out and be angry, instead of him just using her as a punchbag to get his own way. Alvarr, however, does not feel the same way.

"What the hell was that for?" He yells and the disbelief in his eyes mirrors in her own.

"What in God's name were you thinking!? That you selling drugs could just solve all the money problems?" She screams at him.

"Keep your voice down!" He hisses at her. "Someone could hear you!"

"Oh, don't worry! I don't think the neighbours will care about your dealings, but I know the police will take an interest." She leaves the threat open before exiting the kitchen and makes her way to the front door, grabbing her coat on the way out.

"You won't report me to the police," Alvarr calls to her form the kitchen. "Because you know as easily as you can get me arrested, I can call off the deal between our parents. That's what this is all about, isn't it? That's why you're with me. To secure the business."

Morgana curses him loudly and walks outside, slamming the door for good measure. She stares at the empty street. She hates the way the sky can get so dark so quickly in the winter, and how the air can get so cold. She pulls the coat tighter around her. Where now? Uther and Arthur are away. Gwen will be busy working one of her many late shifts at the hospital. What about Merlin? Didn't he say to ring him if she needed anything? She smiles slightly and reaches into her pocket for her phone, only to find it isn't there. it must've fallen out when she'd thrown her coat down earlier in her panic to get back to the house. She knows that if she walks back through that door now, Alvarr will be stood there, smug and smirking. She will not go back into that house if it kills her. Merlin just better be prepared for a visitor.

Half an hour later she finds his house, only about a mile away, but searching for his house at night and from memory wasn't really a fun expedition. Her hands shake from the cold when she knocks on the door and she sees a light flick on behind it. She smiles when Merlin opens the door in jeans and a t-shirt, his black hair sticking out in every direction.

"Morgana!" He smiles brightly and desperately attempts to flatten his hair down. "Come in, you must be freezing."

She thanks him and steps into the warmth. He quietly shuts the door behind her and takes her coat. She hides a smile. "I'm so sorry I couldn't ring. I left my phone at home. Also, sorry if this is really inconvenient, but I don't have anywhere else to go."

"Why? What's happened? You're not hurt, are you?" His eyes are filled with more worry and concern in one moment than Alvarr's have shown in over a year.

"No, no I'm fine thank you, Merlin." She reassures him.

He gives a small smile of relief and leads her into the living room. "Well, what's happened then?"

She slumps down onto the surprisingly comfortable, pale brown sofa and he sits next to her. The room is fairly untidy, with stacks of books and and old CDs piled high and dotted in lots of different places. Messy, but cosy. "Just Alvarr being a complete and utter twat."

His eyes widen. "Oh God, he didn't have a go at you about last night, did he? Because if that's why you're here then you should just go back and talk. I don't want to... disrupt things between you two."

"Alvarr was... okay about it," she hesitates, deciding to leave that piece of information out. "But I'm not going back because I'm too angry and he won't listen to me. And I'd much rather be here with you."

"Wow, you can almost smell the cheese from that last sentence," Merlin comments sarcastically and she laughs, which causes him to grin, too. "But if this isn't about him getting angry the other night, then did you just have an argument or something?"

"A bit more than that," she sighs and Merlin sends her a questioning look. "I found out that he's involved with drugs."

"Oh." He looks stunned.

"Yeah, I know," she says sadly, the realisation of it all suddenly getting at her, too.

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea."

Before she can say anything else, Merlin pulls her into a giant hug and holds her tightly, stopping every so often to wipe away her tears with his thumb.

"Do you mind sleeping on the sofa?" He asks, after a while.

"No, I shouldn't stay. It's not fair on you," she says and pulls out of the hug.

"Please? I'd feel better if you did. And where would you go?" He smiles sadly at her.

She tries to resist the deep blue eyes and the encouraging smile, but can't.

"Well, only if you're sure..." she says shyly, not wanting to intrude.

"I'm sure. I'll just go and find you a spare duvet or something, I think I have one somewhere." He tells her.

"Merlin, thank you," she smiles and he disappears from the room, leaving her on her own. Or so she thought. A tiny, furry face pokes it's head around the door and mews at her. Morgana giggles and rubs her thumb and index finger together to try and get the cat to come closer. "Hello, puss," she whispers to the tortoise shell cat as it lets her stroke it's head. She gently scoops the cat up and lifts it onto her lap, still stroking the soft fur.

"I've got it!" Merlin calls brightly from the stairs and a few seconds later he walks into the living room with a thick blanket clutched in his arms. "You've found Aithusa, then."

"Why didn't you tell me you had a cat?"

"Never got round to it, I suppose," he explains, depositing the blanket down next to her. "You're not allergic, are you?"

"I don't think so," she frowns. "What did you say her name was, again?"

"Aithusa."

"Aithusa," she smiles, testing the name. "That's pretty."

"Yeah, I guess so. She's normally quite shy." Merlin says, puzzled.

"I'm honoured," Morgana laughs as the cat rolls onto her back, wanting a belly rub.

He smiles at the scene, Morgana seems a lot happier now. "Is there anything else you need? Like a drink?"

"No, I'm fine, Merlin, but thank you. For everything."

"You're welcome. Goodnight," he says softly and flicks off the light as he walks out, she hears his footsteps creak on the floorboards as he goes upstairs. She hadn't reaslied how late it was. Or how tired she was. She wraps the heavy blanket around her and lies down on the sofa, quickly falling asleep, with Aithusa curled up on her feet.

**Yay! A longer chapter for once!**

**Should this be M rated with the drugs and that?  
Maybe I made Alvarr a little too evil, but I needed a big reason for why Morgana would leave him. I did watch 'Parked' the other day which may have influenced me a lot - such a beautiful film though! I cried for ages :(**

**Anywho, please please please review because I need to know if you will all still read this, give me ways to improve, etc and you aren't too angry with me. If you are angry, then please feel free to come and scream at me through PM and be like "WTF! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! ASDFGHJKL! I HATE YOU!"**

**Thank you for reading! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Next one! Since I have now finished my other story, I can update this one more (hopefully) but the chapters will be shorter. Thank you for the reviews I got for Chapter 3 and I hope you enjoy this one!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

_Morgana,_

_I have gone to work and will be back at about 5pm.  
Please help yourself to anything in the fridge or cupboard.  
I have left the hot water switched onso you can have a shower if you want - I think there are some spare towels in the airing cupboard.  
I'm sure you can figure out how to use the TV remotes and don't worry if you can't find Aithusa because she tends to wander off.  
There is also a spare door key on the kitchen table if you want to go out.  
From Merlin  
PS. You snore really loudly._

Her mouth drops open at the last sentence, but she finds herself grinning at the kind letter she had found on the coffee table. She looks around for Aithusa and sees that the cat is still keeping her legs warm. They start to play a game where Morgana wiggles her feet under the duvet and Aithusa claws and pounces at the movements, which results in a lot of giggling and meowing.

Merlin was right - the TV remotes aren't hard to use - and she ends up watching a 'Friends' marathon and then 'Doctor Who' re-runs. At about 12pm, she can no longer ignore her rumbling stomach, and manages to drag herself off of the comfortable sofa and into the kitchen. Going by previous experiences, she decides not to cook anything, so she raids the sparse food cupboards and eats a packet of Hula-Hoops and a Rocky bar instead. Not a particularly healthy breakfast, but nevermind.

Aithusa disappears after a while, so, with nothing else to do, she locates the bathroom and has a shower. Funnily enough, Merlin doesn't own any fruity scented shampoos or conditioners, so she just rinses her hair through with the hot water. She could stand there for hours with the water hammering down on her tense shoulders, but eventually it begins to run cold. Stepping out of the steam is like torture and her skin prickles with goosebumps as soon as it is exposed to the cold air of the bathroom so she quickly wraps the towel she brought in with her around her shoulders.

Cursing under her breath, she realises that she forgot a towel for her hair and reluctanty exits the bathroom and searches the airing cupboard for one. No such luck. She ventures cautiously downstairs, in the hope of finding one there, but it is much cooler than the shower and she shivers as the freezing air attacks her body.

She checks the living room and then the kitchen, wishing to find a towel on a radiator, but there are none. With the idea of having something to dry her hair with diminshed, she goes to walk back upstairs, but only gets halfway across the kitchen before she hears the front door open.

Merlin's voice calls out to her and then starts to get louder, so she looks desperately around for somewhere to hide or something to cover herself with, but there is nothing, so she stands there and waits, dressed in only a towel. A few seconds later, Merlin's cheerful face appears around the corner and the two make eye contact for what feels like forever.

He walks forwards suddenly and grabs her waist, kissing her passionately. He rips the towel from her shoulder and-

"I'm sorry," he stammers and she snaps out of her of her daydream, as he brings his hand up over his eyes, shielding her from his view. "I had no idea you were..."

"Yeah, I was just going to..."

"Yeah okay," he breathes and she thunders up the stairs, clutching the towel tightly.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot," she mutters to herself as she throws her cothes back on, hobbling around inside the bathroom. How could she think about Merlin like that? At that specific point in time? She wants to stay upstairs forever, the thought to having to go down and look Merlin in the eyes again after that is almost unbearable. A few more minutes are dragged out, as she attempts to untangle her hair with her fingers, before she finally decides to take the trip downstairs again. She finds him in the living room, sat on the sofa and staring into space.

"Merlin?" He looks up, so that their eyes meet, and then quickly looks away, both of them blushing furiously. "Sorry about... that. I couldn't find a towel for my hair, so I came down to look for one and then you came in... Why are you back, anyway? I thought you said you finished work at 5 o'clock?"

"Lunch break," he explains. "I came back to see how you were. Got a bit more than I bargained for, though."

"Yes," she laughs nervously. "I think you did."

The joke ends and the silence begins as they run out of things to say. Morgana stands awkwardly in the doorway, her wet hair dripping loudly onto the carpet.

Merlin turns to her suddenly. "Did you find a towel in the end?"

She shakes her head. "I don't suppose you've got a hairdryer have you?

"Not that I know of," he smiles. "I bet Gwaine has one though, so you could ask him." Then he leaves for work againa and she lounges around all day until he comes back.

"Is pizza okay?" Merlin yells as she goes into the kitchen to help him unpack the shopping.

"Pizza is fine, thank you," she replies as she walks into the room. He starts, not realising she was so close, and hits the back of his head on a cupboard he was putting an item into.

"Ouch," Morgana comments at the thud and he grins sheepishly as she begins delving into some carrier bags. "I probably won't be of much use to you, as I don't know where anything goes," she tells him as she starts placing tins of baked beans on the counter top.

"Nah, that's okay. You can just put what you find anywhere really," he instructs as he opens several cupboards, shoves random things inside and then shuts the door quickly again before they have chance to fall out. "Oh, I have something for you, by the way."

"Really?" She asks as she copies his untidy method and slings a few packets of crisps away.

"Taadaa!" He smiles broadly at her, as he hands her a carrier bag containing a hairdryer, a hairbrush and a small bottle of strawberry scented shampoo.

"Merlin!" She exclaims. "Thank you, but you really shouldn't have."

"It's okay," he laughs as she hugs him gratefully. "But you really should've seen some of the looks I was getting when I went through the checkout."

20 minutes later they are sat on the faded brown sofa, tucking into half of a cheese and tomato pizza each.

"Where do you work, Merlin?" Morgana asks him after they have stopped laughing at 'Total Wipeout' on the TV.

"HMV," he says, as they watch yet another contestant go tumbling off the Big Red Balls. "Why?"

"I just wondered, that's all." She looks around the room. "It explains all the CDs."

"Yep," Merlin agrees. "I'm making the most of my staff discount card."

She giggles and reaches out for another slice of pizza.

"What happened to your wrist?" Merlin frowns and sits forwards.

"Huh? Oh," she looks down at her outstretched arm to find that the skin is a purpley blue and swollen. "It's from yesterday. I slipped on some ice and fell on my arm. I hadn't really paid any attention to it until now."

"Does it hurt to move it?" He asks and takes her wirst gingerly in his hands, inspecting it.

"I don't think so. I mean, I can't remember it hurting apart from when I did it."

"Does this hurt?" He squeezes the bruised flesh gently and she winces slightly. Then he disappears off to the kitchen and walks back in with an ice-pack with a tea towel wrapped around it.

"Thanks," she nods as he rests it on her lower arm.

"Welcome," Merlin says and flumps back down on the sofa.

They settle into a more comfortable silence than the one earlier in the day, happily eating and relaxing. Suddenly, Morgana gasps and stands up, fumbling through the pockets of her jumper and then her jeans. She stops and proudly brandishes a small, silver key.

"What?" Merlin almost laughs.

"Front door key," she beams.

"And?"

"I forgot I had it. We can use it. Tomorrow. We can wait until Alvarr goes out and then go into the house and get my clothes and that...If that's okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Merlin agrees. "It's my day off, too. Good thinking, Batman."

She takes a small bow and then returns to the sofa.

**Ugh, what a horribly short chapter! Bit of a filler, but the next chapter is going to be so much fun! Already have some of it written. **

**I hope you liked this one - I only put in Morgana daydreaming at the last minute and even then I was debating it, so I hope you like it! Please please PLEASE review! It makes me so happy if you do!**

**Thank you for reading! Oh, and a belated Happy New Year! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I made the mistake of reading this story through so far and I was sat there cringing because it's so awful and oh God, why do you guys read this?**

**Thank you for the lovely reviews! I think I say that everytime... Anywho. I hope you like this chapter - I tried to make it fairly funny, but going by my sense of humor, you'll probably be sat there like "WHAT." Sorry for any spelling mistakes - if you spot any please tell me and I can correct it! **

**Disclaimer: I do (not) own Merlin. **

"Why do I feel like I'm on one of those American 'CSI' TV shows?" She turns to look at Merlin, who is sat in the driver's seat and wearing a thick, black, stick-on moustache. She bursts out laughing and he puts down the newspaper he was pretending to be reading.

"I have no idea," Merlin says. "Oh, I moust-ache you a question. Do we have guns?"

"No," she giggles.

"Well, then we're not on an American crime TV show. Are there any updates on Alvarr?" He asks.

Morgana looks at the reflection in the wing mirror to see that the door is still shut and the curtains still drawn.

"No updates," she sighs.

"Great work, Agent M!" Merlin praises her over-enthusiasticly and she grins at his childish behaviour. She checks the mirror again, just for a double check, and then catches a glimpse of herself, too. They do look ridiculous. She has her hair tied back and tucked away on top of her head by a baseball cap and is wearing one of Merlin's old, black hoodies that comes up over the cap.

"Merlin, do you really think the disguises were necessary?"

"Absolutely!" Merlin says, pretending to be shocked, whilst wiggling his dark eyebrows and his nose, so that the moustache and eyebrows move at the same time. "Shhh, Agent M!" Merin orders as she starts giggling uncontrollably. "This is a serious mission!"

"I think you're taking this a bit too seriously, Merlin," she laughs as the moustache continues to wiggle around like a caterpillar.

"Oh please, don't tell me you never wanted to be a spy when you were younger!"

"True," she agrees. "But that was when I was about 10. And anyway, if I'm Agent M, then who are you? We can't both be Agent M."

"Yes we can."

"No, we can't! It's too confusing!"

"Can."

"Can't!"

"_Yes_, we can! Look, I think I should be the one who makes the important decisions. I mean, I've practically seen you naked," Merlin argues.

"Ha! That doesn't count for anything!" She retorts.

"Doesn't it?" He teases her. "Because it should. I think you've blinded me."

"Pffft. You say it like it's a bad thing." She says airily, but blushes all the same.

They sit in the car for another 5 minutes, until Morgana watched the door open and Avarr walk out.

"Bingo!" She cheers and they wait until Alvarr has disappeared around the corner before they get out of the car. They try to walk nonchalantly up to the house, but due to the hoody and the moustache, it isn't long before passers by start giving them strange looks. "Well, that was embarrassing," Morgana admits as she slots the key into the door.

"Don't be so self-conscious, Agent M."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Stop calling you what, Agent M?"

She gives him a sly pinch on the arm and opens the door. The stench of alcohol comes out to greet them as they peer down the hallway at the empty bottles and cans that are scattered all over the floor.

"Nice place," Merlin mutters, as they step in and he shuts the door behind them.

They wander upstairs, carefully dodging pieces of litter and the occassional bit of laundry. They enter the bedroom to find the duvet crumpled on the floor, along with a few pillows. She'd seen enough of Alvarr's temper to know that he'd probably flipped out when she left. Good.

She flings open the chest of drawers and begins digging out piles of clothes, before realising she has nothing to put them in. Merlin seems to notice the situation and she hears his footsteps as they descend downstairs. She stands up once finished emptying her belongings from the drawers and goes to start rummaging through the wardrobe, when she spots a photo on the floor.

She bends down and scoops it up, recognising it immediately. Her and Alvarr, on holiday in France. Before Uther's business had sunk. Before her step-father had become dependent on her relationship with this man. They were stood at the base of the Eiffel Tower and had been about to go up it, when the man they'd ask to take the photo for them had tried to run off with their camera. Alvarr had just about managed to catch up with the thief and grab the camera back before he could run too far. She smiles at the memory, at their happy faces. She wonders if he was involved with the drugs even then.

She tears the photo into two, the hands that were joined in the image are now ripped apart. The two pieces of paper flutter quietly to the floor and she jumps when she sees Merlin standing silently in the doorway, empty carrier bags tucked under his arm. She is embarrassed that he has probably seen her destroy the photo and opens her mouth to ask him how long he has been standing there, but he signals to her not to. He puts a finger to his lips, puts the carrier bag down on the bed and then walks towards her.

"There's someone downstairs," he whispers into her ear and his breath tickles at the base of her spine, somehow.

"Who?" She whispers back.

"I don't know. Some bloke, asleep on the sofa. Obviously pissed. Gingery sort of hair. Ring any bells?"

She decides that she likes Merlin when he swears.

"Nope, no idea," she leans her head against his shoulder for comfort, considerably worried now and feels him stiffen. Why does he always do that? Be so kind and willing to help and then when she goes to touch him, it's like she carries some disease he is afraid of catching. Maybe this was ony the first time. Maybe this was because of the shower incident yesterday. Maybe she's imagining it.

He pulls away from her and in the time she had been thinking about Merlin barely touching her, he had tentatively wrapped his arms around her waist for support and she hadn't even noticed.

"We should start packing," Merlin suggests and motions to the piles of clothes strewn across the carpet.

"Yes," she agrees, sad that their 'hug', if you could call it that was over before she could even acknowledge it. However, the task of shovelling clothes into plastic carrier bags was never going to be a quiet one. She winces every time something rustles and looks cautiously towards the bedroom door, expecting to see this ginger man, as Merlin had described him, to be standing there any second.

Eventually, they finish putting the clothes into the noisy bags and tiptoe downstairs. The front door creaks incredibly loudly as they open it and there is a snort from the living room. The two of them freeze at the sound and then Morgana reaches out to the bannister for her phone which lies on the stairs. She is so focussed on looking at the iving room door, that her fingers slips and her phone falls to the floor with a loud thump. A startled grunt comes from the room next door, the sound of footsteps and then the man appears, his face fearful as it peeps around the door. Merlin and Morgana both stare at eachother as the man becomes braver and squares up to them.

"Who are you?" He asks gruffly as his eyes take in the moustache, the hoody and the cap, mistaking them both as men. There is a long, silent pause.

"We is robbers, innit?" Morgana attempts a rough, gangster voice that most men seemed to talk in nowadays.

The man raises the TV remote he had been holding in case he needed a weapon. "Robbers?"

"Yeah, mate! We come and steal things from your house, innit?" She decides to play the gangster card for all it's worth.

"Why are you stealing women's clothes?" He frowns as he notices the contents of the bags.

Oh. She goes to make some witty remark about how he was really focussing on the wrong thing here, but Merlin speaks first.

"We're transvestites!" Merlin blurts out suddenly and her jaw drops. The man takes a step back and motions towards the door with the remote.

"Go." He orders and she casually picks up her phone and the bags and the both turn and wak purposefully out of the door.

"Transvestites!?" Morgana yells at Merlin in disbelief as soon as they step back into his house. He dumps the bags he was carrying onto the floor, as does she, and they continue to stare at eachother before exploding into laughter.

"Did you see his face?" Merlin grins. "Oh my God, he looked..."

"Absolutely terrified!" She finishes for him and they go into fits of laughter again.

"I loved your accent, by the way," Merlin commends her. "It was brilliant!"

"Thank you! It was quite fun actually," she admits.

"I think if we ever have to disguise ourselves as spies or gangsters again, we should make sure we wear our trousers down by our knees. Isn't that the trend nowadays? Having your jeans halfway down your backside?"

"Oh God, I know! It looks so awful! I see men going round like it in town and I just want to run up to them and pull their trousers up! No-one wants to see your pants, thank you very much!" She stops and realises how much they sound like an old, married couple, complaining about the youths of today.

"What are you smiling at?" Merlin questions her and she notices the grin she has plastered on her face.

"Just the transvestite thing again," she lies, not wanting Merlin to know she was imagining them as 80 year olds and married, hobbling around the streets and waving their walking sticks at teenagers.

"It was the first thing that came into my head, okay?" He tries to defend himself. "I couldn't help it! And you didn't look like you had much of an excuse, either!"

"I was going to say "none of your business" and then knee him in the groin, or something," Morgana tells him.

"Cruel," Merlin says. "Do you know how much that actually hurts?"

"No, but it's incredibly funny to watch."

"Oh really? Well, when it's your time of the month, or whatever the feminine kind call it, I shall remind you of this situation!" Merlin retorts and then turns red as he says it.

"Don't even go there!" Morgana warns him. "And besides, you wouldn't even know when that time was!"

"You think so? You'd either be punching me or kissing me. And if it's down to my choice, then please go with the second option," he advises and she raises an eyebrow, smirking. "Because I really don't want to be on the recieving end of one of your fists," he adds quickly. "I've already been punched this week."

"Oh, I forgot," She goes up on tiptoe and takes his chin in her hands, tilting it slightly. "It looks better," she comments as she runs her thumb over the cut on his bottom lip.

"Feels better, too. Perfect for kissing," he adds and sends her such an obvious wink, Morgana could probably see it from a mile away. She giggles and goes back down to her normal height. When had Merin gotten so flirty?

"You've been spending far too much time with Gwaine," she scolds and follows him into the living room. They sit down on the sofa and suddenly she remembers her phone and digs it out of her pocket. 11 Missed Calls - Gwen. 5 Missed Calls - Arthur. Oops.

"You should ring them," Merlin says, as he looks at the screen. "Who's Gwen? If you don't mind me asking?"

"My best friend," she replies and begins dialling in her number.

"And Arthur?"

"Brother. Well, step-brother," she explains.

"What's he like?"

"Annoying," she mutters and then Gwen picks up the phone.

"MORGANA, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU FOR AGES! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN? DON'T YOU CHECK YOUR PHONE? YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!" The woman screeches into the phone and Morgana holds the mobile as far away from her as possible.

"Nice to talk to you, too, Gwen." She replies and cautiously brings the phone closer to her ear.

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

"With a friend."

"What friend?"

"Merlin."

Gwen sniffs. "Merlin? I've never heard of him."

"I met him a few days ago," she explains.

"A few days ago?"

"Yes."

"And now you're staying at his place?"

"Uh-huh."

"MORGANA,IS THAT REALLY WISE?" Gwen bellows down the phone and Merlin blushes beside her.

"Yes, but Gwen I trust-"

"TRUST HIM? MORGANA, HE COULD BE A FLIPPING AXE-MURDERER OR SOMETHING, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?"

"Gwen, he can hear you!" Morgana hisses down the phone and rolls her eyes as Merlin starts to laugh silenty.

"I DON'T CARE IF THE WHOLE OF BLOODY CHINA CAN HEAR ME! DON'T TRUST HIM!"

"Look, Gwen, why don't you speak to him? I'm sure he'd love to talk to you," she says and shoves the phone as Merlin who clears his throat.

"Hello. Gwen, isn't it?" He says slowly.

"Guinevere, actually," she snaps and Morgana raises her eyebrows.

"Okay, um, Guinevere, Morgana's fine, if that's what you're worried abou-"

"Yes, of course that's what I'm worried about," she interrupts.

"Well, she's okay." He says, then it goes silent and he wonders if she's hung up.

"Are you feeding her properly?"

Morgana groans and covers her face with her hands.

"Y-yes. We had pizza yesterday."

"Not very healthy."

"Well, no but it was-"

"Where is she sleeping at the moment?"

"On the sofa," Merlin says awkwardly.

"She could put her back out, sleeping on that!"

Morgana holds out her hand for the phoe and Merlin practically throws it back to her.

"Please, Gwen. I'm absolutely fine. Perhaps the person you should be having a go at is Alvarr," she sighs.

"Alvarr? Why what's he-" then Morgana ends the call and Gwen's voice disappears.

"Ready to call Arthur?" Merlin smiles and she slumps back against the sofa.

"Do you know? I really can't be bothered."

**A longer chapter than I had drafted and I hope you like it! Gwen was out of character, I know, but she was very fun to write! This is up a bit later than I wanted, but I was trying to survive the first week back at school.**

**Anyway, please please please review! What you liked, what you didn't like and how I can improve. **

**Thank you so much for reading! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews! I'm happy you found the last chapter fairly humorous. I hope that you will like this chapter - FLUFF - but it never hurt anyone, right? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

"What are we celebrating, then?" Merlin asks as he bites into a cheese sandwich. They are sat on a bench in the town centre. He was on his lunch break and intent on finishing his food, when Morgana had waltzed into the shop with a massive grin on her face, asking if she could talk to him outside for five minutes.

"I've got a new job!" She says excitedly and he raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"I thought you already had one?"

"Well, I did. Sort of. But now I've got a new one," she explains.

"Oh, right. Congratulations, then! Where are you working now?"

"Oh, you know, I'm just a jet fighter pilot," she says and then starts giggling.

Merlin rolls his eyes at her. "Really? That sounds like fun! But don't you have to train to do that?"

"Well, that's what I thought, but apparently I'm fully qualified to fly a jet at hundreds of miles per hour."

"And shoot missiles."

"That too."

"Okay, so where are you really working?" He asks.

"In an office," she smilew proudly and Merlin tries to restrain a laugh. "What? What's wrong with that?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't imagine you sat at a desk all day, answering phone calls and taking messages," he says.

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm perfectly good at answering calls!" She objects.

"Not a good as Gwen," he mutters. "Or should I say, Guinevere." Merlin corrects himself.

"Don't be mean!" She scolds him with a smile. "She was only worried."

"'Don't trust him! He could be an axe-murderer!" He mimics Gwen's frantic tone and Morgana starts laughing.

"Okay, so maybe that was a bit over the top, but you can't blame her," she defends.

"True," Merlin admits. "But just for the record, I'm not a serial killer."

"I know," she sighs. "Gwen's just very..."

"Motherly?" Merlin offers.

"Yes. I suppose she does act like my mother at times," she says distantly and then smiles. "When we were at school, I was always the rebelious teenager and she was more the responsible adult who told me not to do something. Or tried to."

"Like me and Gwaine. Except we were both the naughty pupils. But I bet having Gwen as a friend made it easier for your real mother."

"Hmm?" She seems to be wrapped up in another memory, somewhere.

"I said, having Gwen as a friend must've made it a bit easier for your real mother." He repeats.

"Yes, of course," she agrees, not really focussing on what he is saying.

"What's she like?" Merlin asks, curious now.

"Who, Gwen?"

"No. Your mother?"

"Oh." She frowns. "She was always kind. Very helpful. Pretty, too."

He nods, taking in the phrasing of the words. Past tense.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know she was-"

"It's okay," she reassures him.

"Um, how? If you don't mind me asking," he mumbles awkwardly.

"Cancer."

"Oh."

"I was only six, so I don't even remember her that well," she adds and then turns away, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes of the bluriness. Merlin tries to be comforting and goes to take her hand in his, but she snatches it away as soon as their finger brush together.

"Don't." She says. "Don't be nice to me."

But he ignores her request and pulls her into a hug, deciding this is not the time to ask about her father or tell her about his own. He catches a glimpse of his watch as he reaches out to hold her and so does Morgana.

"Shouldn't you have been back two minutes ago?"

"It doesn't matter."

She sniffs hard and sits up straighter. "It does, Merlin. You should go back - I don't want to get you into trouble."

He gives her a reluctant look. "Okay. See you later."

"Yeah, see you," she says and watches as he starts weaving through crowds of people to get back to the store. She turns and walks in the opposite direction, just as someone comes up to her and links their arms together.

"So, that's the axe-murderer, then?" Asks a dark-skinned girl with black, curly hair.

"Gwen!" Morgana stops and goes to embrace her friend tightly. "Er, yep, that's Merlin."

"He does really bad impressions, by the way," Gwen comments as they start to walk again, but Morgana immediately halts them.

"You were listening in on our conversation?"

"Of course! Well bits of it."

"Gwen!"

"Yeah, yeah. I was just looking out for you! Who's Wayne, anyway?" Gwen asks.

"Wayne?" She frowns. "Oh, you mean Gwaine!"

"Whatever his name is. Who is he?"

"Merlin's friend. Not that it's any of _your_ business."

"What's he like?" She questions, ignoring the last comment.

"He's okay. I don't really know him that well, I've only met him once," Morgana admits casually. "But he's reliable."

"And what about Merlin?"

"Stop being so nosy!" Morgana teases her.

Gwen holds her hands up in defence. "I'm just being your friend. Soooo, what's he like?"

"Merlin's great," she replies quietly, a small smile playing across her lips. "He's very... kind."

"Yes, I saw him hug you. I must say, he's better looking than I thought he would be," Gwen says with a nervous giggle.

"Hmmm," Morgana agrees and they continue the walk to the bus stop in silence.

Gwen gasps suddenly and grabs her arm. "You like him don't you?"

"Yes, he's my friend," Morgana says, pretending that she has no clue what Gwen is on about.

"No, I mean you fancy him! You do, I can tell!" She laughs gleefully.

"I do not!" Morgana hisses at her.

"Yes, you do! See, you're blushing!" Gwen pinches her cheeks with her thumbs and they go an even deeper shade of red.

"We're just friends," Morgana protests as they lean against the bench in the bus shelter, a few dots of rain starting to gather on the clear plastic.

"Of course, that's why you're staying at his house!"

"He's just trying to help me! Especially since Alvarr-"

"Hey, you never did tell me about you and Alvarr," Gwen interrupts. "So go on, fill me in!"

"I think I should tell you somewhere more private," Morgana looks around at the people starting to gatheras they also wait for the next bus, as it starts to pull in.

"Okay, ring me later, then, if you don't want to speak about it here," says Gwen, as they board the vehicle and hand the driver their money in exchange for tickets.

"I will."

They both take a seat and hear the rain come hammering down on the bus roof. January is such a dark and depressing month. Gwen nudges her with her elbow.

"Tell me about Merlin, then. I want to know all about him," she demands excitedly and watches the smile re-appear on Morgana's face.

"Well, he has blue eyes. Really nice blue eyes. And he has black hair and he's tall, but then again, most people are tall compared to me. Apart from you," she says slyly and Gwen smacks her on the knee. "He works in HMV and he has a cat called Aithusa." She bites her bottom lip, debating whether to say the next bit or not. "I've held hands with him twice. Oh, and he's seen me with virtually no clothes on," she finishes with a smirk as she watches Gwen's eyes widen.

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing," Morgana mumbles with a grin and refuses to make eye contact with her friend.

"No, you said-"

The bus driver thankfully stops her from asking any more questions as he announces the next stop, which, coincidentally, is Gwen's.

"Saved by the bell," she mutters and Morgana laughs in triumph. "You will ring me later, won't you?"

"Yes!" She reassures her and watches the woman thank the driver and then turn back to her and holds up her hand to her ear in the shape of a phone. Morgana mouths a "YES!" to her and then she disappears from view.

"I forgot to ring Gwen," she says suddenly.

"Oh?"

"I saw her in town earlier and I said I would call her."

"But you forgot."

"Yep. I shouldn't let you distract me so easily."

He smiles and sweeps her hair over one shoulder before starting work on the other. She groans as his hands push at the muscle.

"When are you starting your new job?"

"No idea. Well, they said they'd ring me the day before they needed me." He is sat on the sofa and she is sat on the floor at his feet, while he rubs her shoulers. He had offered - insisting that she was always hunched up and she hadn't complained.

"Oh, right. You're really tense, by the way," Merlin notes.

"Can you blame me?" She asks and then gasps as his thumb presses into a particularly sensitive bit near her spine.

"Nope. I'm so sorry about Alvarr and everything - it can't be easy. Have you told Gwen, yet?"

"No, that's what - Ow!" Morgana interrupts herself as his knuckle digs into her lower back.

"Sorry," Merlin apologises quickly.

"It's okay. It was a good ow," she says and lets her head lull back against his knees. They sit in silence for a while before she retraces her thoughts. "I was supposed to tell her tonight, but I don't think I can face making her angry and upset. I just feel so relaxed."

"You're really bony," he frowns as he moves his hands back up to her shoulders.

"I'm not. You are! I feel like I'm resting my head against two rocks!"

"Maybe Gwen was right. I should give you more than pizza," he says and she tilts her head up to see the worried expression on his face.

"Merlin," she whines, not wanting him to be concerned.

"I'm serious."

She huffs and faces forwards again.

"Nice socks," she smirks as she looks down at the odd pair currently occupying his feet.

"Thank you. I pride myself in my appearance," he jokes.

"Well, you should," she advises and then strokes a finger down the arch of his foot. She grins when he flinches.

"Don't."

"Why? Ticklish, are you?"

"I'm warning you."

She does it again.

"Morgana."

One more time.

"NO!" She screams as his fingers scrabble around her ribs and she tries to slap them away. He traps her shoulders between his knees and she shrieks, begging him to stop as he tickles harder. She manages to wriggle free but her falls on top of her and they end up wrestling on the carpet. He grabs hold of both of her hands and stations them above her head so that she can't defend herself. She half-laughs, half-screams as he attacks her ribs again, before getting her hands out of his grip and fighting back. Now he is flat on his back and she sits triumphantly on his stomach, her knees pinning his arms to the floor.

"I win!" Morgana yells in victory and punches the air with her fist.

"Yeah, yeah, I let you - Oof!" He groans as Morgana moves forward to sit on his chest.

"Of course you did," she rolls her eyes and then giggles as he starts miming that he can't breathe and makes his body go limp and his eyes close. Thirty seconds go by and he doesn't breathe.

"Merlin?"

One minute.

"MERLIN!"

"What?" He opens his eyes and gives a dorkish grin.

"Don't do that!"

"I was waiting for you to do mouth to mouth!" He laughs and then blushes as she dips down to playfully kiss his cheek.

_Alvarr stalks towards her, a broken bottle in his hand. Her feet stumble backwards until they reach the wall and she cowers under him. There are so many shadows. They dance over his face as he closes the distance between them._

_"What's the matter, Morgana? You're not scared are you?" He asks, pretending to care._

_"No." She feels herself tremble._

_"Really? Because you look it."_

_"Alright! I am scared!" Maybe if she admits her fear, then maybe he'll leave her alone. Maybe not._

_"Well, then prepare to be absolutely terrified," he says with a sickening grin and he swings the jagged edges of the bottle down._

The first thing she does is scream. She kicks and thrashes at the sheets in an attempt to get off of the sofa, but the blankets are tangles around her legs and she falls to the floor. It is pitch black and the sheet has somehow become wrapped around her head and arms. There is a distant clanking sound and then a bang as the living room door flies open. There is a click and then she can see sillhouettes of the room through the cotton. The sheet is suddenly torn away from her and she squints under the unatural, yellowish glare of the light.

Merlin stands over her, a saucepan raised above his head, ready to fight off any unwelcome guests. It is only for a split second, but she mistakes him for Alvarr and screams again, curling herself up into a ball to protect herself. The saucepan falls loudly to the floor and Merlin crouches down next to her, gently pulling her into his arms.

"Morgana, what's happened?"

She says nothing, just takes deep, shuddering breaths.

"Are you hurt?"

She shakes her head.

"Was there someone in here?"

She repeats the action.

"Then I don't understand," Merlin sighs. "Why did you scream?" He waits until she has calmed down for her answer.

"Nightmare," Morgana chokes out and he frowns.

"It was really that bad?"

She removes her arms from over her head and nods.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs softly and strokes a few dark, silky strands of hair behind her ear. "But why did you scream when you saw me?"

"I thought you were going to hit me with it," she says quietly and points at the discarded saucepan.

"Oh," he tries to hide the hurt on his face. "You know I'd never hurt you, don't you?"

She sits up, still cuddled against him. "Yes."

"Good," he says and she buries her face into his shoulder.

**Okay, please, before I get any comments about Alvarr, he has never hit Morgana (I'm not that evil) it's just something she has always feared, hence the nightmare.**

**Anyway, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF! I hope you liked it! And please review, you all make me as happy as a hippo! I love you all and thank you for reading, following, favouriting and reviewing, dearies! Long live Mergana! :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for the reviews! Another fluffy chapter I'm afraid, but it's purely Merlin/Morgana and some progress between them, so I hope that's okay. Erm, yeah, I don't really know what to say with this chapter, apart from the fact that the weather has influenced it a lot. Again, sorry if it's too cheesy, especially the first bit, get ready to cringe, but I promise that I will get back to the main storyline next chapter.**

**Also, I have drawn a timeline in my little notebook to help me, I don't know if that's what you're supposed to do and I'm really stupid for not doing it in the first place, but now I have about 12 more chapters planned out and I hope I get there. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

Her eyelids flutter open and every part of her feels warm. Morgana becomes aware of someone huddled beside her, so she wriggles forwards slightly to get closer and more comfortable. Her eyes start to adjust to the light and she realises that the person is Merlin. He has one arm wound around her waist and the other curled around the back of her neck, pulling her into him. She sighs and revels in the calmness of the situation, until Merlin snorts himself awake, making her giggle.

"Hey," he whispers and she is disappointed when he removes his arms from her waist to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"Hey," Morgana whispers back and secretly smiles when the limb returns to it's previous spot. Silence claims them and she closes her eyes again, allowing herself to go back to sleep.

The next time she wakes up, she is alone and her body feels cold from Merlin's absence. She rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling, only now noticing that they had spent the remainder of the night sleeping on the floor. She sits up and stretches her arms out in front of her, hearing clanking and hissing sounds coming from the kitchen. She decides to go out and investigate and finds Merlin dancing around the kitchen with two mugs in his hands, already dressed. He turns, sensing her presence and gives a goofy grin.

"Hey, sleep head. Cup of tea?"

"I'd love one," she says and walks over to give him a hand. "Why are you in such a happy mood?"

"Have you _looked_ out of the window?"

She shakes her head and looks out into the garden, which is completely covered in white.

"Are we going to go out in it?" She sounds like a child, but she doesn't care.

"Well, unfortunately for me, it appears as though I won't be able to get into work this morning because of the _treacherous_ snowy conditions... Of course we are!" He laughs and she does a little dance on the spot. He motions to the two steaming mugs on th counter. "But first, we have to drink these."

"I'm knocking mine back like a shot."

Merlin raises an eyebrow. "Fair enough. Do you take sugar?"

"Yes, four please."

He stares at her.

"What? I'm cutting down," she insists as he hands her the cup and, true to her word, she downs the liquid in 10 seconds flat, without stopping.

"You must have the lung capacity of a whale."

"Thanks," she croaks. "Ow, I think I've burnt my throat."

"Well, shoving a load of boiling hot water down it was never going to be a good idea.

"Stop being so sarcastic Merlin, it doesn't suit you," she says in annoyance. "I'm going to get dressed."

"Put something warm on."

"Yes, Dad," she says hoarsely and he hears her coughing and spluttering all the way up the stairs.

She comes back down ten minutes later and looks as though she has gained about 4 inches around her waist.

"Morgana, we aren't going on an expedition to the Arctic."

"You told me to dress up warmly, so I did!" She retorts.

"Alright, calm down! You must be gad you brought what seems like enough clothes for another 5 people. Although, if you just..." he trails off and then pulls the woolly hat she had been wearing over her eyes. "Perfect."

"Thanks, Merlin," Morgana says flatly as she lifts the material back up again. "I didn't think I would need my wellies, though," she comments and wiggles the dark green pair on her feet for emphasis.

"Neither did I. Ready?" He asks as he puts on his coat and holds open the kitchen door, leading to the garden.

"Yep."

"After you," Merlin offers and she frowns at his devious smile.

"You're planning something," she tells him, as they walk down the non-existant path.

"Perhaps," he smirks and then scoops her up into his arms and starts running towards the deeper snow.

"Merlin, don't even think about it!" She tries to be angry but it doesn't work. She screams in delight as he throws her down into the cold, white stuff. She grabs a handful of snow and condenses it into a ball before throwing it at his face, but it skims his ear.

"That was pathetic!" He laughs and she tries to get up, but he pushes her back down and starts shovelling heaps of snow onto her. "Do you surrender?" Merlin asks as her holds a handful of snow directly above her face.

"Yes! Yes, I surrender!" She admits but he lets it fall onto her anyway and runs away as fast as he can. She stands up quickly and aims a snowball at his back, but he ducks and trips over his own feet in the process. He soon picks himself up and soon it has turned into a fully fledged war, with clumps of snow whirling through the air.

"I demand a ceasefire!" Merlin yells as another snowball hits him square on the nose.

"That's just because you know I'm winning!"

"You are not!" He retorts.

"Yes I am!" Morgana disagrees and holds her arm behind her head, ready to throw again.

"Alright! Alright, you win!" He says quickly and she grins.

"Now what?"

"Snowman competition!" Merlin shouts and starts rolling a big ball of snow together.

"What? What's that?"

"See who can make the best snowman," he calls as if it is the most obvious thing ever and she immediately starts to puts handfuls of snow together, not wanting him to get ahead.

They both manage to finish the body part at the same time, but when Merlin goes up to the other end of the garden to make the head, Morgana gives his a few sly kicks before he gets back.

"What have you done!?" Merlin yells in annoyance and runs back to try and build it back up again.

"Who, me? I didn't do anything!" Morgana exclaims.

"Yes you did!"

"You didn't say there were any rules, so..." she trails off with a smile.

"Well, in that case," Merlin says smugly and walks over to her snowman and before she can stop him, he stomps on it.

"I'm reporting you for snowman abuse!" She tells him and pushes him away as she attempts to salvage the remains.

"There's no such thing!"

"Yes there is! It's called Merlin-is-a-big-horrible-brute-who-killed-my-snowman!"

"Please give £3 a month to help this poor, innocent snowman from being crushed," Merlin adds.

"See, you've heard of it, too!" Morgana giggles and Merlin laughs breathlessly, the morning tiring him out. "Do you know what, Merlin?" She walks over to him and pulls him close, winding her arms around his neck.

"No," she says dumbly, their faces inches apart.

"You get distracted _far_ too easily," she smirks and before he has time to react, she shoves a bit of snow she had secretly been holding, down the back of his neck and then runs towards the house, squealing with laughter.

He stands there, stunned, as he watches her run down the path, trip over the boots that were too big for her anyway and face-plant into the snow.

* * *

"Well, that was fun."

"Yes, it was."

"I won the snowball fight," she says proudly.

"Fine," he says reluctantly. "I won at snowman building, though."

"I have snow all down my back now, thanks to you shoving it down my neck!"

"That's what you get for killing Aithusa!" She says defiantly.

"What?"

"That's what I named my snowman, before you _destroyed _it! Where is Aithusa, anyway? I haven't seen her for a while."

"Neither have I," he says calmly.

"Aren't you worried?"

"She'll come back when she's ready. Probably when she's pregnant with kittens or something."

Morgana turns to him, her eyes bright.

"Really?"

"No, not really," he says and she scowls at him. "Well, I hope not."

"Why? It would be cute!"

"Yes, cute but then I'd have to put up with 7 cats instead of 1! Aithusa's bad enough," he admits.

"I'd buy the kittens from you!" She grins.

"Yes, but you live here!"

"So?"

"I'm changing the subject!" Merlin yells and she laughs.

"Ok, then."

"Where did you learn to throw so well?" He asks.

"I don't know. But once I threw a snowball at this boy in my year and it hit him in the head and I knocked him unconscious."

"Morgana!"

"It was a provoked attack!" She explains. "He threw at snowball at my bum!"

"But still!" Merlin exclaims.

"I remember it bruised pretty badly."

"What, his head?"

She frowns. "No,my backside. I think Gwen had severe anxiety that day. Saying I could get arrested, blah, blah."

"And what did Arthur say?"

"Something about throwing it harder next time," she says casually.

"I don't think I want to meet your brother."

"Nah, he's okay. Just a bit overprotective," she smiles.

"I guess that's a good thing, though."

"Yeah...No! Merlin, why are you putting on 'The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas?"

"It's a good film," he shrugs and then holds the TV remote up high so that she can't reach it.

"I'll cry," Morgana threatens.

"So will I."

She manages to make it to the last 10 minutes of the film, before she cringes and runs out of the room.

"I can't watch it," Morgana calls from the hallway.

"It's finished now," Merlin tells her a few minutes later and she comes in with red eyes and wet cheeks. "You didn't even watch it and you still cried?"

"Yes, but I know what happens!" Morgana says and then flumps down on the sofa next to him. "You're a bastard for making me watch that."

"Don't swear, it doesn't suit your angelic features."

"Really?" She turns to him, suddenly interested. "Angelic features?"

"Yes, you are a rather attractive woman."

She raises an eyebrow. "_Rather_ attractive?"

"Fine, beautiful,then."

She smiles at the compliment and looks out of the window.

"Thank you."

"I'm only telling the truth," Merlin says, matter-of-factly.

"You should do that more often. Any other confessions you'd like to make?" She asks with a grin.

"Confessions? Oh, I do have _one_..."

"Really? What is it?"

"I have this massive crush on someone, at the moment," he whispers.

She gives a dramatic gasp. "So have I!"

"Oh? Are you going to tell me who it is?"

"Nope," she laughs. "You have to guess."

"Gwaine?" Merlin suggests.

"No! I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

He panics. "No."

"Yes! Come on, it's fun!"

"No!"

Yes! Right, we'll both say it at the same time! Ready?"

"Er, yep."

"You," they both say at the same time.

**Ugh, such a bad cliffhanger and probably the worst chapter EVER, but nevermind! It was really fun to write, especially the snowy stuff, and I hope you liked reading it. **

**As you might imagine, I am quite worried as to how you take to this chapter, eg, it's too soon or GET THEM INTO BED TOGETHER! I don't know, so please review and tell me - I'm not a mind reader, so if you don't tell me your thoughts then I won't know. **

**Any ways to improve, ideas and praise (although unlikely) is very welcome.**

**PS. Anyone who is up to writing me a new summary for this story will be loved forever because I'm terrible at writing them! So, if anyone could come up with a better one, please message me it!**

**Thank you for reading! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, so the reason this is up so late is because I changed my mind about 50 times with this chapter. It's hideously short, but I have a feeling you might enjoy it, even if you throw up from fluffiness - I said I would stop but i can't help it...**

**WOW REVIEWS! I think I got 7 or 8 for the last chapter and I honestly nearly cried, although it was probably down to the fact that I put about them sleeping together, you filthy-minded people! (JOKE) Erm, where was I, oh yes, it is horrificly short, but I do hope you like it, if you don't then there's no point in me writing it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. ****If I did he would be tied to my bed.**

"I was joking," he lies.

"Yeah, er, me too."

"As if I'd ever..." he trails off.

"I know! As if we'd ever.."

"I know!" He laughs falsely and they both turn away from each other. She gazes at something fascinating out of the window that only she can see and he twiddles his thumbs for the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of his life.

"I'll just go and make some lunch, then," he says quickly and races out of the room.

She sits there in silence. Maybe he didn't like her after all, maybe he was just saying it to be polite. But how does that explain the constant flirting between them? Maybe she was just imagining it, the quirky remarks and silly arguments. She sighs and then gives a wicked grin. She was sure she could come up with a few ways to find out.

"So, how was your first day?"

"Okay, thanks."

"What about colleagues?"

"Mostly alright," she shrugs and follows his voice to the living room.

"Mostly?"

She sits down next to him. "Ugh, there's this perv, Agravaine, who doesn't know the difference between my eyes and my chest."

Merlin shudders. "Great."

"Yeah, well, he kept getting me cups of coffee so I didn't really mind."

He rolls his eyes. "You're a terrible woman."

"No, I just know how to get men to do what I want," she says with a knowing smile.

"Oh, how very subtle," Merlin says sarcastically and she laughs. "What could you _possibly _want me to do?"

"Come ice-skating with me?"

"Ice-skating? Where the hell are we going to do that?"

She grins. "You know that Eastwood Manor House place?" He nods. "Well, it's something like their 75th year of being open to the public or whatever and they've put up an ice-rink to celebrate..."

He sighs, determined not to give in.

"Please, Merlin?"

He gives in. "Fine, but if I get injured it's your fault!"

"Yay!" She squeals like an excited child. "I'll quickly go and get changed."

He stares at her in disbelief. "What we're going now? But it's 7 o'clock in the evening!"

"So? It'll still be open!"

"Okay, you win," he says in defeat.

"I knew I could persuade you," she adds cheekily and runs out of the room before he can argue.

* * *

"Now, if you just put one foot in front of the other, then you should be fine," Morgana instructs him as he wobbles towards her.

"I don't think ice-skating is really my thing," Merlin admits.

"No, me neither. Have you ever been before?" She asks.

"Twice?"

"And?"

"The first time I dislocated my shoulder and the second time, this little girl fell over and got her fingers sliced off by somebody else's skates."

She visibly cringes. "So, good past experiences, then?" She mocks and they link arms to go around the rink together. It isn't too busy, just a group of teenagers whizzing around, showing off. The place looks beautiful, with candles set up in various points. It has started to snow lightly.

"Oh, yes, definitely. What about you? I expect you've been loads of times, seeing as you can actually stand upright."

"Only once, it was me, Arthur and Gwen. I remember Arthur kept getting in my way, so I pushed him over and his knee was so bruised it looked like a rainbow."

Merlin laughs and she smiles at the sound. "Where does Arthur work, anyway? You told me about Gwen working in the hospital, but not him."

"He's on leave from Afghanistan at the moment," she says, her happiness fading. "Helping Uther sort out of his business. Or trying to. He has to go back again in 6 months," Morgana explains.

"You must worry about him."

"I do. Not as much as Gwen does, though," she sighs.

"Gwen?"

"Well, yes she is his girlfriend."

Merlin frowns. "Is she? Since when?"

"Since I walked into her flat 2 years ago and found them kissing on the sofa," she says quickly, "now come on, I want to go faster!" She skates ahead and waits for him to catch up.

"Faster? But we -WOAH!" He slips as she makes a grab for his hand to pull him towards her and lands flat on his back. Morgana bursts out laughing and he groans in pain as she helps him to his feet.

"Thanks a lot," he wheezes, the fall knocking the wind out of him.

"Your welcome," she looks over at the group of sniggering teenagers. "Come on, we'll show them!"

"No, Morgana, what are you-"

He tries to stop her as she races towards them, dragging him with her. The group's faces quickly turn from laughter to fear and they scatter as the duo skate rapidly towards them and then turn away at the last moment. Morgana only laughs as they leave the rink and yell abuse at them.

"Good, now we have it all to ourselves," she says and she is right - it is just the two of them.

"So," Merlin starts as they begin to do laps of the rink again. "Is Uther your father?"

"No."

"Oh."

"He's sort of like my step-father, except we're not related. He just looks after me."

"So is Arthur really your brother or not?"

She shakes her head. "But he's annoying enough to be one so that must count for something."

"Right, and Arthur is Uther's son?"

"Yes."

"And your mother is-"

"Was," Morgana cuts in. "Her name was Vivienne."

"Okay, so who's your father?"

"It's complicated," she lies, because it isn't.

"Do you want to talk about something else?" He asks and she nods. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Something nice."

He looks her up and down in the old, scruffy jeans and jacket. If anyone could pull it off, she could.

"You look lovely," Merlin compliments and she laughs.

"What, even though my nose is so cold it's going pink?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Merlin."

They have stopped skating now and are just stood in the middle of the rink. She grabs hold of his jumper and pulls him closer, smiling down at the tips of their skates as they knock together.

"You're welcome," he whispers and gently presses his lips against hers. Her hands come up to rest on his shoulders and his settle around her waist. When they finally break apart, he gives her the cutest, goofiest, yet confused grin she has ever seen.

**Well, they kissed! This is actually the first kissing scene I've ever written, haha so innocent, so please tell me how I did! **

**Thank you all for reading, following, favouriting and reviewing - any ideas, ways to improve and things I'm doing right - if anything - are welcome!**

**Oh, and to the person who asked, yes, Alvarr will be making some future appearances. (Evil Laugh.)**

**Pip pip, cheerio! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Next chapter! As I said, I will try to update every week, but I can't promise, so you'll have to bare with me. I have severe writer's block at the moment and it's killing me because it's my week off from school and I can't think of anything.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

It had been 3 days since the "incident", as Merlin was calling it, and neither of them had spoken about it. He knew she wanted to talk about it, but everything just seemed to be so awkward. Especially as she lived with him, there was nowhere to hide, they kept bumping into each other and always ended up making unnecessary skin contact, like both reaching for something at the same time.

He had hoped that, in time, she would forget about it, just a silly mistake made by the _both _of them. Because she had kissed back. Her warm lips had pushed back against his and it had felt amazing. He smiles at the very thought and then frowns at the irresistible urge to kiss her again, what with her constantly being so close. Going to work was a relief and when she wasn't "shooting down enemy planes" as the joke went, they seemed to go everywhere and do everything together.

Merlin sighs and stirs his tea more thoroughly. He turns to go and find the sugar that was hopefully somewhere in the kitchen, but Morgana appears in the doorway and stops him, pushing him back against the counter and slamming their lips together. His eyes widen in surprise, but quickly close again in sensation as he pulls her closer. Her hands are fisted in his t-shirt and his grab her waist. He switches their positions and lifts her up onto the worktop, giving him a better angle to kiss her. She lets out a small groan and her knees lock around his hips as his finger tangle themselves in her long, dark hair. They pull back, panting and about to go again when a loud pounding on the front door interrupts them.

"I'll get it," Morgana murmurs into his ear and slides down off of the counter.

Merlin stands there, stunned. Had that really just happened? His mind whirls with answered questions as he hears the door open. There is a shriek and then an "oomph."

He wanders out into the hallway to find Morgana tightly hugging a blonde haired man. Unexpected jealousy creeps into him and he stamps down on it quickly; he is being ridiculous.

Morgana seems to finally sense his presence and steps away from the visitor with a huge smile on her face. Has she completely forgotten what had _just_ happened?

"Arthur, this is Merlin," she introduces them cautiously. "He's been letting me stay with him."

So this was him. Arthur Pendragon. The soldier on leave from Afghanistan. Morgana's 'brother' and Gwen's boyfriend. Merlin pieced together the tiny bits of information Morgana had given him to try and create some mental fact file. 'Helps Uther with business' was added to the list before he reached out to shake Arthur's hand. He was very... masculine. The sort of movie star guy girls probably fantasized about - tanned and muscly. Everything he wasn't. He couldn't help but think that Morgana had probably once wished they weren't like siblings. _Anyway._

"Oh, er, come in," Merlin says suddenly.

"So, you're Morgana's friend?" Arthur asks as he sits down right where Merlin had wanted to sit - next to Morgana.

"Oh, yeah, that's me."

"You don't sound very convinced," Arthur says and Merlin laughs slightly. "I can't really blame you. I don't know how you've put up with her for the past 2 weeks or so."

Morgana hits him on the arm. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, really?" The blonde asks with a knowing smile. "Remember the time when you-"

"Arthur, was there actually a reason to you coming round here or was it just to embarrass me?"

"A bit of both," he admits. "But mainly to annoy you. Now, Gwen said something about you splitting up with Alvarr and she also mentioned to irritate you - as I'm doing now - for not ringing her back the other day. So, go on then. Tell me the gossip!"

Merlin takes this as his cue to leave and says "I can, you know, go... if you want."

Morgana looks up at him and shakes her head. "No, stay. I'm probably going to need help in restraining him soon." She points to Arthur.

"What's the man done now?" He asks impatiently.

"Well, basically he's an alcoholic and I've just found out that he's been involved with drugs," she says bluntly.

"The little shit."

"Uh-huh," she agrees half-heartedly.

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"At the time, I guess. I slapped him," she shrugs.

"I'll flaming kill him if I see him," Arthur promises quietly.

"I really don't care anymore," Morgana admits. "I never really liked him much anyway."

"Then why the hell were you with him for so long?"

She rolls her eyes. "You know why."

"Is this about the deal thing with his parents? For Christ's sakes, you should have just left him, Uther would've had to put up with it. It's his mess," Arthur says, anger rising.

"It wasn't that easy," she tells him and Merlin frowns, this was a part of the story he hadn't heard before.

"How come?" He butts in suddenly and Morgana and Arthur stare at him, obviously forgetting he was in the room with them. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay," Arthur says and then repeats the question. "Why wasn't it that easy?"

Morgana chews on her thumb nail and shakes her head.

"Well, if you're not going to tell us, then we're going to have to guess."Arthur says. "Um, he didn't let you leave?"

"No."

"He threatened you?"

"No."

"He was using you?"

"No. Look, Arthur-"

"He hurt you?"

Merlin sees her stiffen. "No."

"He raped you?"

"Arthur!" Morgana yells. "I don't care what you think of him, we both know he wouldn't do something like that!"

"Well, if you would just tell me then I wouldn't have to guess!" He shouts angrily.

"He did hurt you, didn't he?" Merlin says gently.

"Morgana?"

"It would explain the dream she had a few days ago."

"What dream?"

"Well-"

"Would you both please shut up for a minute?" Morgana demands and they do. "Merlin, you were right - he has been hurting me. And Arthur, a few nights ago I woke up screaming from a nightmare in which Alvarr had been trying to hit me. So, there you have it. Yet again, I have screwed up with my choice of men. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going upstairs," she blurts out and runs out of the room.

* * *

He finds her in his room, lying on the bed and clutching a pillow tightly to her chest, her back to him.

"Knock knock," he says quietly, but she doesn't move. "Morgana, I know you're awake."

"Leave me alone," she says thickly, so he does exactly the opposite. He walks round to face her and crouches down.

"Was Alvarr really hurting you?"

Her expression hardens. "You think I'm making it up?"

"No, no of course not," Merlin says quickly. "I just wondered... How long?"

"Does it matter?"

"I guess not."

She sits up. "Where's Arthur?"

"He went home. He said sorry if he made you upset. I'm sorry, too."

"For what?"

He sighs. "Just things."

"Like when you kissed me at the ice-rink."

"Yeah."

"So you remember it then?" Morgana raises an eyebrow and says in a mock surprised voice. "Well, that's funny because for the past few days you haven't mentioned it. I was beginning to wonder if it had happened at all. So I thought I'd try kissing you today, to see if it was a memorable experience or not."

"Oh." So that's what that was about.

"You see, Merlin, I'm really confused. Take it from my point of view. You flirt with me. You say you have a crush on me. You say that you were joking. You kiss me. Then you act like it never happened."

"I'm only acting like it didn't happen because I think you deserve better," he says in a miserable tone.

"It's my life. I get to decide who I like."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she says gently and then moves over a bit, before lying down again. "Room for a big one."

"Thanks," Merlin laughs and joins her on the bed. "You're cold," he states with a look of concern as he wraps his arms around her.

"Maybe you should warm me up then," she says with a smirk, so he rolls her onto her back and starts kissing her again.

**Wooo, that felt like a long chapter, but it probably wasn't.**

**Okay, so I only added in the kiss right at the end, so this probably didn't make sense, but I hope you enjoyed it! I got them to sleep together, yay, another decision I made about 2 minutes ago, but it felt like the right time, heh, I don't know!**

**Arthur was fun to write and now he's in the story, I can tick him off the list.**

**Please tell me what you think and thank you for reading! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for your lovely reviews! Just a quick little update before I get to drop the bombshell...hehehe. I think you're going to hate me, but never mind Oh, and I made Morgana go a bit Disney half way through.**

**Does this need a higher rating?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. But then again, neither does anyone on this site, so it's kind of expected.**

"Last night was..."

"Yeah, it was," she says happily and cuddles further into his chest. He combs her hair through with his fingers, enjoying the way the dark strands glide over his skin, while the other hand traces warm patterns onto her cool back.

"You don't have any regrets, do you?" Merlin asks her nervously.

"No," she laughs. "Only perhaps that we didn't do it sooner."

He smiles his relief. "I wasn't too bad, was I?"

Morgana props herself up on her elbow. "absolutely appalling. In fact," she moves to sit on his stomach, "I think we might have to do it all over again. You know, just to see if you get any better."

He grins sheepishly up at her. "As much as I'd _love_ to prove myself to you, I can't." He sits up with her still holding onto his shoulders. "I have to go to work soon."

She pouts. "Why don't you ring in sick?"

"Because I'm not ill."

"You're boring," she huffs. "They didn't need me in today, so we could've spent the _whole_ day together."

"I'm beginning to think you're a bad influence on me," he chuckles and pushes her gently from his lap.

"Where are you going?" She asks, watching in amusement as he starts to pick up discarded items of clothing that were scattered around the room.

"To have a shower."

"Maybe I should come in with you," she suggests with a knowing smile. "It would help to save water."

"Yeah, you could do the washing up while you're in there," he says and laughs when she pulls a face at him. Then he gives her a quick kiss on the forehead and disappears into the bathroom. She is left sat on the edge of the bed, swinging her pale legs back and forth. She brings her hand up to her mouth, her fingers fiddling with her lips and giggles suddenly. Last night had been incredible and she hadn't even had to pretend. Merlin was better in one night than Alvarr had been in dozens - Okay, new rule: She would stop comparing Merlin to Alvarr. One, because there was really no reason to do so. And two, because it wasn't really fair for Merlin to be compared to an alcoholic drug dealer.

She gives a contented sigh and looks around the room; it looked like a bomb had hit it. Reminded of last nights antics, she smiles to herself and hears the shower start whirring. Maybe she should get dressed. She quickly locates her underwear and slips it back on and a t-shirt which had previously belonged to Merlin, but was now claimed by her.

He pokes his head around the door a few moments later, his hair wet and sticking up all over the place.

"Have you seen my black shirt?"

Morgana points to the one she is wearing. "This one?"

"No, the button-up one," he says with a frown. "Ah, there it is."

Merlin walks into the room, wearing only a pair of jeans, and over to a dark shirt lying next to her. Before he can pick it up, she snatches it away and hides it behind her back.

His eyes meet hers in challenge. "Give it back."

"But I much prefer you with out it," she tells him, a finger stroking lightly down his chest. He shudders, she smirks.

"I'm not sure the customers will see it that way."

"No? That's a shame," she says, not really paying any attention and mainly focussing on drawing shapes over his stomach.

"Morgana."

"Hmm?"

"Please give me my shirt back."

She kisses the tip of his nose and shakes her head with a smile. "Nope."

"Pretty please?"

She rolls her eyes at him. "Fine, but you have to catch me first," she says and makes a bolt for the doorway, the shirt still in her hand. Merlin manages to intercept her as she tries to run past him and she squeals with laughter as he grabs her around the waist, pulling her back to him.

"Let go!" She yells, slapping at his hands as she tries to struggle free, but then he starts to tickle her and she crumples to the floor, screaming for him to stop but he doesn't. At one point, she breaks out of his grasp and makes a run for the bed, climbing onto it and holding the shirt aloft.

She laughs in triumph as he makes a grab for it and trips over the corner of the bed, almost falling flat on his face. He picks himself up and tackles her around waist, rugby style, sending them both crashing down onto the soft mattress.

"Well, this is a very promising position," Morgana notes as he leans over her.

"Indeed," Merlin agrees and gives her a fleeting kiss, one that she doesn't have time to try and deepen. He gently tugs the shirt from her hand and pulls it on over his back while she does the buttons up on the front, kissing him lightly on the lips every time one is fastened.

"Thanks," he whispers.

"You're welcome."

They both stand and she hands him a jacket.

"Have fun," she says in an amused tone.

"Oh, I will. I swear to God, if I get one more 20 year old woman coming in demanding information about Series 3 of Sherlock, I'll do something drastic," he rants and she laughs.

"See you later."

"Yep, see you," he turns to walk out of the bedroom door.

"Oh, and Merlin," she stops him to face again, because she realises that neither of them have said it yet. "I love you."

He goes back and embraces her tightly. "I love you, too."

"That's good then," she laughs. "Now...go. You don't want to be late. Again."

"Yeah," he breathes, his infectious grin nearly reaching his ears. "See you soon."

The moment she hears the front door open and then close again, she runs down the stairs, finds Aithusa on the sofa and picks her up, whirling them both around the living room. Morgana squealing in delight and Aithusa meowing loudly in protest.

"It's finally happening! He loves me! Did you hear that?" Morgana asks in a sing-song voice. Aithusa looks at her like she wants to bite her head off – well, she had been asleep, the poor cat.

"It's so wonderful!" Morgana continues, but then stops. "Do you think it's too soon? I mean, I've only just split up with Alvarr! What if Merlin thinks it's too soon?" She flumps down on the sofa, suddenly dizzy from spinning around, Aithusa still in her arms. "Aithusa, you're supposed to be answering these questions!"

The cat just stares at her like she's gone mad.

Maybe she has.

She is asking for advice from a cat.

* * *

"Wait! Don't come in yet!"

"Morgana, what..." he trails off as she rushes out to meet him at the door.

"Just wait, no, no hang on, it's probably easier if you just close your eyes," Morgana instructs and his eyes flutter closed.

"Okay, can we go in now?" Merlin asks uncertainly as he wanders about like a blind man.

"Yes, but no peeking!" She says and entwines their hands to guide him into the kitchen. He feels himself be pushed down into a chair.

"You can open them now," she says a bit dejectedly.

"Oh, wow."

She has decorated the room with dozens of candles, illuminating the whole kitchen with a yellowish glow.

I'm really sorry," Morgana says miserably.

"What? Why?"

"Well, I was trying to make this pasta and tomato thing because I wanted do something for you. You've already done so much for me and I wanted it to be special," she rambles on.

"You don't have to do that," he sighs.

"I know, but I wanted to and then..."

"And then what?"

"Are you supposed to put metal spoons in a microwave?"

"No."

"Oh, so that's why it exploded," Morgana mutters.

"Oh dear," Merlin comments and then bursts out laughing.

She looks up at him, curious. "Aren't you angry?"

"No," he chuckles, "I just find it strange that an intelligent woman such as yourself didn't know about metal in microwaves."

She allows herself to smile at her own stupidity. "It did go off with a rather loud bang."

"I'm sure it did! You weren't near it when it exploded were you?"

"No, but it still scared the life out of me."

"So, what are we eating then?"

"I can do a mean beans on toast..."

**Phew, another one done. I know I don't update as often as some people but I try and keep up. Anywho! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, because I needed something in between the last chapter and the next... *EVIL LAUGH***

**Oh yes, chapter 11 will probably make you hate me XD. Can you guess?**

**Any improvements or comments are welcome! Even if it's just to tell me you like/don't like it or to tell me to update. :D**

**Thank you for reading! xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry, this chapter took a while, but it felt like a big one considering what happens. I hope you don't hate me for it, but please tell me if you do. **

**Does this need a higher rating? I think I asked last chapter too, but if you think so then please say!**

**Thank you for the reviews! I love reading them - I get these alert things as e-Mails on my phone and usually do a little dance when I get one! :D Thank you to everyone who is continuing to read and persevere with this story - it means a lot!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

Morgana feels sick. She hates herself. She wants to scream and hide away so that no-one can ever find out. Especially Merlin. Gwen. Arthur. She thinks of how disgusted her brother would be with her now. How Gwen would comfort her, concealing her true opinions with a mask. And Merlin... she didn't know. She'd never seen him angry before and that's what terrified her the most. His reaction was completely unknown to her. He might ignore her. Or cry. Or shout at her for being so stupid. Tell her to leave.

The last idea makes the bile rise up in her throat again and she runs to the toilet, her stomach emptying it's contents for the fifth time that morning.

She staggers back to the kitchen, falling into her chair.

"I'm back!" Merlin calls cheerfully as the front door shuts behind him and she hates herself all over again.

"Hey," she says flatly.

"Woah, what happened to you?" He asks in a more serious tone, pulling out a chair to sit next to her. "Are you okay?"

"Not really. I feel ill."

"Do you feel sick?"

"Been there, done that."

"I'll get you a drink," Merlin tells her and a few moments later a glass of water is put down in front of her.

"Thanks."

"So, what do you think it is? Food poisoning or something? You might just have caught a tummy bug, loads of people are getting them at the moment."

For a split second, she considers lying to him. She could always wait a few months and tell him it's his.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

He smiles at her and she feels like killing herself. This isn't fair. On anyone.

"Maybe you should go back to bed, get some rest?"

"Okay," she agrees, her voice a whisper. She goes to stand, but the room starts spinning and she grips the table for support.

Merlin pushes her back down into the chair to try and steady her, but she only forces him back so that she can rush to the toilet again, the familiar burning sensation building up at the back of her throat.

After, she goes to walk back into the kitchen, but Merlin steers her into the living room before she can object.

"How many times have you done that today?"

"About six, maybe seven."

"Try not to do it again."

"I'm not making any promises."

He presses his cool palm against her clammy forehead. "Maybe we should take you to the doctor's."

"No! I mean, we don't want to waste their time. It's probably nothing," Morgana says quickly, if she got any medical attention they would only tell her what she already knew.

"We wouldn't be wasting anyone's time! You've thrown up seven times-"

"Six."

"Alright, six. You're pale, dizzy and shivering. You're in a bad state!"

"I'm _fine_," she says firmly, clenching and unclenching her fists in her lap.

"No you aren't. I'm going to ring and make an appointment."

"But-"

"No buts. Now, sit down while I go and ring them."

* * *

"It appears," the doctor begins after a few tests and examinations. "That you are indeed pregnant. Congratulations to you both."

She hangs her head in shame, a sickening feeling taking over her body. He thinks that the child is Merlin's. And apparently Merlin does, too.

"Thank you!" Merlin says a bit too enthusiasticly as her reaches over to shake the doctor's hand. "Thank you very much!"

She stares at him. Surely he must know it isn't his.

They drive home in silence.

"Merlin, you do know that-"

"Oh for God's sake, don't people know how to indicate?" Merlin yells as a red car suddenly pulls across them.

"Merlin, please just-"

"Don't you just hate it when people do that? It makes me wonder how they even got their liscence in the first place," he mutters, interupting her again."

"My father died in a car accident."

"I'm sorry."

He continues to interupt her as she tries to talk to him until they get back to the house.

He sits her down on the sofa with a hot chocolate and some hot water bottles.

"Can we talk?" Morgana asks him as he busies himself by tidying the room.

"What's there to talk about?" He answers with another question as some 'Doctro Who' boxsets are shoved roughly against the wall.

"The fact that I'm pregnant."

"Ah, of course," he turns to her with a strange smile. "It must have slipped my mind."

She lowers her gaze to the floor as he continues his work. "You do know... you know the baby isn't yours, don't you?"

"Of course. We used contraception and only slept together five days ago. It would be weird for you to be having these symptons now."

"Right, well-"

"Oh, no. I'm not the father! The abusive, drug-dealing alcoholic is! That will look good at school on the family trees! I can imagine the conversations now! 'My dad's a fireman. What does your dad do?' 'Oh, mine died of a heroin overdose!'" Merlin fumes. He has stopped tidying now and is pacing back and forth.

"Will you just stop it?" Morgana retorts, jumping to her feet. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm not particularly happy about this either!"

"No? Well, what are you going to do about it then? Get rid of it?"

"You know I can't do that," she whispers, her shoulders slumping.

"What are you going to do then? Keep it? I really don't mind, Morgana, it's entirely up to you! It's your problem not mine!"

"But I don't _know_ what to do! Why can't you just tell me?" She pleads with him, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

"You really want to know what I think?" Merlin begins angrily. "I think that this is all some big joke to you. That you set this all up, just to hurt me."

"We both know that's not true."

"Isn't it? How about when we slept together? Did that mean anything? No? Well, thanks for the one-night stand Morgana, you were really great." He rages.

At this point, she slaps him. Because he is being so unreasonable and it isn't fair. She turns to leave the room, but Merlin grabs her arm and pulls her back to him, his arms quickly going around her waist to hold her there. She buries her face into his chest while he buries his into her hair.

"I didn't mean it. I'm sorry," he whispers desperately. "I love you. You know that. You can't change it either. Please, Morgana. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. Please, just..."

"Just what?"

"I don't know," Merlin admits. "I really don't know."

**DUN DUN DUN. Don't hate me. I nearly didn't do this because I felt too evil, but yeah, I'm sorry. I hope it was a good twist - well not good, but you know what I mean - to the story.**

**Please review, as I am EXTREMELY anxious to hear your thoughts and things to improve on!**

**Thank you for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**The response to the last chapter was awesome! I was going to do some sort of poll where the readers could say whether the wanted me to carry on with the original storyline or change it, but decided against it. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and enjoy reading it. Improvements are welcome, as are any other comments!**

**Also, see if you can Spot-the-Sherlock-Quote! It's a bit obvious, but hey.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

They had fallen asleep, but now she is awake and wondering why her and Merlin had slept on the sofa in the first place. Her head aches and her eyes are sore and itching, like she has been crying. But why?

She huffs and rolls closer to Merlin. She blinks as the memories return. It is like waking up at a friend's house, wondering where you are and then remembering and getting that safe feeling.

Except she doesn't feel safe at all. She feels more vulnerable than she's ever been before. What with that... _thing_ inside her.

She inwardly kicks herself at her cruel thoughts.

This wasn't the baby's fault. Only hers. And Alvarr's. But not Merlin's.

He is still asleep, his chest gently rising and falling. His grip around her waist is so tight his nails dig into her skin, like he is afraid of letting go.

She doesn't mind. Her grip on his t-shirt is equally tight, her fingers fisted in the soft, dark material. Her eyelids start to droop again as some kind of mental and physical exhaustion washes over her, so close to sleep again.

Merlin suddenly jerks awake next to her and her eyes snap open. He sits up, rubbing his eyes.

"What time is it?" He asks with a groan.

"Oh, um." She glances up at the clock. "Half nine."

"You're kidding, right?" Merlin looks at her in disbelief.

"No."

"Shit." He scrambles around for his jacket and trainers.

"What is it?" Morgana, asks confused.

"I was supposed to be at work half and hour ago," he rambles on, rushing around the room.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault," she apologizes, picking at one of the cushions.

"No, no it's fine," he corrects her and kisses her quickly. "Try not to throw up this morning."

"Don't worry, I don't feel like I'm going to chuck up my intestines today."

"You had me at hello," Merlin jokes and she finds herself laughing.

"You aren't wearing your work shirt," she tells him as he goes to walk out of the living room.

Oh, right. Do you know where it is?" He looks around, slightly breathless.

"Coffee table," she directs him and he scoops up the red material.

"You're a star," he compliments. "You'll be alright on your own, won't you? I mean, I can always-"

"Merlin, please, just go. I'll be fine, I'm not made of glass," Morgana just about manages to convince him.

"Okay, er, see you later," he rushes and nearly runs out of the front door.

That had gone... better than expected. After last nights 'argument', she had still expected him to be angry. She couldn't really blame him.

His girlfriend, (well, she assumed she still was) was pregnant with a man they both hated.

She sighs, her fingers rubbing her forehead. How he could be so upset and yet appear so happy at the same time, she did not know. Or maybe he wasn't upset. Maybe she needed to stop overthinking things. Maybe. Probably.

Aithusa makes an appearance, slinking in through the door and rubbing herself against her ankles.

"Hey, cat," Morgana greets her, picking her up and placing her on her lap, the warm, greyish fur soothing to her fingertips. "What am I going to do, eh? What do you think I should do?" She asks but Aithusa just purrs.

"Ugh, everything's just so complicated," she goes on. "Because Merlin probably hates me. And I have to tell Arthur and Gwen and everyone and it's just, I don't want to," she groans resting her head against Aithusa's head.

She nearly falls asleep again, she is so tired. Aithusa seems to be in the same kind of mood and soon both have given in and are curled up on the sofa, a blanket pulled around them.

A loud knocking on the front door interrupts them, Morgana grumbling about people never leaving her alone and couldn't she just get some peace and quiet? She eventually heaves herself off of the sofa, opening the front door to a man she hadn't expected to see.

"Uther, um, come in."

* * *

"But you can't fire me!" Merlin insists to his boss, Cenred. "Please, I know I'm late, but I really need this job!"

"If you need it so much, then why don't you come in when I ask you to? It's not hard, Merlin. You come in, _on time_, stack some shelves, tell people where certain CDs are, work on the tills at the checkout. It's really very simple," Cenred drawls in a patronising tone.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I'm having trouble at home," Merlin attempts, fidgeting uncomfortably in his chair.

"Not my problem!" Cenred tells him.

"I know that, but please?" I'm your best worker!"

"Why don't you work when you're told, then? No, no I'm sorry, but I can't keep you on any longer. You know where the door is."

"Okay," Merlin says quietly, picking up his jacket to leave.

* * *

Morgana wrings her hands nervously as she leads Uther into the living room.

"So, erm, how did you know I was here?"

"Arthur told me."

"Oh. Oh, right."

"Don't worry, Morgana, I'm not stalking you," Uther says with a smile.

"Of course," she laughs, slightly nervously. "So, why are you here? Arthur send you to check up on me?"

"Partly, yes. But I also came to check up on this man you're staying with. Oh, what's his name again?"

"Merlin?"

"Yes, that's the one. The pixie boy with the big ears, or so Arthur says," Uther comments and she suppresses a scowl.

"So, this is his house?" He asks with a slight look of disgust on his face as he inspects the untidy room.

"Yes."

"And I take it he has been gracious enough to let you sleep in his bed, while he sleeps elsewhere?"

_Well, actually he's been generous to let us _both_ sleep in his bed_, Morgana thinks to herself, but maybe it isn't the best thing to say to her strict 'father'.

"Well, I insisted that I sleep on the sofa, since it's only fair that he's letting me stay with him."

"I see," Uther remarked. "And when did you meet him?"

"About... about two and a half weeks ago."

"So, in conclusion," Uther explains. "You met a man called Merlin in- Where did you meet him?"

"In a pub."

She finds herself irritated at Uther's disapproving sigh. "You met a man, in a pub, then the next day you moved in with him- "

"And now we're solving crimes together," Morgana interrupts and then starts giggling.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head. If Merlin had been here, he would've laughed too.

Uther clears his throat. "If you say so."

"Sooo. How's your, um, business going?" Morgana asks him.

"Well, this is another one of the reasons why I came. You know me and Arthur went up to meet Alvarr's parents about them signing the deal?"

"Y-yes," Morgana stammers.

"They refused to."

"Oh?"

"Said they got a phonecall from Alvarr a few days before telling them not to sign it. Do you have any idea on why he would've done that? And why are staying with Merlin in the first place?"

"Uh, well, to start with, Alvarr and I have split up so that might answer your first question," she says slowly, studying Uther's face for a reaction.

"Why did you split up with him?" He frowns.

"That's none of your business," she says, a stubborn look passing over her features.

"It is. It's my job to look after you and make sure you're okay," Uther states.

"Well, I'm not telling you."

"Fine," he sighs. "Have you got a job yet?"

"Yes, well, I did, but, I was working in an office. But then they fired me."

"Fired you? What on Earth for?"

"Oh, just something to do with me accidentally sitting on a photocopier," Morgana explains, waving her hand dismissively.

Uther raises his eyebrows at her. "And was it _accidentally _printed as well?"

"Maybe. But I was dared to."

"And what about Merlin? Does he have a job?" Uther asks, ignoring the last remark.

"Yes, he does. He works in HMV, actually. He's very good at his job and he even-"

"Well, would you believe it? They've bloody well gone and fired me!" Merlin yells as he storms into the room. "It's ridiculous! I mean, I know I've been - whoa, erm hello..." he trails off as he sees Uther.

"Hello. Merlin, isn't it?" Uther begins.

"Yeaaah."

He stands. "Well, lovely to see you Morgana. Maybe we can talk again another time?"

"Yep, okay. See you later."

**A bit of a boring chapter, I'm afraid. But I just needed some kind of filler chapter till next week and bonus Uther :D**

**Um, I know this wasn't particularly interesting but heh, you know, I tried my best!**

**Leave me a review if you feel like it, but not much happened so I can't blame you if you don't!**

**Oh, and also I might make the next chapter go up to an M rated, not because of any smut (haha, sorry :P) but, well, you'll see!**

**Thank you for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Please, no-one hate me for this chapter. I had always planned that this would happen.**

**Anyone who reads this, please tell me whether it should be M rated or not, so I can fix it ASAP. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

**Warning: Ranting Gwen. And that something bad happens pretty much now.**

"Merlin?"

He pops his head around the bedroom door.

"Yep?" He frowns, coming in to sit on the bed next to her. "What it is?"

"I don't feel well."

"Morning sickness?" He suggests.

"No. It's not like that."

"What is it like, then?"

She blushes. "Well, I went to the toilet and-"

His face is so deadly serious, she gets the sudden urge to laugh.

"And there was... blood."

"You're sure?"

She nods. "Positive."

He sits back, confusion evident on his face. "But... can't you, can't some women still have - you know - when they're pregnant?"

"Exactly, _some_. But not many," Morgana starts chewing on the skin around her thumb.

"Was there much blood?"

"Yeah, there was - ah!" She gasps out, clutching at her stomach.

Merlin grips her shoulders bringing her to her feet.

"Can you walk?"

"How far?" She counters, through gritted teeth.

"Only to the car."

"What? Where are we going?"

"To the doctor's," Merlin says, trying to persuade her out of the door.

"Can we wait? Please, can we just.." she whispers, trailing off and groaning, burying her head in to his shoulder.

He nods, gently guiding her back down onto the bed and brushing her dark hair out of her pale face.

"You look awful."

She attempts what looks like a smile. "Thanks."

"Welcome. Do you want me to ring and see if we can get a doctor to come here? I don't want you getting any worse."

"That would be great. I don't think walking is such a good idea at the moment," Morgana manages to hiss out, gripping the side of the bed tightly, hands fisted in clumps of duvet.

Merlin eyes her carefully, he knew Morgana wasn't the sort of person to fake pain; it would be far too embarrassing. He pulls back from her, taking her chin in with his fingers and tilting her head to face him.

"Has it ever been like this before?"

"I think I'd remember something like this."

"Do you want me to get you anything?" He asks.

"No! No, please just stay here."

"Okay, it's okay," he winces slightly as her hands move from the bed to his upper arms, her fingernails digging into his skin.

"No it bloody well isn't," Morgana says sharply, trying not to panic.

"Morgana, please, let go."

She shakes her head slowly before letting it fall back against his shoulder again.

"If you don't let go then I can't phone the doctor can I?" He takes hold of her elbows, pushing her gently back.

"Be quick then."

He gives a quick, reassuring nod and then disappears from the room.

As soon as he is out of sight, the tears that she had so willingly held back moments ago start to fall freely down her face. She clamps her lips together, to stop herself from crying out. Merlin might not know what's happening, but she does. She'd watched far too many TV shows and read far too many books not to know. She had most of the symptoms, it was fairly obvious what was going on, but she didn't want to accept it just yet.

She hears Merlin come bounding up the stairs again, so she sniffs hard and wipes her cheeks roughly with the palms of her hands.

"They said they'd send someone over from the hospital in a few minutes. They're sending a nurse, you know, because of the bleeding." He stops when he walks into the room. "What is it? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not, I'm fine," Morgana tells him, averting her gaze.

He sits down on the bed again, sighing. "Is it because you're in pain?"

"No. Well, partly."

"And what's the other part?"

"I'm scared," she admits quietly.

He turns to her. "Of what?"

"I don't know. That people will find out."

"Like who?"

"Arthur. Uther. Alvarr," she lies back, curling into a ball.

He rolls onto his back too, making patterns out of the white paint swirls on the ceiling.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not you're fault, Merlin."

He reaches for her hand and they lie there in silence, the cool duvet warming under their skin. Everything is so soft and quiet that they almost fall asleep, but a knocking on the front door snaps them back into reality.

"I'll get it."

Merlin opens the door to a dark skinned, dark haired woman with a worried smile.

"Where is she?" The woman asks.

"She's upstairs."

"I'm Gwen, I'm here to see her. From the hospital?"

He stares at her in disbelief. "_You're_ Gwen? You know Morgana? You're her friend!"

"Morgana? What's she doing here- Oh! Of course, you're Merlin. I thought I recognised you," Gwen says brightly.

"You sound very different on the phone," Merlin remarks.

"Anyway. You said she's been suffering from," she pulls out a note from a back pocket, "stomach pains, bleeding... she could just be on her menstrual cycle, you know. Women do tend to have those," Gwen says sarkily, clearly annoyed and thinking he was wasting her time.

"I know, but-"

"And what does that say?" She squints at the paper. "Pr- pre- pregnant. PREGNANT!" She hits him on the shoulder. Hard. "You bastard! Have you not heard of contraception? You only met her a few weeks ago! I'm in a good mind to cut off your-"

"Gwen?" Morgana's voice comes from the stairs and Merlin had never been so happy to hear it. "Is that you?"

"Morgana, what on Earth were you thinking?" Gwen barges past him and embraces her friend in a tight, almost suffocating hug. Well, that's hardly the best thing for her, Merlin thought, but kept it to himself.

"What?" Morgana manages to choke out, growing paler by the second.

"You.. and Merlin. You're pregnant! When? Why didn't you tell me? We're best friends, Morgana, you can tell me anything, you know that!"

"I know... shhh, Gwen. You're making my head hurt," she tells her friend slowly, drowsily almost.

"Alright, okay, just, just sit down."

Morgana smiles briefly at her, before her eyes close and knees crumple, sending her to a heap on the floor.

**Okay, I know this is awful and I didn't mean to have a cliffhanger like this, but I don't have much time and wanted to get this out today.**

**I completely understand if anyone hates me right now, but please review and tell me your thoughts.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Next one! Sorry I can't update as quickly as other people seem to, but I try my best to get a new chapter up every week. This is a bit of a dialogue chapter I'm afraid, but hopefully it's interesting.**

**Thank you for your lovely reviews and follows! They make my day!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

There is someone holding onto her hand, she is aware of that much. Curious, she opens her eyes.

Everything is bright. Too bright. It hurts her eyes as they try to adjust to her surroundings. And it smells like disinfectant. She can almost taste it, it's so strong.

"I hate hospitals," she says suddenly.

There is a gasp and scrambling beside her.

"Morgana! You're awake?"

"No, I'm sleep talking." She turns to the person next to her and is immediately thankful to see Merlin and not Arthur or Gwen.

"I always knew you were talented."

She sits up slowly, her back square with the headrest.

"Why am I here again?"

He sits forward slightly, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"You were- you complained about - well, you had stomach pains, but - then you said - and then you collapsed, and Gwen - she-"

Morgana gives an overly dramatic sigh and rolls her eyes at him.

"Morgana, I don't think I should be the one to tell you," he says dejectedly.

She huffs impatiently. She'd just woken up in a hospital; at the least she deserved to know why.

"Where's Gwen? She'll tell me."

"She had to go and start her shift. Only left about 15 minutes ago. She really wanted to be here when you woke up," he says, leading her away from the orignal question.

"She thinks it's her fault," Merlin continues quickly. "She feels awful, keeps blaming herself."

"Did you tell her what really happened? With Alvarr?"

He shifts uncomfortably. "You don't mind, do you? It's just, she kept asking questions and I wanted to save you the trouble of telling her when you woke up."

She nods, her fingers playing with his hand. "What's that? On your hand. What does it say?" She traces over the smudged letters with her fingertip.

"Scan."

"For what?"

She watches as he pulls his hand away from hers and rests it on her lower stomach, the warmth of his fingers burning through her t-shirt and spreading over her skin.

"Oh."

"I'm so sorry," Merlin apologises.

"So, do they think I've lost it?"

"They're not sure. But, given what's happened, they think it's very likely."

"Right."

They sit quietly for the next few minutes as she processes the information.

"So," Merlin starts. "How come you hate hospitals so much?"

She looks around the room, at the three other women tucked up in hospital beds.

"I think I spent half of my life in here when I was younger. They've probably got a ward named after me somewhere. Most of the time I was in here because of school. In my first week of secondary school, I tripped over a chair and split my head open on a table."

"I'm beginning to think you're very accident prone," Merlin admits.

"I'm not! I'm just... unlucky."

"Says the woman who blew up my microwave," Merlin counters and frowns when she smiles at the memory.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"No, nothing. It's just, do you feel okay? I just told you that you've possibly suffered a miscarriage and you seem remarkably well," he points out.

She looks away, ashamed. "If I tell you what I'm thinking, will you promise not to hate me and think I'm a horrible person?"

Merlin blinks, taken aback by her words. "I promise."

"I've never felt more relieved about anything in my entire life."

Merlin nods slowly. "I understand."

Her eyes dart up to meet his. "You do?"

"Of course. If I'm being completely honest, I'm quite relieved, too. I feel horrible saying it because it is a horrible thing to say, but it hurt. Knowing that he still had some kind of control over you. That there was still this tiny part of him of him inside you, even though you didn't love him." He stops, a look of uncertainty passing over his features. "You _don't_ love him, do you?"

"Merlin, if I had the energy to slap you right now, I would," Morgana tells him, fixing him with a deathly glare.

He clears his throat. "Right. Yes. Of course."

"But I do know what you mean. Even if we both go to hell for thinking it," she says with a small smile.

"How reassuring," Merlin comments sarcastically, but returns the gesture.

Her smile fades as she looks down at their joined hands.

"You still love me, don't you? Because ever since we met, all I've managed to do is mess up your life in some shape or form."

"Oh, please."

"I'm serious! The night we met you got punched in the face. A few days after, you got stuck with me when I invaded your home. You had to buy me things like hairdryers and shampoo. Two weeks after we met I crept into your bed-"

"Now, Morgana-" Merlin tries to interrupt.

"I-I blew up your microwave. I found out I was pregnant with a man we both hate. You lost your job because of me! And now I've probably just had a miscarriage and we're both unemployed and- and," she throws her hands up in the air as she runs out of things to say.

Merlin just looks at her, listening intently now.

"I guess what I'm trying to say," Morgana continues when he doesn't reply. "Is that I have no idea why you put up with me. Because, lets face it, I haven't exactly had a positive impact on your life."

He pauses for a moment, taking all of this in.

"That's the biggest I've ever heard and you know it," he says bluntly.

She opens her mouth to argue with him, but Gwen walks into the room so she swallows her words.

"Miss LeFay?" She asks so formally that Morgana gets the strange urge to laugh. "If you'd like to come for your scan now?"

Morgana nods, following her out of the room and into another, much more private one, with only the two of them.

As soon as they are on their own, Gwen hugs her tightly and then steps away quickly.

"Sorry. Last time I did that you passed out."

"It's okay, Gwen. It's not your fault."

Gwen leads her over to a bed next to something that resembled a computer screen.

"I've been so worried about you," Gwen admits as she lies her back, pulling her t-shirt up over her ribs. "You need to eat more," she orders as she pokes at the bones.

"I'd rather be skinny than weigh 30 stone," Morgana retorts.

"Nah, I think that would be rather fun. We could roll you around everywhere. Like a giant beach ball or something. You'd be great for bowling. Or we could put in the sea and you'd just float away and they'd find you in the Caribbean," Gwen says, sending both of them into fits of giggles.

"I didn't know you worked in the Women's Hospital," Morgana says with a frown.

"I didn't know you were pregnant."

"Sorry."

Gwen smiles and turns around with a bottle of gel in her hand. "This will probably be cold," she says as she spreads it across her stomach.

"It's alright. It was just a bit of a shock to the system, that's all."

"It caught me off guard, too," Morgana says quietly as Gwen starts to move something that looked a bit like a razor over her belly. She watches as her friend stares at the screen.

"I'm not getting anything."

"Huh?"

"I'm not picking up on anything. Maybe if we-" she moves the 'zapper thing' as Morgana was now going to call it, downwards slightly.

"What is it? Have I lost-"

"Hang on. I'll just go and get a doctor," Gwen says and then disappears.

Morgana sighs impatiently, slumping back against the pillows. She taps her thighs with her hands in an attempt to relieve her boredom.

About 10 minutes later Gwen returns, with a familiar faced ginger man behind her.

**Anyone remember the ginger man in Alvarr's house from what seems like a trillion chapters ago? No? Okay. Well, that's him.**

**Yeah, I don't really know much about miscarriages and pregnancies so I just put what I know from a few films I've watched. Not the best resource I know, but I thought my family would find it a little strange if they found their teenage daughter Googling things like: "How do you know when you've had a miscarriage?" and "What happens at a pregnancy scan?"**

**Oh and also, the thing about Morgana splitting her head open on a table actually happened to one of my friends, so she can claim copyright for that bit :D**

**Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and please tell me your thoughts!**

**Thank you for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Next chapter! This one is mainly just conversations, but there is some Mergana at the end, so sorry if you don't like talky chapters. If you want me to do more descriptive chapters, then please say.**

**Anyway, thank you for all of your reviews, follows and favourites! You're all so kind, but I sometimes wonder why you all read this! **

**disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. I'm just borrowing their characters for a while. I'll give them back, I promise!**

"Do you want me to get your bags for you? Should I get the door?"

"I'm not made of glass, Merlin."

"Ah. Yes. Sorry," he says, but grabs the small luggage bag she'd kept in the hospital because they'd made her stay in overnight. Just in case.

"I've never been so glad to leave a hospital in my entire life," Morgana tells him as she enters the house, breathing in the familiar scent that had now become part of her.

"I know," he places her bag by the doorway. "I hated every minute you were in there. I don't know why they were so strict about visiting hours."

"And the food awful."

"It could have been horsemeat for all we know."

They both laugh and flop down on to the sofa, Morgana letting her head fall back against the cushions.

"It's so nice that there's just two of us now," she says, lacing their fingers together. "Remember that older woman who talked in her sleep?"

"She farted, too."

"Oh, God. Don't remind me."

"And no sex for a few months," he continues with an amused smile.

"Ugh," she groans, kicking her feet up as an act of frustration. "I don't know why you're laughing! You're missing out, too!"

"Fine, I'll stop," he gives in.

They sit quietly until someone knocks on the door.

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

"Morgana!"

She blushes. "What? Why can't people just leave us alone? It's annoying."

"No. People just care about you, that's all. I'll go see who it is."

"Tell them to get lost," Morgana instructs him as he leaves the room.

"Yeah, okay," Merlin mutters as he opens the door.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to try to sell you double-glazing," Arthur says with a grin.

"Arth-"

"Who is it?" Morgana yells.

"It's me!" Arthur calls back.

"Who?"

"It's Arthur!" Merlin shouts.

"Oh, Martha! Wait, I don't think I know any Marthas."

Arthur rolls his eyes. "No! Not Martha, it's-"

"Please just come in," Merlin says wearily, stepping aside for him to do so.

"She's such a lazy toad," Arthur says as he walks in. "Always has been. My father treated her like a princess. He still does now, to be honest."

"I can imagine," Merlin laughs.

They walk in on Morgana with her arms folded and a stubborn look on her face.

"I am _not_ lazy."

Arthur pinches her cheeks in a patronising way.

"Of course not. But do you remember that time when I dragged you along to come fishing with me and you fell asleep in the grass?"

By the way her cheeks turned red told Merlin that she obviously did remember that day.

"I was having sleeping problems!" She protests."And it was really sunny and I just got really drowsy_ and _ the grass was really comfy, okay? And I caught a fish," she finishes smugly.

"Morgana, it was the size of a tadpole."

"No it wasn't! And when I chucked that worm at you, you screamed like a girl!" Morgana continues to battle with him.

Merlin thought it was now a routine for them to argue every time they saw one another. It was a bit like déjà vu, but entertaining to watch all the same. Arthur sits down and pulls her into a giant bear hug.

"Gwen told me what happened."

Merlin shifts uncomfortably in the background.

"Do you want me to go? Me and Gwaine said we were going to meet up later anyway, so..." he trails off, waiting for a reply.

"Only if you're sure," Morgana tells him.

"I am."

She breaks away from her brother and beckons him closer. "Come here, then."

He goes.

She grabs his shoulders and pulls him down for a more passionate kiss than he'd really wanted anyone to see, let alone Arthur.

"Say 'Hi' to Gwaine for me," she says, slightly breathlessly.

He nods dumbly. "Yeah."

She sends him such an inappropriate wink, his cheeks and ears start to burn.

"Bye, then. Have fun!" She adds with a cheeky grin as he scurries out of the house.

Arthur turns to her, a shocked yet amused look on his face. "When I said Gwen told me what happened, she obviously didn't tell me everything."

"Evidently not by the way your eyebrows are so high up they're touching your hair," she teases.

He forces a frown. "As long as he makes you happy."

"Oh, he does," Morgana assures him, before breaking into uncontrollable giggling.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I just remembered that last time you came round, well about half an hour after you left, Merlin and I actually slept together."

His eyebrows shoot up again. "Well, that's... great."

"Should I go into the details?"

"Would you like me to go into the details of mine and Gwen's relationship?"

She squirms at the thought of her best friend and brother. Together. Ew. But she was still happy for them.

"No, thank you. Anyway. I thought you'd come round here to rant at me for being so stupid?"

"Not quite. Although, Gwen did have to physically restrain me when she told me. I'm going to beat the hell out of - oh, what's his name?" He snaps his fingers several times in an attempt to jog his memory.

"Alvarr?" Morgana provides.

"Yeah, him."

They fall silent as Arthur contemplates all the horribly brutal things he'd love to do to that man.

"Uther doesn't know, does he?" She asks timidly.

"No. He doesn't have to know, either."

She nods, satisfied with his answer. "That's good."

"How are you coping, anyway? I can't really speak from experience, but it mustn't be easy to lose a child. Even if it's with a man you don't particularly like."

She hesitates. "I'm.. okay."

"It's alright if you're not, Morgana. I know I always used to tease you for being weak-" he stops when she sends him a dirty look- "But it's different now. It's okay to be upset," he says with a level of gentleness and kindness she'd never really seen in him before.

"I'm not upset. I almost feel glad about it. No matter how awful that sounds."

Arthur nods, unusually deep in thought. "And how does Alvarr feel about this?"

She blinks. "He doesn't know."

"What, that you've miscarried?"

"No, that I was pregnant in the first place."

Arthur stares at her. "Surely he has a right to know?"

She shakes her head firmly. "Not now. He doesn't deserve to know."

He shrugs. "And how does Merlin feel about everything?"

"The same as I do."

* * *

Gwaine stares at him, his mouth wide open in shock.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. In two weeks, you've met this amazing woman, she's left her boyfriend and moved in with you, you got to spend the night with her-"

"It was more than that," Merlin interrupts stubbornly.

"Right. And now you're together, she's found out that she's pregnant with that guy who punched you in the face and then lost it?"

Merlin sighs. "To put it simply, yes."

"And I thought my life was fairly hectic."

"It's like being on a rollercoaster," Merlin adds.

"And is she worth?"

Poor Merlin nearly spits out his drink.

"Worth it? I'd do anything for her!"

Gwaine grins at his friend's reaction. "Alright, just checking, don't start spouting Bruno Mars' lyrics to me. So, what's she like?"

"Absolutely incredible," he states.

"What about in bed?"

"Gwaine! That's none of your business!"

"Oh, come on. You've been waiting for me to ask you," Gwaine insists. "So. Is she good?"

"Yes. Very," Merlin says curtly.

His friend laughs. "Look at you! You're like an awkward teenager that's just lost his virginity!"

Merlin fidgets in his seat, avoiding his gaze.

Gwaine's eyes turn into saucers, they go so wide. "No way. Are you joking? Bloody hell!" He hits his friend on the arm.

Merlin rubs at the pain, blushing furiously. "What?"

"You!"

"There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, is there?" He defends himself. "Not that you'd know much about being one?"

"No, but- well, she's a fantastic woman to start with," he admits.

"You do realize that this is _my_ girlfriend we're talking about?"

"Yeah, but, oh never mind. I'm pleased for you," Gwaine replies.

"Thanks. Anyway, I promised Morgana I'd be back soon," he lies, looking at the clock and realizing how late it really was. "But thank you. For the chat. And the drink. And about that job. Just... thank you," he hugs his friend gratefully.

* * *

"I'm back!"

No answer.

"Morgana? I'm back! Where are you?" He calls through the house.

He finds her curled up on the sofa, with Aithusa held tightly to her chest. Over the past few weeks they had gotten incredibly attached to each other and Merlin was starting to get jealous of his own cat.

Idly, he picks up the TV remote. "Why are you watching Crystal Maze repeats?"

She jumps and he immediately feels a pang of guilt. She sits up and rubs her eyes, yawning.

"I must've dozed off. Sorry."

Aithusa hisses at him so he does the same back, causing Morgana to laugh softly.

"S'okay. I didn't mean to wake you." He sits down and pulls her across his lap, stroking her hair back in what he hoped had a calming effect. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she says sleepily and tilts her head up to kiss him gently. She pulls back and wrinkles her nose. "Lager. How romantic."

"Gwaine was quite insistent that I have some."

"I bet he was. How is he, anyway?"

"He's good. How about Arthur?"

"Hmm."

He frowns. "What does that mean?"

"He's been called back to Afghanistan," she grumbles.

"But I thought you said he goes back in 5 months, or something? When does he leave?"

"Next week."

"Oh."

"I'm sure he'll be fine, but I'll still worry. And Aithusa clawed his hand. It was quite funny," she says with a smile.

The doorbell rings and Morgana manages to hold back a tsunami of curses. Why couldn't people just leave them alone?

"Pizza's here," Merlin says casually and goes to answer the door.

She stares at him as he comes back in with a steaming box, and suddenly feels very hungry.

"Merlin! Why are you spending money on pizza when we're both unemployed?"

"Not for much longer," he says in a mysterious voice.

She narrows her eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

He puts the pizza down and grabs her waist to bring her closer.

"Gwaine told me about this job in a factory-"

"In a _factory_?"

"Shh, just listen. Okay, so there's this job going in a factory where all you have to do is just polish parts and sand stuff down, but it's quite well paid so I'm going to apply for it," he finishes.

She hugs him tightly, spinning them around. "And that, Merlin, is why you are my favourite person in the entire world."

**Yay, I finished it! I hope you like it!**

**Also, I know it was a bit unlikely that Merlin would be a virgin, but hey.**

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Installment number 16! **

**Thank you all very much for your kind reviews and some new follows which was great to see!**

**This chapter is mainly just short and fluff, because I thought we needed some Mergana :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters, I think everyone knows that by now.**

When she wakes up, it is still dark and she is alone, rolling over to find Merlin's side of the bed empty. She huffs unhappily at his absence and turns onto her back, straining her ears to hear better. When no sounds reach her, she rolls back on to her side and squints at the alarm clock through the darkness. The blurred display reads 4:37am.

Morgana frowns but lets her head fall back against the pillows, drifting back off to sleep again. Wherever Merlin was, he would be back soon.

The next time she wakes up, it is 5:02am and there is still no Merlin.

Frustrated, she sits up and kicks off the bed covers. Aithusa, who had been taking a peaceful residence at the end of the bed, flies from the mattress and screeches loudly. This causing Morgana to nearly scream herself and then fall out of the bed, landing with a thud on the floor.

She rubs her knee and swears violently, a bad habit that Merlin had picked her up on many times, saying it was _unladylike._

"Sorry, cat," she murmurs to the angry ball of fluff that had now stopped trying to attack her. Morgana strokes the fur under her chin and smoothes it back on the top of her head.

Aithusa purrs quietly, beginning to settle again.

"There you go," Morgana says soothingly as Aithusa goes back off to sleep. "Now I have to go and find Merlin."

She gets to the top of the stairs, shivering with the cold and wishing she had a dressing gown. Merlin had one and she always teased him for it, only now regretting not having some of the soft fabric for herself.

She stops on the fourth step when she hears voices in the living room. She'd been in this kind of situation before, when Alvarr had invited all kinds of strange, horrible men around to the house. Usually always banned from the living room and the whole of downstairs while they did and smoked God knows what, she took refuge on the staircase, trying to catch snippets of their conversations.

One particularly nasty sounding brute had once said something about a woman that made her stomach give a sickening jolt and her legs feel heavy as they ran her up the remaining stairs and back into bed.

Drawn into reality once again, Morgana peers through the banisters at the light coming from the living room. The door is almost fully shut, just a thin strip of bright yellow dancing over her face.

When she notices that Merlin is the only person speaking, her curiosity increases and she presses her forehead uncomfortably up against the woodwork to try to see and hear more. Why was Merlin talking to himself? Sure, she did it sometimes, but she didn't get up at four o'clock in the morning to do so. She even had conversations with Aithusa, but that was when she talked in silly voices that everyone seemed to talk to animals in.

With a frown, she pushes her ear up against the small space between the poles of wood. Maybe Merlin was trying to practice some kind of speech? Perhaps he was going through what he was going to say if he got a job interview at that factory.

But the fact that he was going this in the early hours of the morning was something she didn't understand.

She closes her eyes in an attempt to make her hearing better, remembering reading something about using as little senses as you could to boost the other? Irritated when the door continues to muffle his words, she lets her head relax against the banister, fighting to keep her eyes open as they repeatedly drooped closed. After a few minutes of a weak battle, she gives in, letting sleep claim her once again.

* * *

"Morgana? Wake up."

"Huh?"

"Wake up, love."

"Hmm, no," she mumbles.

"Please?" Merlin tries again.

Reluctantly, she opens her eyes to find herself still attached to the banister with Merlin crouched down in front of her.

"That's better," he smiles at her and her heart skips. "Smile for me?"

She blushes like a 13-year-old girl, trying to keep a straight-face, but her lips turn up without her permission.

"Much better," he comments, pulling her closer for a hug, her chin tucked over his shoulder. "What are you doing out here?"

Her hand comes up to play with his hair and the collar of his t-shirt.

"I heard you, you were talking. So I tried to listen," she explains sleepily.

"I woke you? I'm sorry," he kisses her shoulder in an apology.

"No, I was already awake and then I - oh, it doesn't matter," she finishes tiredly, running her fingers through his soft, dark hair.

"Okay," he agrees, relaxed by her touches.

"Who were you talking to, Merlin?"

"I'll tell you in the morning," he promises.

"It _is_ morning," she grumbles into his neck.

"I know, but you're tired and-" he clasps her free hand. "Cold. You need to sleep."

"You always say that."

"That's because it's the truth."

"Fine." She pulls back, suddenly, green eyes sparkling. "But you have to carry me."

"Done," he says, scooping her up into his arms. "Someone certainly had a good Christmas," he adds as he takes her weight.

Morgana hits him feebly on the chest. "You're the one that always complains I'm too skinny... or is that Gwen?"

"Shh, just go back to sleep," Merlin advises her before putting her down gently onto the cool bed.

He climbs in next to her, tucking the duvet in around them. She curls herself up against him, almost asleep.

"Blood hell!" Merlin jerks away from her. "Your feet are freezing!"

Morgana laughs at his reaction and brings her legs so that her toes brush against his warm thighs. He jumps back again and she giggles in delight. He reaches for her waist to pull her to him, cautiously this time.

"We're supposed to be going to sleep," Merlin groans into her hair.

"But I'm wide awake now," she informs him, stretching her legs out.

"You might not be in the morning," he points out.

She hums in agreement, whilst his hands rubs up and down her arms, trying to get some warmth into them.

"Nice?" He asks when her eyes flutter closed again.

"Yeah," she whispers slowly.

His hands move to rub circles in her hips and sides, the into her back. All the while, Morgana becomes more and more drowsy, resting her head against his chest.

"You'd be good at getting a baby off to sleep," she says suddenly and without really thinking.

He stops for a moment. "Do you really think so?"

"Mmm. Definitely. If you can get me to sleep, then you can get pretty much anyone to, I guess."

"I would've helped, you know."

She looks up at him. "What do you mean?"

"If you'd had the child."

"Oh," she says dismissively, shutting her eyes again.

"No, look at me."

She does as he says.

"I would have. Honestly. I don't care that it would've been Alvarr's child. I would've cared for it like it was my own."

Morgana nods, taking all of this in.

"Thank you." The only words she can find to say in this moment.

Merlin frowns, a new idea hitting him.

"If- If you'd had a girl. What would you have called her?"

"I don't want to talk about," she says simply.

"It might help to?"

"It wont," she states, bitterly.

"Please? Just a name. Just so I know."

She sighs, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "_Why?_"

"I'm just interested, that's all."

Her eyes widen as she adds 2 and 2 to make 5. "Look, Merlin, you are incredible and I do love you, but I'm not planning on getting pregnant again anytime soon."

He visibly pales. "No- I know- I didn't- I was just, I'm not asking you to- oh, forget it," he finishes, cross with himself for putting the matter across in such a way.

"You'd have to marry me first," she says smugly, leaving him alone for the rest of the night with his now frantic thoughts, falling asleep as soon as she says it.

**N'aww, this was nice to write, which is the main thing I think, because I don't want this story to turn into a chore.**

**Also! It is now officially the Easter holidays for me, which means 2 weeks off and that I can hopefully update every few days instead of every week! Yay! I know this wasn't particularly eventful, but I'm working up to another main event involving Alvarr and Arthur! Double Yay! Oh, and Hunith comes in next chapter!**

**Please leave me a review if you get the time! It's not compulsory but it means a great deal!**

**Thank you for reading! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17! Yay! I can't promise to update everyday because I have some homework to do over the holidays and I think you'd all get bored of me, to be honest.**

**Yes, I have put this story up to an M now, sorry for any inconvenience, there is no smut or anything – promise! - just Morgana being her usual flirty self at the start and some upcoming chapters.**

**Thank you all for your lovely reviews, 78 in total! I never thought I'd get this far, so thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favourited so far!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

She has decided that they will lie in this morning, due to their night time disturbance. Merlin is still fast asleep, his chin rested on the top of her head and his arms wrapped around her almost possessively.

Bored, her hands come up to the waistband of his pyjama trousers and up under his t-shirt. She revels in the contact of her cooler hands and his warmer stomach, stroking the slight outline of muscles with her fingertip. She scowls to herself about how much of a pain in the backside the next three months were going to be. Then, with a smirk, she remembers the possibility of Merlin becoming even more toned, if he got that job with _all that heavy machinery_ at the vehicle factory. She presses her palms against the heated flesh. Maybe they could have some _light_ fun in between waiting.

"Morgana, what are you doing?" Merlin whispers hotly into her ear, sending chills down her spine.

She shudders and snatches her hands away.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." He takes her hands and returns them to their previous spot. She smiles as her fingers brush against his skin again. "What were you thinking about?"

"When?"

"Just now. You were frowning and then you smirked. What were you thinking about?" He moves back a little, to see her properly.

Morgana sends him a devious smile. "You."

Merlin raises his eyebrows. "Oh? Should I be worried?"

"I don't think so. I was just thinking about my plans for you once these horrible three months are over," she says casually, stroking over his ribs.

His eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. "Right, yes." He clears his throat. "And do your plans involve my stomach?"

"Hmm, no. A little bit lower down, I think," she says, her hands coming down to rest on his thighs and gently squeeze.

"Morgana!" He chokes out, blushing and pushing her hands away. "Stop it! We're not allowed to!"

She grins wickedly at him. "Fine, if you insist."

"I, um, I do. I do insist, actually. Definitely."

Morgana sits up suddenly and smacks him lightly across the chest. "You _still_ haven't told me who you were talking to last night!"

"I haven't exactly had much of a chance! Since I've woken up, all you've done is tried to seduce me!"

"Believe me, Merlin, if I had been trying to seduce you, we would be doing other things rather than talking right now."

"Anyway... I was talking to my mother," he explains.

"She came round to the house? Oh God, she didn't see me asleep on the stairs, did she?" Her cheeks redden, this new idea of Merlin's mother finding her asleep after trying to eavesdrop on their private conversation terrified her.

"No! No, don't worry. She didn't come round here," Merlin reassures her.

"Well, then how were you talking to her? And why at 4:30 in the morning?"

He sits up next to her, pulling the duvet up to their waists. "We were talking on Skype and she's living in Australia at the moment, that's why I had to get up so early to talk to her."

Morgana stares at him and then bursts out laughing, thinking she had never been so stupid in her entire life.

Merlin watches her uncertainly. "What? What is it? Why are you laughing?"

"Because- I thought that- and you were- basically, I thought you were talking to yourself!" Morgana manages in between laughter.

"Ohhhh," Merlin drags out and then starts chuckling, too. "I had headphones in, so I didn't wake you."

"I feel so stupid now," she admits.

"Don't, honestly. I don't think she would've minded seeing you asleep anyway. You look adorable."

She sticks her tongue out at him. "Why is she living in Australia, anyway?"

Merlin shrugs. "Work. After I left College, she got offered this great job out there. At first she didn't want to go, but I managed to convince her, said it would be good for her. She left me the house and Aithusa, too."

"She sounds nice," Morgana muses.

"I think you'd get on well. Which is a good thing because she'll be staying with us soon."

"Really? When?"

"A few days. You don't mind do you?" Merlin asks quietly.

"Why do you need my permission to see your mother?" Morgana exclaims. "It's your house!"

He breathes a sigh of relief and smiles at her. "Good, that's good. She can't wait to meet you."

"Can I talk to her? Before she stays with us? So I can get to know her a bit?" She asks excitedly.

Merlin nods. "We can try and get in touch tonight."

* * *

It is midnight now, and they are curled up on the sofa with blankets wrapped around their legs.

"How much longer do we have to wait?" Morgana glares impatiently at the laptop screen on Merlin's lap.

"Not long."

"I still don't know why we couldn't have done this upstairs. It would've been much more comfortable," she points out.

"Because you would've distracted me."

"What on Earth do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

She sighs and leans her head against his shoulder. They had been waiting for _ages_ now. Well, maybe 20 minutes. But that was a long time just sitting in front of a computer and waiting for Hunith to reply to the message Merlin had sent her earlier.

_Hunith. _It was a nice name, if a little different. It sounded a bit like honey. _Hun-ith_. Hunith. She'd said it too many times in her head now, it sounded weird.

_Ping!_

She sits up straighter. "What was that?"

"I think it means she's online," Merlin says with a frown.

"Are we going on web-cam?"

"Yes. Do you want to?"

She tugs at her extremely short pyjamas trousers. "Yeah."

Merlin looks at her clothing choices, a little longer than was necessary, and shakes his head, smirking. "I thought so."

"Are we going to talk to her now?"

"You have the patience of a child, you know that?" He says as he clicks on the call button.

"Does your Mum have a web-cam?"

"Yes, but I don't think she knows how to use it properly. She keeps messing around with it and it's stuck on this black and white effect," Merlin says.

"Are we talking to your Dad as well?"

"No, we- Here she is! Finally!" He says brightly as a woman appears on the screen.

"_Merlin?"_ Hunith shouts at the camera. _"Can you hear me?"_ She pokes the camera lens. _"Is this silly thing working?"_

"_If you take your finger away from the camera, then yes, it is working," _Merlin says back.

"_Alright, then."_ She pushes a pair of glasses higher up her nose and takes her hand away from the camera, so that Morgana could see her properly.

She was a very pretty woman. Lighter hair than Merlin's, a darker skin tone, probably down to the fact that she was living in Australia. She had a kind face, like Merlin. Morgana was almost tempted to look back and forth between mother and son, noting down the similarities and differences.

"_Is that Morgana?"_

"Hello," Morgana says awkwardly, waving slightly.

Hunith squints. _"Hang on! I'm wearing the wrong glasses! Back in a mo!"_ She says and then dashes off.

"I swear she had about six different pairs," Merlin tells her. "What she really needs is a pair of glasses just for finding her glasses."

"I heard that," Hunith calls back in a sing-song voice and then reappears wearing a red pair of glasses. Well, Morgana thought they would be red – if the camera wasn't in black and white.

"Are you ready now?" Merlin asks.

"Yes, all the better for seeing you with!" She replies and Morgana laughs at the child-like joke. Hunith turns her attentions to her, as if studying her. Morgana shift uncomfortably under her gaze. "Oh, Morgana, don't look so worried! I'm not going to bite your head off!"

Morgana relaxes, but only by a small amount. "So, um, how long have you been living abroad?"

"Oh, four years I think. Well, Merlin was right about you," she says, changing the subject so quickly that Morgana hadn't even realised what Hunith had said.

"I'm sorry?"

"Merlin. He's been telling me all about you," Hunith admits.

Morgana turns to Merlin to find him blushing considerably. "Oh, really? What's he been saying about me, then? Probably all bad things."

"_Oh, he's told me everything-"_

"Everything?" Morgana freezes and looks at Merlin again. "Even about the pregnancy thing?" She asks him quietly. He shakes his head at her and smiles.

"Yes, everything. About the ice-skating and the snowball fight and how you blew up the micro-wave. He was talking to me for 20 minutes the other night about how beautiful your eyes were," Hunith says with knowing smile, enjoying watching her son go an even deeper shade of red.

"That's very interesting. He never says those kind of things to my face," Morgana says smugly. "_Do_ you Merlin?"

He clears his throat, embarrassed, and looks around the room. "I don't know what you mean. I'm always complimenting you. What was it I said the other day? Something about 'angelic features', if my memory serves me well."

"Hmm, yes and I can also remember you saying something about me being fat not so long ago."

"Excuse me! All I said was something about 'having a good Christmas'. That implies nothing about weight."

"You were carrying me at the time!"

Hunith arches an eyebrow at them. _"Carrying you, was he?"_

Now it was Morgana's turn to become embarrassed. "Yes, but I was-"

"_Basically_," Merlin begins loudly. "She was trying to listen in on _our_ conver-"

Morgana claps a hand to his mouth to shut him up. "I wasn't, I swear! I just heard Merlin and then-"

"And then she fell asleep on the-"

"No I didn't!" Morgana yells at him. "You promised not to tell her!"

Hunith smiles broadly at their banter, laughing quietly when Merlin attacks Morgana's ribs with his finger, tickling her like there was no tomorrow. He tells her to be quiet when she starts screaming for him to stop, saying that someone called Gwen really would think he was an axe-murderer. They finally stop, Morgana curled up in a ball at the end of the sofa to protect herself and Merlin trying to regain his breath.

"_Listen, Merlin. I have to go now but I'm flying over soon, so we can talk then."_

"_Okay. Bye, Mum."_

"_Bye, Hunith," Morgana groans, still curled up._

"_See you soon,"_ Hunith says and then disconnects her web-cam.

"Ow," Morgana complains suddenly.

"What?"

"You made my stomach hurt."

"Why is it my fault?" Merlin defends himself.

"Because you were the one tickling me, and now it hurts," she says her voice muffled as she hold her knees to her chest.

"I'm so sorry," Merlin apologizes, pulling her over to him and massaging her stomach gently.

"I think you'll have to kiss it better," Morgana advises him and without much persuasion he does as she asks, leaning down and pressing his lips against the fabric that covered her belly.

"Better?"

She nods sleepily and and buries her face into his shoulder. "Can we sleep down here tonight?"

He reaches down and picks up the blanket that had been thrown to the floor, pulling it over their shoulders. He turns out the small lamp and kisses her forehead. "Night, Morgana."

**I feel like I should write something about this chapter but I can't at the moment because I just finished watching the new Doctor Who and najfbaszsbfakj, amazing.**

**Okay, feels aside, the Merlin/Morgana at the start was fun to write, hehe, and I hope it was written okay (?) and do you think the Hunith bit was OOC? I hope not. **

**Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and please leave me a review! It makes me write faster!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Next Chapter: Hunith arrives and tells Morgana that she knows her and Merlin's 'secret'. (Probably. I might change my mind.)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you for your lovely comments and follows! Happy Easter, although it was on Sunday. I've eaten so much chocolate these past few days, that if you cut me open I'd probably bleed it. Sorry that this is a shorter chapter, but we get Morgana/Hunith interactions! Yay!**

**Sorry for any mistakes! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit.  
**

(2 days later)

"My back still aches from sleeping on that sofa," Merlin complains, stretching his arms out to the side in an attempt to the relieve the tension.

"Aw, you poor thing," Morgana stops pressing random buttons on their new microwave and comes up behind him, digging her knuckles into his back. He groans, his head falling back a little as she applies more pressure. "Better?"

"Mmm."

He turns her around to face him, kissing her gently and then touching their foreheads together.

"Can you show me how to use the microwave, now?"

He grins at her and then pulls away. "It's very simple. You put what you want to cook in the microwave - but NOT metal spoons or anything metal, like foil. Then-"

"So, if I put a yoghurt in the microwave, I would have to take the foil off?" Morgana interrupts.

He stares at her. "Why would you put a yoghurt in a microwave?"

She shrugs. "If you wanted warm yoghurt."

"Then, yes, you would take the foil off."

"Great. So, what other things shouldn't I put in it? I know you're not supposed to put mice in there," Morgana says, looking at the cooking device with some kind of determination.

"You knew you weren't supposed to put mice in microwaves, but not metal spoons?" Merlin says incredulously. "Should I ask how you found that out?"

"Well. Arthur and I had this pet mouse-"

"I don't think I like the sound of this."

"And she was called Squeaky Spice-"

"Squeaky Spice?"

"I was a fan of the Spice Girls, okay? Anyway, one morning we found that somehow we'd accidentally left Squeaky outside all night and she was frozen solid. Uther was out of the house, so we decided to put her in the microwave to warm her back up a bit," Morgana explains. "It was awful trying to clean everything up."

Merlin shakes his head at her, laughing. "That's animal cruelty!"

"I was eight!" Morgana objects.

"Did you not do cooking in secondary school?"

"Yes, but they banned me from taking part after three weeks. I tried to tell them that I didn't mean to blow up their oven, set fire to a tea-towel and set off about 20 smoke alarms, but they were having none of it," she says in annoyance. "They made me do written work all the time."

"You did all that in three weeks?"

"Well, two. Like I said the other day, I had to take most of the first week off because I split my head open on a table," Morgana corrects herself.

"You can't be good at everything," Merlin reassures her, pulling her into a hug. "And I don't think cooking is one of your strong points."

"I put milk in the kettle to make hot milk once," Morgana continues. "And I thought that if you put bread on a radiator, you could make toast."

"Oh dear," Merlin says, chuckling. "Is someone feeling sorry for themselves today?"

She nods and sticks her bottom lip out for effect. Merlin leans down and kisses it for her, then sits down on a kitchen chair, Morgana sitting on his knees.

"When are you going on that workshop thing for the factory job?"

"This weekend?"

She looks horrified. "For the whole weekend?"

"Yes."

Morgana 'hmmphs.'

"You'll be fine. You'll have my mother for company."

"I know, but I'll still miss you. And now Arthur's gone back to Afghanistan, it's ike all my favourite people are going away."

"Stop being so dramatic," Merlin chides her. "You've got Gwen, Gwaine, Aithusa - even Uther."

"No way am I going to Uther for an afternoon chat," she says bluntly.

Merlin sighs as she continues to argue with him. "Fine, but you know my Mum will always help you out. She really likes you."

"Mmm," Morgana hums, not convinced.

There is a knock on the door.

"Speak of the devil," Merlin says with an infectious grin. "That's probably her now."

**...**

From what Morgana had learned about Hunith that afternoon was that she was very kind and almost shy. She was fairly short, shorter than Morgana, and had such a tiny frame that Morgana had hugged her as soon as she came through the door.

Embarrassed at her sudden outburst of compassion, she had pulled back and apologised. Hunith had told her to stop being so silly, squeezing both Merlin and Morgana into a tight embrace with an unknown strength.

This was slightly awkward, however, as the darker haired couple were both about 5 inches taller than Hunith.

Morgana lies awake now, her body pressed against Merlin's, who is already asleep. She had spent the best part of two hours tossing and turning and there were little signs of any improvement. She tries desperately to relax. Suffering with insomnia in her teenage years had made her life even more difficult and she hoped the sleepless nights weren't making a return.

Listening to music would probably help and she knew Merlin had quite a vast collection of CDs, but that would mean waking other people up and she didn't have headphones.

Frustrated at her current predicament, she turns away from Merlin and grabs a handful of duvet, pulling it up and over her head. It worked for a while and blocked everything - Alvarr, Arthur, the baby, her baby, the ginger man in the hospital. Oh great, now she was thinking about him again, wondering whether it was just her imagination or whether she really did recognise him as man in Alvarr's house. She hadn't told Merlin about it yet and felt the sudden urge to tell him now.

After a few minutes of being suffocated by the duvet, she was boiling hot and had to rip the heavy blanket away from her face, gasping for oxygen and welcoming the cold rush of air against her flushed face. Morgana props herself up on her elbow, her fingers itching to prod Merlin awake and tell him the news, but she gets another idea.

She swings her legs out of the bed and sits up properly, enjoying the feeling of her warm, bare feet hitting the cool, soft carpet. Walking through the house and down the stairs was a treat in itself, and Morgana felt herself shivering in delight as goosebumps erupted all over her arms and the backs of her thighs.

She walks into the living room, where Hunith was sleeping, to find her still awake, too, a pair of eyes peeking over a quilt at a muted TV screen. Hunith sees her standing in the doorway and pats the sofa next to her. Morgana sits down.

"Sorry."

"What for?" Hunith asks her.

"Interrupting you. I didn't want to it's just-"

"Trouble sleeping?"

"Hmm." Morgana nods at the TV. "You as well?"

"I had a nice long sleep on the plan."

"Oh, I see," she fidgets, unsure of what to say next.

"Something on your mind?"

"I think Merlin's cruel making you sleep down here," she says finally, which wasn't really a lie because she did feel this way.

Hunith laughs quietly. "Please don't. I don't mind, honestly. It's quite comfortable. Did you find it okay?"

"Pardon?"

"When you slept down here," Hunith says.

"Merlin told you that, too?"

Hunith sends her a wicked smile that Morgana didn't really know the woman had in her.

"Merlin tells me lots of things."

Morgana swallows nervously. "What kinds of _things_?"

Hunith pats her knee. "Sometimes it's best not to know."

She blushes – something she seemed to be making a habit of nowadays. "Do you give me permission to hit your son next time I see him?"

"You can do that whenever you want – with good reason. Hopefully you can knock some sense into him."

"Maybe he can do that to me, too. When I was eight I exploded my pet mouse in a microwave."

"Yes, you don't seem to get on very well with microwaves, do you?" Hunith says and both women start giggling.

"Evidently not."

"Now. Tell me what's really on your mind."

Morgana raises her eyebrows. "Wow. You are good."

"Flattery will get you everywhere with me."

"Hunith, can I tell you something?"

She sits up straighter. "Of course you can."

"I don't know if Merlin was planning on telling you, but-"

"I think I already know," she smiles.

Morgana freezes. "You... you do?"

Hunith nods. "I figured it out for myself."

Morgana stares at her. "I said you were good, but I didn't think you were that good."

"It wasn't that hard to work out."

"It w-wasn't?" Morgana stammers, unable to keep up with her.

"No. I saw you and Merlin on the webcam."

"What?" Her and Merlin hadn't talked about Alvarr, had they?

"You forgot to disconnect the webcam after we'd finished talking. I saw Merlin rub and kiss your stomach."

"No, Hunith. It's not what you-"

"Sweetie, it's alright. You don't have to deny it. I'm happy for you! I really am!"

"But-"

"Morgana. Please. I know you're pregnant."

**(cackles evilly to self)**

**Did anyone see that coming? **

**Maybe? Tell me if you did! I want to know if my writing is so predictably boring that you've all got bets on with each other on what's going to happen next!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter because that's the main reason I'm writing this and please review! I want to hear your thoughts!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Next chapter: Morgana gets an interesting letter back from Afghanistan.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Next one – well, half of one because I've decided to upload this chapter in two parts, otherwise it would've have been really long.**

**Thank you for your reviews! It made me happy to know that a few people found Morgana exploding a mouse in a microwave funny, as that was the intention!**

**Oh, and those people who live in England may recognise an event I put in here from something that happened in 2011.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit. **

"Hunith thinks I'm pregnant."

Merlin stops packing clothes into a travel bag and looks to where she sits on the bed. "Since when?"

"Last night. I couldn't sleep so I went downstairs and we were talking and then she just said she 'knew' I was pregnant and there was no point denying it and she wouldn't let me say anything and then she was saying how she couldn't wait to become a grandmother and, and-" she'd planned every word so carefully in her head and no it was all coming out in a huge rush.

"Why didn't you tell her that you weren't?"

"I tried!" Morgana says desperately. "But she kept interrupting me!"

"Where is she now?"

"Out. Shopping or something, I don't know."

Merlin nods and continues shoving fabric into his bag. "We can tell her when she gets back, then."

"No!" She says quickly. "She'll hate me!"

Merlin shrugs. "Right, well I'll tell her then."

"But then she'll think I'm a coward!"

"Fine, we'll both tell her," he compromises.

"What? That's it?" She asks, unnerved by his calmness. Sometimes it annoyed her, his ability to stay level-headed in a situation when she'd just lose it and break something.

"Yeah, that's it," he says casually.

She sighs, still a bit unhappy with the decision. "Why are you packing now? You don't leave until tomorrow evening."

"I wanted to get ahead. So that I can spend the rest of today and tomorrow with you and my mother," Merlin explains, zipping up his suitcase and then going to sit next to Morgana.

She nudges him with her elbow. "You big softie."

"Yeah, well. Being soft never hurt anyone."

"I'm not complaining," Morgana informs him and brings her knees up so that she can lie down with her head resting in Merlin's lap. He starts running his fingers through her hair, untangling some of the dark strands. She turns onto her back to look up at him which prevents him from doing this, so he brushes the locks out of her face instead.

"What is it?" He asks her.

"What do you think I should apply for as a job?"

He lets his body fall back against the mattress and she moves her head up to rest on the softer skin of his stomach.

"A chef," he decides and they both laugh.

"Hmm, maybe not," Morgana disagrees, still giggling.

"I don't think it's a good idea that you go back to offices," Merlin thinks out loud. "What GCSEs did you get at school?"

"Oh God, um, English, Maths and Science were compulsory," she tells him. "I also did Business, German, Religious Studies and History."

"Pass them all?"

"Yep. With help from Gwen," Morgana says to the ceiling, becoming defensive at Merlin's sigh. "I was going through a rough patch!"

"A rough patch?" Merlin asks mockingly. "Like what?"

"I lost my father."

His hand comes up to smooth back her hair again. "I'm so sorry."

"It happened nine years ago. I'm over it," she says quickly.

"But you still miss him." It was more of a statement than a question.

"If I said everyday, then I'd be lying. But I do still miss him. I think you and him would've got on well," she says with a sad smile that Merlin couldn't see.

He frowns. "You've never said anything about this before."

"I did. You weren't really listening."

"How did he die?"

"Car accident," she says simply. "You know that massive one they had on the motorway? The one where the lorry crashed and they think it was because there was smoke from a fireworks display hanging over the road?" She stops and Merlin hums his agreement. "Well, he got caught up in that. He was in a taxi at the time-"

Merlin sits up suddenly and her head falls painfully back against his knees.

"Was that the one in 2004?" He asks her excitedly.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"On the 23rd of October?"

"How on Earth did you remember-"

He jumps to his feet and she falls to the floor, landing with a thud on the carpet.

She yells at him. "Merlin!"

"Oh, sorry," he helps her to her feet and hugs her tightly. "But that was the same one my father died in," he whispers.

Morgana pulls back and smiles, a wild look taking over her features. "Really?" She breathes.

He nods and pulls her into another bone-crushing embrace.

"Merlin... c-ould you let g-go now?" She manges to choke out and his arms drop back to his sides like there is ten times more gravity.

"Sorry," he grins sheepishly at her and her earlier resistance melts into a puddle of goo.

"No, it's okay, it's just, um, you know... I'm shocked," she says, mainly out of guilt. "The _same_ crash? Maybe we've got it mixed up."

"The one near Taunton, right? Where the lorry exploded and about 60 people were injured?"

She blinks. "Maybe not, then."

"Can we talk about this later? Only it's that I've just heard the front door go and right now we have other things to discuss. With my mother," he reminds her and she groans. "Come on, it'll be fine."

**...**

"Here, let me help you," Morgana offers to take some of Hunith's bags out into the kitchen and then strains under the weight of just two of them. "What did you buy? These weigh a tonne!"

"Oh, Morgana!" Hunith rushes out and takes the bags from her. "Silly girl! You shouldn't be doing that in your condition!"

Morgana shoots Merlin an I-told-you-so look and he sighs.

"Mum, could you just, um," Merlin trails off as Hunith continues to unload what seemed like a limitless number of shopping bags.

"Just what?"

"Stop unpacking for a moment?"

"Yeah, give me a minute, then. I'll finish doing this lot and meet you in the living room," Hunith says, not really looking up.

"Okay, well, do you want me to help?"

"No, dear. You and Morgana go and sit down."

"Alright, then," Merlin agrees and takes Morgana by the hand and leads her towards the front of the house.

"She's going to hate me," Morgana repeats over and over again as the walk. She spots Aithusa perched at the bottom of the stairs and scoops her up, rubbing the fur for comfort.

"She won't, I promise! Stop worrying yourself about it. She'll probably just be a bit upset that you aren't pregnant," Merlin tries to reassure her, failing miserably.

"She will! She'll think I'm a, a -"

"Morgana, since when have you ever really cared about what people think of you?" Merlin asks, pulling her sit down on the sofa.

She pauses. "I haven't. But it's your mother. So it's different."

"What's different?" Hunith asks as she walks into the room with the kettle in her hand.

"Oh, nothing, we'll tell you in a minute," Morgana smiles sweetly at her. "Why have you got the kettle?"

Hunith holds it up. "Tea?"

"No, Mum, just stop faffing and sit down," Merlin instructs her and she does so, setting the kettle down at her feet.

"Alright. Come on, then, what did you want to tell me?"

"You seem to have gotten it into your head that Morgana is, well, pregnant," Merlin starts cautiously.

Hunith smiles brightly at him. "Well, she is, isn't she?"

"No. But she was."

Hunith claps a hand over her mouth in horror. "Was? Did you lose it?" She whispers.

"Yes, but it wasn't-" Merlin tries to get her attention again, but she just rushes over to Morgana and throws her arms around her, squashing Aithusa in the process.

"Oh, my dear, I'm so, so sorry, I had no idea. When did this happen? I mean, you two haven't even been together that long, so-" She stops hugging Morgana and turns to Merlin. "Why the hell didn't you tell me, idiot?"

Merlin opens his mouth to get his point across, but Morgana beats him to it.

"It wasn't even his child," she says bluntly, avoiding Hunith's eyes.

"Whose, then?"

"It was from a... previous relationship. I only found out about it myself after Merlin and I were together. A few days after we found out, I lost it," she explains, eveything seemed so complicated in her mind, yet in reality it was all so simple.

"Does the father know you've miscarried?" Hunith asks, every word spoken quietly. She didn't even look that angry. Just concerned.

"No. He never even knew I was pregnant in the first place. Which I'm glad about."

"Glad?"

Merlin clears his throat and both women turn to look at him. "I'll go and make the tea," he says and then leaves them to talk – Morgana looked like she had everything under control.

"Nevermind."

"No, no. Tell me. I want to know," Hunith disagrees, moving up to sit where Merlin previously had.

"He was just a bit of a waster, that's all," Morgana tells her – technically it wasn't a lie.

"I see," Hunith says, clearly unconvinced. "And how does Merlin feel about all of this?"

Morgana glances at the door, checking Merlin was out of earshot for whatever reason. "At first he was angry – and I can't really blame him – but, then he was... I don't know. A few days ago he said he would've helped with the baby, which was surprising, really. Most guys would've probably left," she says, the words new to her, too. Any other man _would've_ left. She resists the sudden urge to go out into the kitchen and hug Merlin.

"He was always like that. Always wanted to help people. To see the good in them."

Hunith was right and she hadn't even realized it before. Merlin had gone from agreeing that they were both relieved about the miscarriage to saying that he would have raised the child as his own. Morgana sits there, stunned. It was quite a change of opinion.

He walks in a few minutes later, trying to hold three mugs in two hands without burning himself. She smiles at his efforts and as soon as he sets them down on the coffee table, she flies off of the sofa and winds her arms around his neck.

"Thanks," she whispers.

"That's the best reaction I've ever had to a cup of tea."

**Sorry for the wait for this chapter, but I hope it was okay! Now Hunith knows what's really going on, it's a bit easier. **

**Anyway, please review and tell me what you think! Do you think Hunith was OC? What about the car crash thing? **

**I am also starting a new Merlin/Morgana story, which probably isn't the best idea, but it's quite short and will probably only be about 7 or 8 chapters. Feel free to read it! **

**Thank you for reading!**

**Next chapter: Morgana _finally _gets that letter from Afghanistan.**


	20. Chapter 20

"Can someone get the post please?" Merlin yells from the kitchen.

Morgana starts to get up but Hunith beats her to it, sweeping out of the room at quite a speed.

"You have to get it as soon as possible otherwise Aithusa will try and eat it," she calls to her from the hallway, scooping up the envelopes.

"I thought it was dogs who did that?"

"Maybe Aithusa is a dog then. A big untamed beast," Hunith jokes as she walks in again, shuffling the letters around to look at them in turn.

"Anything for me?" Morgana asks half-heartedly.

"Um... yeah, here's one," Hunith hands her a big brown envelope. "It's got one of those air-mail things on it. Have you got friends abroad?"

"A brother. In Afghanistan," Morgana states.

"Army?"

"Yes. It's funny, we always used to have arguments about who got the most post when we were younger. We used to sign up to all sorts of things just so we could get newsletters sent through to us and then we'd see who had the most by the end of each month. I remember hiding some of Arthur's letters in my sock drawer so he couldn't find them," she says with a devilish smile. "Uther was furious with us. Kept saying about how we'd probably cut down half of the Amazon rainforest for our little game. So me and Arthur got him back by getting all of these womanly perfumes samples to the house in his name."

"You both sound like you were lovely children," Hunith remarks with a grin on her face.

"We were. And then when Uther went out, we sprayed them all over his clothes and he couldn't wash the perfume out for weeks. We always said silly things about him meeting new women and then ran upstairs giggling," she continues, smiling at the memory.

"I'm sure he was most pleased by that. Aren't you going to open it?" Hunith asks, nodding at the still closed envelope.

"Oh... yeah."

Hunith goes out into the kitchen to give Merlin his post and Morgana opens up her letter. She scans the page quickly, not really paying it much attention, until the words 'missing in action' catch her eye. She reads on to find apologies littered all over the paper, staring at the words until her eyes go out of focus.

This wasn't _fair_. Arthur had only gone back a few days ago and now he'd gone missing. In action. What the hell was that supposed to mean? That he really was missing or that he was already dead and they just hadn't found him yet. Like a preparation for the worst. A warning. She blinks and shakes her head to clear it. She was _not_ going to lose him, or anyone else for that matter. She'd already suffered enough for this to happen.

About to crumple the piece of paper and burst into tears of absolute desperation, she stops. _What would Merlin do?_

So she folds the letter in half and slots it carefully back into the torn envelope.

Hunith comes back in with Aithusa in her arms, prodding the cat with a frown. "She's definitely getting fatter, don't you think?"

Morgana nods, not really listening. "I guess so."

"Well, I hope she's not got kittens on the way, things are going to get a bit hectic otherwise," she comments, a bit troubled. "Anyway, what was your letter about?"

"Just that they've moved to a different base in another part of the country. Nothing to worry about," Morgana says smoothly, surprised at the ease of the words. When had she become so good at lying? Usually she was awful at it and Merlin could see straight through her. "I'm just going to put it upstairs," she goes on and then leaves the room.

She wouldn't have to keep this up for long. Just a few more days and then they'd find Arthur again and then everything would be okay. He had promised to write letters to her this time, so she could receive those and learn about what his life was like over there, what they were doing and about the people he worked with. And then he'd come home for things like Christmas and they could have a New Years party and just celebrate silly things and get hopelessly drunk. That's what she had to keep telling herself, because if she thought it enough then it had to come true. That's what her father had always told her.

So she repeats the story over and over again in her mind as she runs up the stairs and shoves the letter under her pillow. Maybe it wasn't the best place to hide it, but she could think of somewhere else later. And Merlin was leaving tonight anyway, so there wasn't much chance of him finding it.

"Morgana, what are you doing?"

She jumps at his voice and swears at him. Merlin laughs and walks over to her.

"Now, what did I say about you swearing?"

She glares at him and he laughs harder.

"It's _unladylike_."

"Mm, so why do you keep doing it, then?"

"Because I was never a lady in the first place," Morgana provides him, haughtily.

"We'll see. Hopefully when you kiss me I'll transform into a handsome prince," Merlin teases her so she kisses him quickly and then peers up at him.

"Nope, no changes yet," she informs him, poking him in the shoulder.

"You'd better keep trying then," he says with a roguish grin and she can't resist, pressing her lips fiercely against his over and over again, desperate to throw all of her thoughts from the past 5 minutes to the wind. The warm, repeated pressure seems to last forever, her lips becoming harder and harsher against his, until he pulls away frowning.

"Morgana..."

"Shut up," she mumbles, kissing him again and edging her hands up under his t-shirt. He moans quietly at the sensation of her cool hands on his warm stomach and starts trailing his lips down her neck. She manages to slip his t-shirt up and over his head, kissing the exposed skin and tossing the fabric behind her. His fingers tangle themselves in her hair and the other arm sneaks around her waist, holding her closer.

He should stop this. Right now. He should have resisted earlier, should never have started this in the first place because it isn't fair on either of them. They should be waiting 2 months to do anything like this, not 2 weeks.

But everything just feels so good, their bodies flush against each other and burning hotter by the second. He shouldn't want her now, not like this, but he does. He has only been allowed to have her once and that was the better part of three weeks ago, another 2 month wait will be the death of him.

Her fingers are fiddling around with his belt now, but he pushes her hands away, using them to guide her backwards towards the bed. Her back comes into contact with the soft mattress and he leans over her, wasting no time in sliding his own hands under her blouse, stroking over her ribs and then lifting her up slightly to run his palms up and down her tingling spine.

He delights in her shiver and bends down to renew contact between their lips again, bringing his hands back round to smooth them up her sides. The friction heats her skin, spreading through her ribs, arms and down to her centre. Not wanting to be idle herself, Morgana brings her hands back up to try and get off his belt again, but can't. Frustrated, she touches him through his trousers instead and he gasps out, biting down lightly on her shoulder to stop any other sounds from coming out.

He stops his actions and disappointment flickers through her. "Are you sure?" He asks, conflicted. "I don't want to hurt you. We're not even supposed to be doing this yet, Christ."

"I'm sure," she confirms and he starts pushing her jeans down and off of her hips, pulling them off of her feet and placing them to the side. He starts tracing pattens over her thighs with his fingertips, not going any higher to where she wants him.

"Merlin..." she groans, raking her nails through his hair. She just wants to forget. To lose herself, only if it's just for a few minutes.

"I know, but I don't want it to hurt," he says, his eyes rapidly alternating between strong concern and intense desire. She wonders which feeling is the strongest.

"It wont," she promises him, her voice more gentle now, almost soft. "Please."

"But if it does hurt, you'll tell me, won't you?"

"Yes," she hisses out, annoyed at the sudden lack of intimacy between them.

"Okay," he breathes and starts unzipping his own trousers just as Hunith calls up the stairs:

"Merlin, it's 5 o'clock now! You have to leave in 15 minutes!"

He lets out an exasperated sigh and pulls her up to sit on his thighs with her legs tucked around his waist. "I'm sorry," he apologises and kisses her hair.

"It's fine," she whispers into his bare shoulder, suddenly reminded of his naked chest and her naked legs. "It could've been worse. She could've walked in on us."

"Oh, yeah, that would've been fun," Merlin says sarcastically and Morgana hums her agreement, using her finger to draw lines to connect the small freckles on his arm.

"I suppose we should go down, now. Otherwise she will come up."

"Just one more minute," he says childishly and positions his hands on her back to secure her. "I'm not going to see you for a whole weekend so we need to make the most of this."

"I thought that's what we were doing 30 seconds ago?" She asks with a smile and sees his shoulders slump in defeat. "You can make it up to me when you get back."

"Yes ma'am."

"Shut up. You're making it sound like 50 Shades of Grey or something."

"Well, you'd know."

She slaps his shoulder, forcing herself to look outraged. "I have never read that book in my entire life!"

Merlin raises an eyebrow at her. "Not even those copies I found in one of your carrier bags? Hidden in one of your t-shirts?"

"Merlin!" She hits him again, harder this time and it stings.

"What I don't understand is why you brought them here in the first place," he muses, with a smug grin on his face.

"I get bored easily."

He frowns."What, like in a sexual way?"

"Maybe. You'll never know," she says cryptically.

"Did you get bored with me?"

"_Especially_ with you," she tells him and his face falls. "Merlin, I was joking."

A bemused smile appears on his face. "Good, that's good."

"Why are you so worried about it?"

"I, um... I'm not. I mean... I wasn't."

"You are, so tell me," Morgana tries to persuade him but Hunith interrupts them again.

"Get a move on, Merlin! You're leaving in 5 minutes!"

Morgana points a finger at him. "I'm not letting you off the hook. As soon as you get back I'm going to get it out of you."

"We'll see. Now come on, we should get dressed before my Mum comes up," Merlin says and she gets off of him. Reluctantly.

**. . .**

The two women stand by the front door to wave him off as he drives down the road, beeping the car horn at them. As soon as he is out of sight, they quickly shut the door, shivering.

Morgana is the first to complain about the weather. "Why is it so cold? It's April for God's sake."

"I think you're forgetting which country we live in," Hunith says in a cheerful voice. "Cup of tea?"

"Yes, thanks. Your ones are the best, even better than Merlin's." She pauses. "And mine."

"I'm not the one who puts milk in the kettle though, am I?" Hunith asks, laughing.

"Wow, Merlin really does tell you everything, doesn't he?"

"Apparently so. But I like to think of it as a good thing. You don't tell me things though, do you Morgana?" Hunith sighs and flicks on the kettle.

She blinks. "I'm sorry?"

"You. Today. Can I see your letter, please?"

"Why?"

"Because you lied to me about it," she says simply.

"How... how do you know?"

"Doesn't matter. But please, I really want to read it," Hunith pleads with her.

Morgana shrugs hesitantly. "If you really want to."

"I do."

"Alright, then," she says slowly, still unsure of Hunith's motive. But she brings the letter down anyway and they sit on the sofa while Hunith examines it, a pair of glasses pushed high up her nose.

"Oh, Morgana, don't get upset. Please." She pulls the younger woman into hug and reaches for a tissue to soak up the tears. "Please, don't cry. There's no need, honestly."

"But he could be dead! He probably is dead!" Morgana manages between sobs.

"He's not, I promise you!"

"How- how do you know? It's in the letter!"

"Morgana. The letter is fake. It's been forged."

**Okay, so this chapter was a little different to anything I've written before – AKA the romantic bit – because I thought the story was becoming a bit boring, so I tried to liven it up a tad! Sorry if it was a rubbish attempt, the only people I've ever kissed are my family, haha. **

**Oh, and I wonder who could have forged that letter? Hmm, it's a mystery. I have no idea who it could be... Do you?**

**Sorry this chapter took a while to get out, but I quite like it to be honest and I never say things like that! **

**Please review and tell me what you think - it's like a hug for me!**

**Thank you for reading and for your reviews, follows and favourites! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Warning: Jammie Dodgers are mentioned in this chapter :D**

For 45 minutes, Morgana had thrown things around and made promises to God that she was going to kill whoever forged that letter.

After the TV remote had been thrown at the wall and the coffee table had been kicked at multiple times, Hunith had grabbed hold of her hands to stop her from lashing out at anything else and sat them both down on the sofa, letting her cry everything out. To Morgana, it felt like she had either been crying for 10 hours or 10 minutes – there was no in-between. She had no concept of time. Just anger and fear and so many other emotions they were all jumbled up like wires.

Relief was one of them. Arthur wasn't actually dead. Or missing. He was safe, for now. Maybe he'd even get round to writing to her soon. But maybe someone wanted him to hurt. Or maybe they just wanted to hurt her.

"I'm sorry, I've gotten your cardigan all wet," Morgana apologises, patting at Hunith's tear-stained sleeve.

"I've had much worse things spilt on me, so I wouldn't worry about it," Hunith reassures her, dabbing a tissue to her pale, wet cheeks. "Do you feel a bit better now?"

"Yes. Well, less like I want to murder someone."

"I suppose that's a good start," the older woman says with a faint smile and then sits up straighter. "Now. Do you have any idea who might have done this?"

"Oh, um, no," Morgana frowns.

"Anyone you don't like? Somebody you don't get on with?" Hunith tries going deeper into the problem.

"Well, there are a lot of people I don't particularly like, but-"

"Who?" Hunith cuts in.

"I don't know, there was this guy in town the other day who started yelling at me for no reason. And there was this woman at work called Angela who dared me to sit on a photocopier and got me fired and I don't really like her."

Hunith raises an eyebrow at her. "You sat on a photocopier?"

"It wasn't my finest hour."

"I doubt it was. Anyway," she picks up a shopping list notepad and a pen and then puts her reading glasses on. "Is there someone you don't like at the moment – who you actually know – that doesn't like you, either?"

"You could put Alvarr down. We're not really getting on at the moment," Morgana suggests, a bit half-heartedly. Did they really have to do this now?

"Right, how do you spell that?"

"You can just put shit-face..."

Hunith sends her a questioning glance, one Morgana mistakes as a look of distaste.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to swear!"

"I see Merlin's got that drummed into you, as well?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm not very good at making first impressions."

"I'd say you were doing okay," Hunith disagrees with a small shrug of her tiny shoulders. "So, why don't you get on with this 'shit-face', then?"

Morgana giggles at her words. "It sounds funny when you say it."

"You still haven't answered the question."

"Oh, yes. You know I told you about the previous relationship I was in? Well, that's him," Morgana explains, trying to keep it short. It seems Hunith had other ideas.

"The one that got you pregnant?" She asks, a bit more bluntly than usual.

"Yes."

"And now you've split up for whatever reason and you don't like each other?" Hunith clears everything up and Morgana is beginning to feel thankful she hadn't asked any more questions. "Do you know why he'd want to forge a letter like this?"

"I don't know. He's the sort of person that probably would do something like this out of spite, but he hasn't exactly got the brains to do it."

"So could someone have helped him do it?" Hunith asks, scribbling more notes down.

"I haven't really thought about it," Morgana says with a frown, this idea new to her. "I guess so, but I don't know who would've helped him. Most people who know Alvarr hate him. Arthur and him never really got on, but it was mostly sneering remarks when the other one was out of earshot. Nothing physical."

"What about you and Alvarr? Were _you_ physical?" Hunith asks, not really looking up.

Morgana just stares at her, mouth slightly agape. Merlin's mother was definitely psychic. Maybe it was in the genes. Or maybe she was Sherlock in disguise. Or probably just very clever.

"A bit," she decides, hesitantly.

Hunith stops writing and puts her pen down, looking at her fondly. "How much is a bit?"

"A few bruises here and there. It was nothing, really," she says, trying to get off of the subject but Hunith is having none of it.

"Did he hit you?"

"No. It wasn't like that."

Hunith takes her hand and shifts to sit cross-legged on the sofa, a familiar concerned look forming on her face. It was the same one Merlin used. "What was it like, then?"

Morgana's shoulders slump. "Hunith..."

"Have you talked to anyone about this? Properly, I mean?" Did she ever run out of questions?

"No."

"You're going to have to talk to the police about it soon, so you can talk to me about it if you want. Get some practise so you know what you're going to say?" Hunith tells her the proposition and then unexpectedly leaves the room.

The police? She hadn't thought it would go that far. It was really just threatening and sometimes pain to go with it. But it was nothing much. Nothing she couldn't have handled. Before she can think about it any more, Hunith comes back in with a packet of Jammie Dodgers in her hand. She sits down again and opens up the wrapper, then wafts the biscuits in front of Morgana's face.

"You're bribing me with biscuits?"

"Not any kind of biscuit. Jammie Dodger biscuits," Hunith says in a mysterious voice, still waving the packet around. "Now, tell me how you feel. About Alvarr. About everything," she continues in a mystical tone that some kind of fortune-teller would use.

"Okay, but I need the Jammie Dodgers first."

"Fine," she goes back to her normal voice in an instant and takes a biscuit out of the wrapper, handing it to Morgana. "Now spill the beans."

"Arrbouht wauht?" Morgana asks, regretting shoving the whole of the round biscuit into her mouth at once. She was surprised it could fit, actually. The dentist had always said she had a small mouth, but Arthur had tended to disagree.

"Alvarr. How he makes you feel," Hunith prompts her.

"Worthless. Stupid. Guilty. Trapped," she lists after finishing munching on her biscuit.

"Trapped?"

"Yeah. Like I couldn't have anything for myself or do anything without him knowing," Morgana explains. "He had all the control."

"What sort of things did you argue about?"

"Silly, petty things. He had a go at me the night I met Merlin. We were just friends at that point, but he said I couldn't see him again." She makes the decision not to mention the hand-holding.

"Because he was jealous?"

"I guess so. But we were only friends," Morgana insists. "He didn't have much to be jealous of."

"Did he hurt you that night?"

"Yeah, I think he grabbed my wrist. But Merlin came off worse because he was punched in the face," she recalls, feeling a bit ashamed of Alvarr's unnecessary actions that night. "But, um, Hunith... Do we have to tell the police? It's not as though he was actually beating me. Lots of women have it much worse."

"And what if it turns out that he was the one who forged that letter? Are you going to let that slide as well?" Hunith asks in a firm tone.

"Well, I'll, um..."

"The thing is, Morgana, that he's weakened you. You might not be able to see it, and I know I've only known you for a few days, but I can and I think Merlin can too-"

"Merlin thinks I'm weak?" She asks, taken aback by this. She'd always thought of herself as a strong-minded, independent woman, not the kind to get ordered around by some low-life and end up having to live with someone she barely knew.

That was when she realised that she was entirely dependent on Merlin. He was, hopefully, going to get this brand new job, albeit in a factory, on about ￡18,000 a year. He had been the source of income when she'd stupidly got herself fired from that nice, stable office job that she could have stayed in for five or more years.

Merlin did most of the shopping, cleaning, paying the bills. She was no housewife, or girlfriend, but maybe she should start helping more, it wasn't fair otherwise. In her own defence, she'd suffered a miscarriage but that wasn't much of an excuse. The old Morgana would've bounced back from that quite easily, no matter how awful she felt. Maybe Merlin was right.

"No, no! Morgana, I get the impression that you are a very strong woman, but your self-confidence has taken a knock and I think it's time that you take back some control over your own life, don't you?"

Morgana stares at her, almost shocked by the sudden outburst of inspirational words and her own thoughts. "You're right," is all she can say.

"I'm always right, but you need to go to sleep," Hunith orders and points at the clock. The display reads 22:07.

"When did it get so late?"

"You cried for about 2 hours."

"Really? How embarrassing," Morgana says quietly, her cheeks going pink. She really had to get a hold of herself.

"How is it embarrassing? You were upset. But you should really get some rest now. Okay?"

"Fine," she says, mid-yawn. "But I'm taking the Jammie Dodgers up."

"Night, then," Hunith brings her into a tight hug and kisses her forehead. "You're so brave," she whispers.

Morgana pulls away and smiles briefly at her. "Goodnight Hunith. And thanks. For what you said," she says finally, grateful of the older woman's words of support.

Then she shuts the living room door and digs out her mobile phone from her coat that had been hanging on the bannister at the bottom of the stairs. The lock-screen picture is one of Aithusa making a swipe at the phone after Morgana had tried taking a peaceful picture of the cat while she was sleeping. The demonic look on Aithusa's furry face as she launches herself at the device with her claws out is something that always makes Morgana smile.

Almost reluctantly, the phone is unlocked with a simple slide of her thumb across the screen and the contact list is opened. His is still the first one that comes up. A for Alvarr. She has no idea why didn't delete the number about 2 months ago. They never used to text or call each other anyway. At least it was coming in useful now.

'We need to talk,' is the message she sends him.

**Guess who's late? I am! I apologise for the horribly long wait for this chapter but I hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**I wrote a bit of a turning point for Morgana and also, Hunith is fun to write! Maybe I'll keep her in it for a bit longer, what do you think?**

**Anyway, please review and tell me your thoughts! Good or bad, preferably both so I can improve! I'm very nearly at a 100 reviews and thank you so much for your support so far! **

**Oh and today I got tickets to go and see Colin Morgan in 'The Tempest' at the Globe Theatre! *dances off into the sunset* **

Next Chapter: Morgana confronts Alvarr over her letter.


	22. Chapter 22

**Ready for slightly insane Alvarr?**

Morgana has decided that she will meet Alvarr on a bench in the park. It is a Saturday afternoon, which means there are a lot of children and families around to help her if she gets into trouble. He hasn't arrived yet and she starts to wonder if he is coming at all, he was always one for false promises.

She must look lonely sat on that bench by herself for half an hour, because at one point a young boy, who looked no more than the age of six, comes and sits next to her.

"Hello," he says, without much hesitation.

Morgana turns to him, surprised at his confidence at such a young age. "Hello."

"I'm lost."

"Hi Lost, I'm Morgana. Nice to meet you."

The boy looks at her, slightly confused and then grins at her. She feels immensely proud at this.

"You're funny."

"Thank you. Why are you lost, then?"

"Well," the boy begins in an important voice. "I was in the slide in the play park over there and my Mum went to get ice-cream for me at the ice-cream van. But then I got bored on the slide, so I went to go and find my Mum, but she was nowhere!" He throws his arms in the air for dramatic effect. "And then I saw you on the bench and I thought you looked a bit sad, so I came and sat next to you."

"I'm not sad. I'm just waiting for someone," she reassures him. "Do you think we should try and find your Mum?"

"But I thought when you were lost you had to stay where you were?"

She pauses for a moment. "That's true. You're not supposed to talk to strangers either."

"And?" He asks.

"I'm a stranger."

He frowns at her. "Yes, but you're a _nice_ stranger. You're Morgana. You're funny. And you're looking after me. I'd say we were friends."

"Friends?" They'd only known each other for a minute. That was the thing with children, though. They just trusted everyone and played with anyone, no matter who they were. This boy was fairly small and skinny. He looked a bit like Merlin, with the dark hair and the pale skin, feet dangling off the side of the bench because his legs aren't long enough.

"Yes. Friends," he confirms. "I don't have many friends."

"I find that hard to believe," Morgana says with a small smile, developing a slight fondness for the boy.

"People at school think I'm weed."

Morgana stares at him. What on Earth was he talking about? "I beg your pardon?"

"You know, _weed._ They say I'm strange," he continues dejectedly, swinging his legs back and forth.

"Oh, weird!" Morgana exclaims, finally understanding what he meant.

He looks at her with a mixture of hurt and confusion, his face crumpling. "You think I'm weed too, don't you?" Tears start rolling down over his chubby cheeks.

"Of course not!" She delves around her coat pockets for a tissue. She had forgotten how easy it was to upset a child. But it could also be very easy to make them feel happy again. She finally manages to find an unused tissue and hands it to him to wipe the tears away, but he has already done that with the end of his scarf. So he just holds the tissue and strokes the soft texture with one of his fingers.

"It's cold, isn't it?" He asks suddenly, completely off topic from a second ago. "I'm glad I've got my scarf on."

"I bet you are. Did you go out in the snow a few weeks ago?"

He turns to her with a massive grin on his face, blue eyes shining. "Oh, yes! I love the snow! Mum even let me buy a sledge this year! We have this massive, gigantic hill outside our house and I went sledging down it! And then I fell out and hurt my leg! Look!" He pulls up his trouser leg to show off a purple bruise and a graze on his knee. "There was so much blood I thought I was going to die!" He exclaims with an astonished expression.

"Really?" Morgana asks, trying to match his shocked tone. "Then it _must _haven been awful!"

"It was! Did you go out in the snow?"

She smiles at him. He seemed to like this topic a lot. "Yeah, I did. I don't have a sledge though-"

"You can borrow mine!" He interrupts brightly.

She shakes her head with an amused smile. "I don't think I'd fit in it. Anyway, I just made a snowman and had a snowball fight."

"That's cool! Who did you do that with?"

"My boyfriend."

"Ooooh," he says with a giggle and she blushes. "Are you in love?"

"Yes, I think we are."

"You _think_ you are?"

"No, no. We are in love."

"That's good then. What's his name?"

"Merlin."

The boy gasps excitedly and claps his hands together. "What, like the wizard? Can he do spells?"

Morgana laughs kindly. "I don't think so."

"Do you think he'll turn me into a frog?"

"Um, no-"

"Are you a princess?"

"No, sorry."

He frowns again. "You should be. You're very pretty. Yes, you're the princess, Merlin is the prince and I'm the... I can be..."

"You can be the brave, handsome knight who saves the damsel and defeats the dragon," Morgana suggests.

"Oh, no!" He disagrees, looking aghast. "I think dragons are good! I'll go and defeat all the horrible monsters who make people sad."

She looks at him in wonder. If she ever has a child like this then she'll be doing okay. "That's a better idea."

"It is, isn't it? I have lots of good ideas," he says proudly. "Even my Mum thinks so!"

"What kind of ideas?"

"Good ones," he replies vaguely. "I write them down in a book so I don't forget."

"You can write? Already? How old are you?"

"Well, I don't actually write them. I _draw_ them. And I'm six years, three months and twenty-eight days," he says with a serious nod.

"You're counting the days, too?"

"Of course! I'm good at counting."

"What's the highest number you can get up to?"

He pauses to think. "I don't know."

"Shall we find out?" He nods and she feels relieved. This ought to keep him busy for a while. "Should we count together?" He nods again and they do so.

They manage to get to seventy-eight with Morgana's help, before a blonde woman comes rushing around the corner with a terrified look on her face. She spots them on the bench and looks like she wants to collapse from exhaustion.

Morgana taps the boy on the arm and points to her. "Is that your Mum?"

He follows the direction of her finger and then slips off of the bench. "Yeah. I've got to go now." he turns to wave at her with his small hand and then skips off to the blonde woman who looks as though she wants to slap him and hug him at the same time. Fortunately, she chooses the hugging option followed by what appeared to be some stern words afterwards. And then the woman has come over to the bench and is hugging her as well, whispering 'thank you' over and over again.

"It's okay," Morgana says awkwardly, her voice muffled by a wave of blonde hair.

"Do you want me to give you money? I can buy you tea or... or coffee or flowers or whatever you want?" She rushes, taking Morgana's hand.

"I don't want anything. I would've done it for anyone. Not that I actually did much," Morgana insists and the woman seems to understand.

"Okay, okay, but honestly thank you. Mordred come and say thank you!"

"Thanks Morgana," he says happily. He tugs on his mother's sleeve. "Mum... can Morgana come round? I want to show her my book of good ideas."

"Maybe some other time," his Mum says. "Come on, we need to get you home now. Thanks again, oh, what was it? Morgana? Thanks Morgana!" The two start walking away.

"Don't forget that you can borrow my sledge!" Mordred shouts back with a grin. "And ask Merlin if he's a wizard!"

"I will!" She shouts, laughing. They disappear from view.

"Looks like you made a friend," a man says from behind her and she jumps around to face them.

"Do you have to do that?" She snaps and Alvarr shrugs with a smug expression on his face. He comes around to stand in front of the bench. "Aren't you going to sit down?"

"No. I think it would be best if we walked and talked." He offers her an arm but she gets up on her own.

"I didn't think you were coming," Morgana admits as the turn the corner, going past the park Mordred had just been talking about.

"Don't sound so disappointed."

"I'm not. I wanted to talk to you. About the letter," she starts.

"I don't want to talk about letters, Morgana. I want to talk about us."

"How original. I don't think there ever was an _us_, Alvarr. We were just two people living together, pretending we were in love and trying to make the most of the situation."

He laughs cruelly. "That's it."

"That's what?"

"Pretend. Pretend you don't want me. That you don't miss the excitement. I bet you don't get that with Merlin, do you?"

"I get normality with Merlin. We argue about who ate the last of the cornflakes, not about selling drugs," she says with a smirk. _That_ had sounded good. Hunith would be proud of her.

"Low blow," he shrugs.

"Merlin doesn't hurt me either."

"I don't hurt you."

She snorts. "Obviously. What was it then? Were you just keeping me in my place?"

"Of course. That's what women like you need."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Women need to be weak and scared. You're only here for sex and having children. Nothing more. Women aren't important. But you were. You were clever and bold and you needed it knocked out of you. So that's what I did. Every time you disobeyed me. You needed it drilled into your stupid little head that you only did what I told you to do. It was for your own good, really."

"How very thoughtful of you. My life has been thoroughly enhanced thanks to you Alvarr. I'll make sure to mention you if I win an Oscar." She smiles at her own words, this was rather fun. She really wished Hunith was here to witness it.

"What will you be winning the Oscar for?"

"Oh, I don't know, but I can imagine the speech now. 'Yes, I'd just like to thank my beloved husband, Merlin, who's been with me through thick and thin and I'd also like to say hello to my darling children who are watching this at home! Oh, and before I forget, I'd like to mention my ex-boyfriend, Alvarr, for beating me for over a year just for my own good.'"

"Wow. I'm touched."

"I'm glad. So basically, you just felt intimidated by my presence, then?"

At this point, his hand grabs for her wrist, squeezing tightly and . "Not quite."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Morgana hisses at him in panic, trying to wrench herself free. This was _not_ part of the plan. She hated it when he was in control of her. Like she was some kind of baby bird being dragged away by the menacing fox.

"We're going back to mine. I want to talk in private."

"I don't want to go back to your house. You can't make me."

He takes his mobile out of his coat pocket with his free hand and puts in a number. "I have a friend of mine waiting outside Merlin's house ready to do whatever I tell him to do to that mother of his if you don't come with me."

She wants throw up, but manages to carry on walking. "You're lying."

"Do you really want to take that chance?"

"You don't even know where Merlin lives."

"I've been doing my research. Phone trackers are very useful things."

"You're insane," she whispers, mainly to herself. This was going awfully, horribly wrong. Tears sting at the corners of her eyes. She desperately wants to be sat back on that bench with Mordred talking about his book of good ideas or talking with his mother over a cup of tea. Or with Hunith eating Jammie Dodgers. Or cuddling with Aithusa.

What she really wants is for Merlin to be casually walking through the park and to come and save her. Alvarr would be arrested for... something and Merlin would take her home and tell her he loved her and that he'd never leave her. He'd kiss her hair and tell her she was beautiful and tell her that she was all he wanted and she was everything he cared about and he'd put her first. That was all _she_ really wanted. Someone who would appreciate her and look after her.

"Probably," Alvarr says calmly, breaking her out of her impossible fantasy. "But just remember that you made me like this, okay? It's your fault I'm like this."

"How is it _my_ fault?"

"You a such a stupid woman, Morgana. And there I was thinking I'd managed to get that out of you," he says with mock pity and she wants to slap him.

"I am _not_ stupid."

Alvarr yawns. "So you keep saying. Can we talk about Merlin?"

"I didn't think you liked him that much."

"I don't. I just want to know what you see in him, that's all. What's he got that I haven't?"

She stops walking, despite him clinging onto her arm, and almost keels over from laughter. Alvarr glares at her, people are starting to look. That is the last thing he wants - people noticing them together. Then Morgana finally stops laughing and answers him.

"We have a lot in common."

"Like what? Stupidity? Foolishness?"

"Well, we both actually care about each other for a start."

"I see." They come to the end of the park and begin walking down the main road to his house.

"I don't want to go in." Morgana says bluntly as they stand by the front door. She refuses to go any further. There are far too many bad memories associated with this place and she has no sudden desire to go back inside. She shakes her head to clear it. It was a house, not a prison.

"I can still make that phone call if you'd like?"

"No thanks," she says quickly and reluctantly steps inside the building.

It still smells dreadful. Like cigarette smoke and alcohol and... something else. Maybe she doesn't want to know. The broken glass is still at the bottom of the stairs and there are several more empty crisp packets strewn over the faded carpet than last time. He takes her into the living room.

"Sit down."

Morgana does as he orders without thinking twice, seating herself gingerly on the sofa. She clears her throat as he just watches her. "So um, what... what did you want to talk about? In private?"

"We're going to talk-" He stops speaking when another man walks into the room. Morgana stares at the man in horror. There was no mistaking him this time. It was definitely the ginger man she'd seen here previously when she'd come to take back her belongings and the doctor who had checked her over at the hospital. He seems to recognise her too, eyes focussing on her face. "This is Sammy," Alvarr introduces them. "Well, Sarum, but he prefers it as Sammy."

'Sammy' is still watching her, eyes unblinking. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"No! I mean, I doubt it. I've never seen you before in my life," Morgana says in such a rush that Alvarr gives her an odd look.

"He's good with faces," Alvarr says suspiciously and she feels her stomach flip upside-down,

"You're the woman from the hospital aren't you? That's it! I thought I knew you from somewhere!"

"Hospital?" Alvarr turns to her with a frown. "What did you go to the hospital for?"

"It doesn't matter, it was just a small incident where-"

"Tell me what happened," Alvarr says to Sarum with a sigh.

"You mean you didn't know?"

"Know what?"

She wants to be sick. She should run out of the house right now. Phone for Hunith to come and help her. Instead she stays rooted to her spot on the sofa, watching everything unravel before her eyes.

"That she was pregnant."

**Oh dear, Morgana's gotten herself into a spot of bother!**

**Thank you so much for your lovely reviews! I'm glad that quite a lot of you are liking the Morgana/Hunith relationship because I am too! They're wonderful to write together.**

**I think this chapter may be one of my better ones , a long one too – well, I think so. I got two new characters in there which I am pleased about, especially Mordred. He has quite an important part in this story, but more towards the end of it all. **

**Anyway! Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter - what you liked and what you didn't! I enjoy every single review I get! **

**Oh and also it's my birthday on Saturday! Yay! See if you can guess how old I'm going to be! **

**Thanks for reading my little story! :)**


	23. Chapter 23

******* - Is a warning for possible triggers.**

He hasn't said anything yet, just keeps sending her disgusted glances and clenching and unclenching his fists. Sammy has left the house, saying he needed to get something. Probably to get away from Alvarr. The coward inside her wants to run away, too.

But cowardice was for the old Morgana. She was the new Morgana now. The strong, bold one, who didn't need anyone, could face this. Alvarr was nothing special and she wasn't scared of him. He couldn't hurt her now. She had some kind of immunity that the old version of herself hadn't had. She'd been fully upgraded.

"Say something then," she snaps in a crueller tone the she'd intended and he whips his head around to look at her. He doesn't even look that angry. Yet.

She knew he would be soon and this was just his way of building up to it. The deceitful calm before the storm. A raging storm that could knock her for six if she was caught off guard. But she was most definitely keeping her guard up. Mentally putting up a wall between him and her. Hunith said that could help in situations like this. Imagining an invisible bubble that nothing could get through.

"What do you want me to say?" If she didn't know him better, she might be convinced into thinking that he really was okay with all of this.

"How you feel."

"Maybe it's best that I don't put how I feel into words."

"Well, then, how about-"

"I don't think I should put it into something physical either," he says wearily and sits down next to her. Morgana edges ever so slightly away from him.

"Okay. So, what emotions are you feeling?" She asks, cautiously this time. "Like... angry, upset, etcetera."

He turns to her with what looks like a smile. A genuine one. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him do that. Not smirking or rolling his eyes. This was probably all part of the façade.

"How could I possibly be angry? Not when we've created something in here," he rests a hand on her flat stomach. A cool one. Rigid. Not warm and comforting. Not like Merlin. No-one was like Merlin. Not to her. "So, how many months are you?"

Shit. He still thought she had it. "I'm not actually pregnant any more," she says in a loud whisper. She hated telling people this, watching their faces fall and listening to the 'it's okay Morgana. You probably just weren't ready' speech.

"Did you get rid of it?"

He sounds so insecure now. As if he'd been the weaker one in the relationship all along. Perhaps he was trying to make her think that. Hunith said that could happen, the man could make the woman feel as if it was their fault, like they were the ones that were doing the abusing.

"No. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I'd be able to do it. It never really appeared as an option to me," she says truthfully. The new Morgana always told the truth because she had her own opinions and she didn't care what other people thought of them.

"Why?"

"It's still a life, I suppose. No matter who has helped create it."

"Hm. Did you lose it then? Is that why you were in the hospital?" He waits, surprisingly enough, for her nod of confirmation to continue. "Didn't it hurt?"

"Yes. A lot," she replies curtly.

"And did it upset you?"

"Like I said, it was a loss of life."

"You don't seem overly bothered," he points out, a bit petulantly. "So, do you know why you lost it?"

"Something about the egg not being able to attach to the wall of the womb properly and it got flushed away. I don't know, I wasn't really listening," she says vaguely, not going into much detail on the matter. "They said it was a fairly common way to-"

She stops mid-sentence and stiffens like a statue because he pulls her into an embrace. Alvarr wasn't very good at hugs. It was very... awkward. Not very comforting at all. Not that she needed comforting.

She pulls away from his attempt at affection, straightens her back and stretches her legs, looking at the three years worth of wear red converses on her feet.

She clears her throat and says, "Anyway. I didn't come here for sympathy and I'm sorry that you had to find out about... everything like this, I came here to find out about this letter."

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Whoa, Morgana. I've just found out that I had a child, with _you_, and that I've lost it in under 5 minutes, give me a break will you? I just want to think about this for a minute," he says in a strangely calm voice. Usually he'd have given her at least a warning by now. She'd asked him too many personal questions and gone off topic too quickly, he would've shouted at her and stormed off to go and get drunk, or whatever it was he did. And here they were having as close to a normal conversation as they could get.

"Sorry," she apologizes. "I shouldn't have moved on so quickly."

"Yes, well you always were very flighty. Wanted something to run away to if life got too hard on you. Is that what Merlin is? An escape route?" He snarls at her, the once calm atmosphere snapping in two to reveal a much harsher one that she was used to.

"It's not like that. I _love_ him," she tells him, trying to get the words to stick in his mind and failing hopelessly.

"Love?" He laughs at the word and leans back on the sofa. "I don't know what it is you two have together, but it definitely isn't love."

"It _is_ love. Not that you'd know anything about it," she retorts.

"And how long have you known him? Two weeks? A month?"

"That's none of your concern," she snaps back. She _was_ in love with Merlin. _Is _in love, or whatever. Alvarr was just playing mind games. Planting a seed of doubt in her mind. She hoped it didn't grow.

"Of course, of course. Whatever you say, Morgana. So, have you fucked yet?" Alvarr asks, feigning disinterest.

"I would rather you didn't use that term to describe it."

"Aw, how sweet of you. What is it then? Shagging, sex... _making love_?" He says the last two words in a girlish voice, batting his eyelashes at her. "Get out of it Morgana and stop kidding yourself."

She scowls at her hands in her lap and then smirks. "Better than you," she says, deliberately quiet.

"Something you'd like to say?"

"He's better than you. One night with Merlin is better than a year with you."

He frowns. "So you've only done it once, then?"

"Yes, well, the miscarriage got in the way." She could regret these words later, now she just wanted to make Alvarr jealous. "If it hadn't and I hadn't been pregnant with you, then I might be with Merlin now. I could've had his child in my belly by now. How wonderful," she continues in a dreamy tone.

"What do you see in him?"

"Everything I didn't have with you. He's everything I want." Maybe she was taking this a bit too far. "Jealous?"

"Extremely. He's got everything I want. Everything I care about, he's just gone and stolen it from me," he says slowly, putting emphasis into his words. Making her listen to him.

"Like what?"

"You. He's taken you from-"

"You never cared for me. You didn't look after me like Merlin does now," she cuts in angrily and he glares at her.

"How dare you interrupt me?" He goes into and stands up and she does the same. She wants to argue with him, to settle everything out once and for all, but he pushes her back down again and grins wickedly. "You're scared of me, aren't you?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"I guess so. I've always wanted control," he muses, flexing his fingers and then clicking the joints. Then her phone vibrates in her pocket making the only noise in the room right now. "Who's that?"

"I don't know."

"Look at your phone then," he orders and she does so, frowning at the screen.

"It's Hunith. Merlin's mum."

"Answer it, then."

"But... what should I say?"

"Tell her you're okay. You'll be home soon."

She nods and brings the phone up to her ear. "Hello."

"_Morgana, sweetie, where are you? You've been gone for ages now, I've been worried sick."_

"I'm... with Alvarr, at his house. Can you, um, can you come and pick me up please? I don't feel well."

"_Yes, but where are you? Look, I'll disconnect and then you can text me the details okay?"_

"Yeah, okay," Morgana breathes down the line and then sends the address.

"Oh dear."

She expects him to be fuming, but he is sickeningly quiet. "What?"

"We don't have as much time as I'd like," he mutters.

"To do what?"

"About the miscarriage, you said it was fairly common for women to lose babies that way."

"Yes."

"Well, we can try again, can't we?"

"I don't want to try again. I want to go now," she says simply, standing up again and trying to brush past him. He moves to block the door, covering her only chance of escape.

"I thought you wanted to talk about the letter?"

"I'm not feeling well. We can talk about it some other time. Now, please, I want to go home," she tries to convince him into letting her go.

"Come on, Morgana. It won't take a minute. Hunith will be here soon, we need to make the most of the time we have left," he says with a coaxing smile. He takes her hand and leads her out of the living room and into the dining room.

"What are we doing here?"

* "No-one will see us back here," he takes her shoulders and kisses her gently, then guides her so that he back comes into contact with the wall.

"You can't do this. The doctor said I have to wait at least 3 months before doing this, otherwise-"

"I won't hurt you."

"But-"

"Shh."

He starts kissing her again, sliding his hands under her t-shirt and letting them roam over her back. She should be repulsed, kicking and biting at him, anything she can do to get him to stop, but she isn't. Everything is so compelling, she hasn't felt him touch her like this in such a long time.

"Stop," she manages to get out as he starts playing with the button on her jeans.

_Thud._

There is a blonde woman, pounding frantically on the window outside.

"Ignore her."

"But... I don't want to do this."

"It won't take long, I promise. Just keep quiet and then no-one can disturb us. You don't want Merlin to find out about this, do you?"

_Thud. Thud. Thud._

The woman is still there. She is crying, trying to shout something to her through the glass.

"I told you to ignore her."

"And I told you to stop."

The thudding has stopped and there is a loud bang that makes both of them jump.

"Get off of her." The woman is inside the house now. She must have kicked the door down.

Alvarr pulls away from her unexpectedly and Morgana falls to the floor, curling herself up into a ball.

"Or what?" He laughs, turning to face the woman who seems to smirk at this, despite her tears.

There is a loud, clanging sound that resonates through the entire house. She peeps up over her knees, to find Hunith with a frying pan and Alvarr on the floor. The blonde woman grabs for her arm and drags her out of the house and through the kicked down kitchen door.

**I guess I'm the most hated author of the week, then? :(**

**I don't really have much to say about this chapter, only that it took a darker turn then I was really expecting myself.**

**Anywho, please find some time to review and tell me your thoughts – what you liked and what you didn't like. That would be very helpful!**

**Thank you all for reviewing the last chapter and I hope this one was okay.**

**Thank you for reading! **


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you all for such wonderful reviews! :)**

"I wish I had hair like yours."

"What, dark and knotty?"

"It's not knotty," Morgause says with a frown. "It's lovely."

"Not knotty," Morgana repeats, a subconscious smile on her face.

She likes Morgause's living room. It's very warm. She likes her sofa, too. It's very comfortable. And the duvet was a nice touch. She pulls it higher up to her ears. Countdown was boring, though. All the letters and numbers and ticking were making her sleepy again.

She had woken up early this morning with a thumping headache and a very small recollection of what had happened the day before. Morgause, who was in fact the mother of the boy she'd taken care of in the park, had come into the living room and told her she had nothing to fear. She was okay now. Apparently. Then she had sat down on the sofa with her and let her rest her legs on her knees. She took it as a kind gesture. And now it was 7:39 in the morning and they were watching Countdown repeats.

"Do you mind me doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"This." Morgause continues stroking over her denim covered shins. "It's just that Mordred has these funny dreams about monsters eating his feet. This usually calms him down."

"Monsters eating his feet?"

"Mm. Perhaps I should stop letting him eat cheese on crackers before he goes to bed. They say that dairy products can make you dream more," Morgause says and then glances up at the ceiling.

"Does he know I'm here?"

"No. He's not here either. He's at his Dad's. That's where I was going to take him yesterday, after we'd been to the park."

"Oh, right," Morgana mumbles, curling a loose thread that had escaped from the end of the duvet around her index finger. She had quite been looking forward to seeing the little boy.

"Now, Morgana, I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to try and answer them in as much detail as you can," Morgause says in a serious tone that makes Morgana sit up straight.

"Is it going to be about yesterday?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry if any of the questions make you feel bad or uncomfortable-"

"Why would I feel uncomfortable? Nothing actually happened," Morgana says quietly, playing with the thread again.

"You're defending him. Why?"

"I'm not defending him. I'm just telling the truth. Nothing bad actually happened. He didn't hurt me," Morgana says stubbornly and frowning. She _wasn't_ defending Alvarr. He didn't deserve that. "Other woman can have it loads worse."

"Is that the excuse you've used all along?" Morgause asks with what sounded like sympathy. She didn't want sympathy. She just wanted to get on with her life.

"What do you mean 'all along'?"

"Hunith told me. And when you used to live next door we could hear him shouting," Morgause says with a pitying glance.

This made her irritated. She didn't want people to pity her and treat her like a child. She was a 24 year old woman living in the modern world, she didn't need help from anyone for anything. Instead, she asks, "Where is Hunith, anyway?"

"Upstairs in the spare room. She said she hurt her back – but she's okay," Morgause finishes quickly after seeing Morgana's worried expression. "I think we should get on with the questions now."

"Alright, but I want to ask; how did you know where I was yesterday?" Morgana asks, still confused about the whole thing.

"Hunith knocked on my door, next door to where you were, wielding a frying pan and saying she needed help. She said she thought you might be in trouble. I didn't know she was talking about you at that point, but I agreed to help anyway. Hunith said she couldn't get into the house you were in, something about the door being locked, and she asked if I could go round the back of the house and try and get in that way, so I did. The door wouldn't open at first so I kicked it down," Morgause explains casually.

"Bad-ass," Morgana comments, mainly to herself, and Morgause laughs.

"I don't think so. Then Hunith came in by the front door with her saucepan. She told me afterwards that she got some random passer-by, Percy his name was, to kick the door down for her. I expect Alvarr's getting a bit chilly in there by now, don't you think?" Morgause says with an amused smile.

Morgana just gapes at her. "You just left him in there? Unconscious?"

"You didn't know? Have you hit your head or something?" Morgause takes her chin gently in her palm and tilts her face to examine it. "You don't seem to remember much. What's the last thing you can remember from yesterday?"

"You pulling me out of the house," Morgana says in a confused tone as Morgause continues to check her over. That was the last thing that had happened, wasn't it? Before she'd woken up?"

"That's _it?_ Nothing else at all? You can't remember me talking to you?"

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing, just... has he done this to you? Did he hit you before I could get in? Morgana, if he has then you need to tell me. It's important.

"He's never hit me, I promise."

"Right, well, it's still domestic abuse and attempted rape, so he'll still go to prison."

"It wasn't like that," Morgana says desperately. "It wasn't even that bad, it's just me overreacting!"

"It's not!" Morgause shouts at her unexpectedly and Morgana flinches in shock. "That's ridiculous and stop being so stupid!"

"Sorry."

"No, Morgana, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout-"

"I'm going to see Hunith, now," Morgana mutters quietly and gets up to leave.

* * *

"She shouted at me."

"I heard."

"Do you think she's angry with me?"

"No, I just think she cares about you," Hunith says thoughtfully.

"She doesn't even know me," Morgana grumbles, her eyes burning into the duvet. "No-one does."

"I do." Hunith attempts to understand.

"Not really. You don't know what my favourite colour is."

"Purple?" Hunith hazards a guess and Morgana shakes her head.

"Red."

"Red is a nice colour. The first car I bought was red. I called it Susan," Hunith says with a slight smile. "It was a bloody awful car. I don't think it ever passed an M.O.T."

"Merlin says his car is called Englebert Humperdink."

"Yes, he is a fan of Eurovision," Hunith laughs. "Who have we got this year? Bonnie Tyler, isn't it?"

"Yeah, she's all right. Ireland have still probably got Jedward," Morgana sighs, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand.

"I suppose they're better than that Justin lad," Hunith says vaguely. "Morgana, are you okay? You seem a bit... distant."

"I miss Merlin," she states simply. One half of her wants Merlin to come back right away and make her laugh and watch silly TV shows like Eurovision and yell at her for putting foil in the microwave.

The other half never wants to look him in the eye again. Not after what's happened. What she _let _happen. He didn't really look like the sort of man who'd go round punching anyone who laid a finger on her. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe he'd hate her instead.

"Hunith... do you think... do you think that Merlin will be angry with me?" She asks slowly, afraid of the answer.

"Angry?"

"Yes," Morgana confirms, twiddling her thumbs in anticipation.

"I don't think so. You're aren't in the wrong, are you?"

"I guess not," she replies, unconvinced.

"Merlin would probably hate what had happened and would have wanted to have been here to help. I'm sure he'd be more angry at himself than anyone," Hunith says, looking down-hearted. "I think we should get you home now. You should go and thank Morgause. If it wasn't for her, who knows what might have happened."

"Fine," Morgana says reluctantly and goes downstairs again. Morgause says she'll get someone round to arrest Alvarr later.

* * *

As soon as Merlin comes through the front door she runs out and throws herself at him, legs wound high around his waist and arms around his neck. She clings to him like a child to it's mother and he nearly falls at one stage, but manages to get a hand out to steady himself. Hunith comes out to greet him too and he tries to put Morgana down but she won't loosen her grip.

"I missed you," she whispers into his shoulder. He only just manages to hear.

"I missed you, too," he replies, louder than she had. Hunith comes forward and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and a brief smile.

"I'll leave you to it."

Merlin looks at her with a frown, clearly wanting to say or ask something else, but decides better of it and goes back to hugging Morgana.

"I want to talk," she requests without hesitation, pulling away from him.

He nods and hangs his coat on the bannister before letting her lead him upstairs.

**I'm sorry this is so short after so long time, but I've had weeks packed full of cricket matches, homework and tests. I also ran onto a football pitch because the team I support won and I'm going to Wembley on Sunday :D (not really relevant, but hey.)**

**Please review and tell me your thoughts! I know this chapter wasn't particularly eventful but if you could give me some feedback then that would be great! **

**Next Chapter: Merlin's reaction.**

**Scarlet Banner: ** I haven't forgotten to review 'Which to bury us or the hatchet?' and will do so ASAP! The only reason I haven't yet is because I haven't had internet for a few days, and the last time I tried reviewing on my phone, it posted two by accident and I very nearly chucked the damn thing at my bedroom wall :)


	25. Chapter 25

"I didn't tell you about the letter because I didn't want you to worry before you went away on the course," Morgana starts to explain after Merlin had finally stopped spewing out his anxieties about what might have happened.

"But it was important! Arthur's missing! Have you had a letter back from them yet? Do you know anything? Oh God." Why didn't she tell him before he left? He would've stayed and helped her get through it, to get answers. She was going through enough of a tough time already. He goes to jump up from the bed and start pacing again, but Morgana stops him.

"No, Merlin, he's okay. Your Mum said the letter was forged or faked or something. Arthur's fine," she replies quickly, not wanting to worry him any further on that matter.

"Forged!? Do you know who did it? Do you want me to punch them? Do you want me to hurt them for you?" He asks calmly, flexing his fingers out and clenching them into a tight fist.

"No, it's okay. I'd rather you just stayed here. You've been gone for the weekend and I've only had you back for five minutes. Please, don't go anywhere," she takes hold of one of his closed hands and weaves their fingers together, letting their joined hands rest on the mattress. He gives a small smile at the gesture but then his face crumples into a frown.

"Who was it?"

"Sometimes it's best not to know and you'll just get angry, so-"

"But I want to know," Merlin insists quietly. He doesn't sound particularly angry or like he wants to blow someone's head off. It was usually Arthur who got like that.

"Alvarr and someone else. I don't know who," she says wearily.

"I see," Merlin responds shortly. "Do you want me to punch him?"

"No. But thanks for the offer."

"And then what happened? Have you talked to him? You have, haven't you?" He groans in frustration as he answers his own question with another.

"Why is that such a bad idea? I wanted answers and I intended to get them," Morgana says stubbornly.

"Yeah, but all he's ever done is hurt you, mentally and physically-" he stops abruptly, mid-sentence and moves like lightning off of the bed to kneel in front of her. He takes hold of her left wrist, carefully, and extends her arm, turning it slightly.

"Merlin..." she sighs as he does the same to her other arm, examining it closely.

"I know... just checking," he murmurs quietly and lets go of her wrist, sitting back on his heels. "Is that what this is all about? _Did_ he hurt you?"

"No, but he tried to," Morgana says slowly, threading her hands through his dark hair and leaning forwards, her chin resting on top of his head. He shifts forwards on his knees and pulls her into an embrace, the ones she had missed over the weekend, his face buried into her shoulder, breathing in the scent of soap and something else he couldn't name.

"Tried to?" He asks, his voice muffled.

"Yes, Merlin, he tried to."

"But it didn't work? You got away?"

"With help."

"Who from?"

"Your Mum. And Morgause. She lives next door to Alvarr and she kicked the back door down. And I had help from a saucepan," she adds with a faint smile.

"A saucepan?" Merlin pulls back and raises an eyebrow.

"Hunith hit Alvarr around the head with it. Knocked him unconscious," she feels like laughing. Despite the seriousness of the conversation, the image of Hunith swinging a saucepan high above her head and screaming a string of swear words was still pretty surreal.

"I always knew my Mum was the female version of Bruce Willis," Merlin comments.

"Yes, I can picture that. Hunith with a flame thrower or firing machine guns at guys with sunglasses and black suits," Morgana waves her arms around behind him, imitating an explosion.

"It'll be like the Matrix. She'll be dodging bullets next and they'll be signing her up for the secret service. They'll call her 003½ because of her height," Merlin elaborates, a grin on his face.

"I've been expecting you, Hunith Emrys," Morgana adds in a sinister voice and they both laugh. "If she wore that fake, black moustache of yours and a sombrero, we could disguise her as someone called Enrique."

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's my mother!" Merlin finishes off and they both go into fits of laughter. "Maybe it's getting a bit far-fetched now."

"I don't think it is. If we put her hair up high in a ponytail, put some dark red lipstick on her and got her to wear black leather, she'd be a film star. She'd have massive sex appeal," Morgana promises and Merlin carries on laughing.

"Mum in black leather, dear God. I think you'd look great in leather. But you look good in anything. Especially bath towels. And nothing," he says cheekily and she knees him lightly in the shoulder.

"Yeah, well. We have about one month and 3 weeks left until I start taking my clothes off for you," she smirks into his hair and he huffs air at her neck.

"We got distracted," Merlin realises, pressing warm kisses from her shoulder to her jawbone. She grumbles something incoherent about not wanting to talk about it. He ignores the mumbled complaint. "What was he trying to do to you? It must have been pretty serious if Morgause kicked the door down and my Mum hit Alvarr around the head with a saucepan."

Morgana sighs deeply and runs her fingers through his hair.

"Are you worried about it? Are you scared to tell me?"

"I'm not worried, I just don't want to tell you because it will upset you. And I don't want that," she answers quietly, trying not to make eye contact.

"Please?" Merlin requests. "I don't want us to have any secrets."

"It's not a secret, I'm just choosing not to tell you."

"You are probably the most stubborn woman I have ever met," Merlin admits.

"Uther says I get that from him because I lived with him for such a long time," she scowls at the thought of it. "I don't believe him, though. I like to think that I take after my parents."

"Do you have any photos of them?"

"A few. Why?"

"Just interested, that's all. I would have liked to have been able to meet them," he ponders, moving from his kneeling position to sit on the bed again and pulling her into a sideways hug. "Do you think they would've... approved?" He asks anxiously.

"Definitely. I remember my father said to me once, I was only 12, he said 'If they make you happy and you're better off with them than without them, stay with them,'" Morgana quotes, looking a bit happier at the memory.

"That's good," he pats her knee and stands. "I'm just going to get my suitcase and bring it up, okay?"

"Okay." She pulls him down for what was supposed to be a quick, fleeting kiss, but given the fact that this was their first since Merlin had left on Friday, it turns into a longer, more passionate one. "I'm going to get ready for bed."

"Tired?"

"It's been a long weekend."

"I'll be back up in a minute," he promises, tucking a dark strand if hair behind her ear, which instantly falls back into its earlier place, before he heads downstairs to get his small amount of luggage.

He stops off in the living room on the way, poking his head around the door to see Hunith sat up reading a peculiar looking book.

"Mum?" He calls quietly. She doesn't look up. "Mum?" He asks again, louder this time.

He sees her frown at the sound of his voice and she turns towards the noise. Mother and son make eye contact across the room and Hunith blushes, snapping the book shut and throwing it to the floor.

"Hey," she greets him, slightly out of breath.

"What are you doing?" Merlin inquires, walking into the room with a suspicious look on his face.

"Reading," she sighs. She points to the book on the floor. "Morgana let me borrow it. I wanted to know what it was about and why everyone was reading it, but she wouldn't tell me. I'm regretting reading it now."

"Oh dear," Merlin picks up the book from the carpet and immediately recognises the infamous cover. "Fifty Shades of Grey. Wow. I didn't know this was you're kind of book, Mum."

Hunith gives him a stern glare over the top of her reading glasses and snatches the book back. "You know full well it's not my kind of book and I didn't think it was Morgana's kind of book either."

"You looked pretty engrossed to me. "

Hunith swats him with the paperback when he sits down next to her on the sofa. "What do want, anyway? Other than to disturb my curious reading."

"I was wondering, do you know what happened to Morgana on Saturday? She won't tell me what Alvarr tried to do to her and I'm worried. Was it really bad?"

"It's Morgana's choice whether she wants you to know or not. And if she doesn't want to tell you, then I'm not going to interfere," Hunith folds her arms across her chest. "Did she say why she didn't want to tell you?"

"She said it would upset me."

"It would. Remember what you were like when Dad died? I don't want you to feel like that again," Hunith says gently, a troubled look coming over her features.

"It's not like that now. It's different. I'm different. Please, Mum. I can handle it," Merlin pleads with her. Why was no one telling him what had happened? He'd go and find this Morgause woman if that's what it would take. He just wanted to look after Morgana and he couldn't do that if she didn't tell him what the problem was. He wishes everything would just slow down. Too much was happening far too quickly and he didn't like it.

Firstly, he'd met a wonderful woman who, despite her many flaws in domestic like cooking and keeping in touch with friends and family, was a great girlfriend for him. Even though they argued about stupid things and she tried not to cry at trashy films, probably an influence from Gwen, though he dared not to say it, it was a good relationship. (Well, he thought it was. He hadn't really been in any relationships before so he couldn't exactly speak from experience.)

Since then, she had suffered a miscarriage, one they had barely talked about for more than two minutes and brushed it off like nothing. That was what he wanted to talk about the most; how she really felt about it and not what she'd told him in the hospital before the scan. He was pretty sure she had been lying when she had said that, about being relieved because she wouldn't have to give birth to a child she didn't want. Of course, his own mind had secretly been put at ease by this, but mainly because he felt it wasn't fair. Why, if Alvarr was such a horrible person to Morgana, was he allowed to have a child with her? All Merlin had ever done was be kind to her, well, they had ups and downs, and try to help her and all he got was the remaining disease that Alvarr left behind him.

He knew it sounded petulant and childish, especially in his own mind, but it wasn't right that Alvarr could sell drugs, abuse women, get drunk or whatever else he did in his spare time and still create life with a woman who probably hated him by now. No, she did hate him. That was one thing he could be completely confident about. Morgana hated Alvarr. No exceptions.

Another thing that was beginning to eat away at him was how much, yet how little he knew about Morgana and she knew about him. For example, he knew that her mother had died battling cancer when Morgana was only six years old, yet he didn't know what her favourite colour was, or her favourite food. He also knew that, when she was living with Uther - a man he hadn't even spoken to properly yet - her and Arthur had exploded their pet mouse, Squeaky Spice, in the microwave. But he didn't know where she grew up, what she wanted to be, whether she really was happy right now.

If she wasn't happy, then she was certainly a very good actress. Throughout the miscarriage, abuse and God knows what else, the brave face she was putting on seemed to be turning into a mask she couldn't take off. He wishes she would, just so she could be herself again, whoever that was. The old Morgana. The one before Alvarr who didn't flinch away from loud noises or occasionally go off into a world of her own that she had to be snapped out of.

"I agree that you're different. You've changed so much since then but I don't want to risk your happiness," Hunith says cautiously, careful of the wording.

"How can I be happy or content not knowing what's happened to Morgana? Don't you think I have a right to know?" He feels so desperate to find out that he'd do anything, even go round to Alvarr's house to ask him. And punch him.

"My opinion, and this is only my opinion, Merlin, is that you should know _but_ it's Morgana's decision not mine," Hunith states her view firmly, something she'd always done and he admired her for it.

"So, if you won't tell me and neither will Morgana, if it's some big secret between the two of you, am I supposed to just let it go?" He asks, his frustration starts to dissipate and now he just feels deflated.

"Yes, Merlin. I'm sorry, but if Morgana's not telling you, neither am I," Hunith concludes. "Now, go back upstairs and be with Morgana. She's probably wondering where you are."

Merlin does as she says, pulling her into a quick hug before leaving the room and picking up his suitcase, carrying it upstairs and putting it down outside the bedroom with a rather loud thud. He winces as the noise ripples through the otherwise silent house. He heads into the bedroom; the light is turned off and Morgana is already under the covers, the only thing he can make out clearly is her dark hair splayed out across the white pillows. It is a stark contrast between colours, one that makes him smile. He doesn't know why.

"Are you actually going to come to bed or are you going to stand there all night watching me?" Morgana calls to him, sitting up on her elbows and raising an eyebrow he can't see.

"The latter," Merlin decides. "But I can't really watch you in the dark. I need to turn the light on," he flicks the switch on the wall and the room illuminates into unnatural, yellow light. Morgana groans and covers her eyes with her arm, flopping back on the mattress. "I have to get dressed, sorry."

"You were gone for ages," she notes, turning on her side to get away from the light while he undresses into a plain black t-shirt and grey sleeping trousers.

"I was talking with my mum," he answers her unasked question and slips under the duvet to join her, wrapping an arm around her stomach to pull her closer to him. He knows she likes this position; her back pressed against his chest and their legs tangled together.

"Did she tell you what happened?"

"No. She refused to."

"Oh," she says, surprised by this. "I thought she would."

"Well, she didn't. Night, Morgana," he pulls the duvet up and settles in sleep before Morgana speaks once more.

"Merlin, you've left the light on."

**Whee, another one done. I have up to about Chapter 31 planned, now I just have to write and type.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and feel free to leave me a review! Thank you all for reading and leaving me reviews – it means a lot! :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Gespav: **Thank you, but it's not that amazing.

**Scarletbanner: **I thought you would like the flame-thrower. Get ready for some of those _delightful_ internal monologues. (PS. I am going to review 'Which to Bury Us or the Hatchet?' tomorrow – just so you know.)

**IcausLSU:** Thank you and it's okay, things will get better. Eventually.

**Renaissancebooklover108: **It's okay, Merlin's not left out in this chapter.

**Grayember13:** Thank you. Eeeeepp, to you too :)

**LupineLover:** Thank you!

X

It feels strange to wake up where she actually lives and with Merlin again. For the past two nights she had slept in an empty bed - Aithusa had disappeared again - and then on practically a stranger's sofa. She'd even woken up in a hospital not so long ago. She decides, in her mind, that this is the best way to wake up – with someone she actually likes and in a comfortable position. She turns in Merlin's arms to face him, expecting him to still be wearing that small, endearing frown he wore when he was deep in sleep. To her surprise, he is already awake and staring past her at the wall.

He doesn't seem to notice her movements until she prods him in the stomach with her finger. He blinks a few times and meets her eyes but doesn't say anything. His own eyes, that were usually bright blue and full of mischief, are slightly bloodshot and somewhat dull. She wonders if he has actually been to sleep at all.

"Merlin," Morgana says his name tentatively, in fear that she might startle him. He focuses on her face and flashes a brief, half-hearted smile. "How long have you been awake?"

"Since five," he says quietly, placing a heated palm on her shoulder and stroking down to her elbow and then back up again.

"What time is it now?" She asks another question, trying to keep the conversation going.

"Half eight."

"Oh. Couldn't sleep?"

"No. Been thinking," he stops the hand movements, instead letting his fingers rest on her side, the pad of his thumb rubbing small circles onto her pyjama covered ribs. He frowns when his thumb traces along one of the curved bones. "Are you getting thinner?"

She blatantly ignores his question, taking it offensively. "What were you thinking about?"

"You and Alvarr. I keep picturing these little scenarios in my head about what could've happened. There are all of these possibilities about what he might have have done to you and all of them disgust me. But in every single scenario, whatever horrible thing he's trying to do to you, I'm never there to help. If I hadn't been away on that stupid course then I could've helped," he finishes in a distressed tone, blinking back tears.

Morgana looks across at him in surprise; she hadn't known that this was affecting him in such a way. If she'd just told him earlier without any hesitation or fear of his response, it wouldn't be like this now. When she was younger, she had been more than happy to share her opinions on matters that had the smallest of importance to her, especially if it annoyed Uther. Most of the time, Uther couldn't scold her because all she had to do was mention her father's name and he'd be off her back in no time at all.

The remainder of her childhood had been spent thinking up new and innovative ways of irritating Uther while getting into as little trouble as possible. In some cases, Arthur had been of great help to her, such as the perfume in the post plan, not that she liked him reminding her of that nowadays. He tended to gloat about it when the subject was brought up.

Now, it was almost as if things were completely the opposite. She didn't tell anyone what she thought and was terrified of what the people close to her thought of her. When had she turned into such a coward?

" If it puts your mind at ease, then I'll tell you," she says confidently, willing back the 'New Morgana' she had designed only a few days ago and stepping into her expertly.

"But I don't want you to feel under pressure to tell me. I don't want it to be like that. You can tell me if you want to. I'm not going to force you into it, I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want to do, but I would like- I'm rambling, aren't I?"

_Yes and it's adorable,_ Morgana thinks to herself, deeming the comment inappropriate right now.

"You are, but it's understandable. I would be the same if it was the other way around," Morgana answers, reassuring him without even meaning to.

Merlin looks a bit taken aback by her words. "Really? I just didn't think you cared about me... that much." he finishes quickly and swallowing nervously. He didn't want to offend her twice. The suggestion about her weight hadn't gone down that well.

"Well, obviously I do," she retorts, trying not to scowl at his comment. "Anyway, once you've finished insulting me, I'll tell you what happened."

"Hang on, wait-"

He stops talking when he sees her roll her eyes. _Did he want to know or not?_

"I kind of came to a conclusion about what Alvarr tried to do. Can I say it to you? Or is that too weird? I just thought, it might make it easier for you, that's all. It might be less uncomfortable if I say it," he continues calmly. He looks more at peace now. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep showing through.

"It's not weird. You can say what you think," Morgana agrees and he whispers some words into her ear. She nods slowly and watches his expression change to one of horror, his eyes now wide in fear. She feels a pang of guilt twinge in her chest at his state as he pulls her closer, so that there is no space between them. Everything she did or said seemed to hurt people. People she actually cared about.

"Was it really awful?" He asks in a worried voice that made her feel even worse. _New Morgana_, she tells herself, _don't fail me now. _

"No, it wasn't. He didn't hurt me or anything like that. It didn't feel like he was trying to... you know... but it was a bit unexpected," Morgana explains to him. It was the truth, wasn't it? Nothing horrible had happened.

"You told him to stop, right?" Merlin asks nervously. What if she hadn't? What if she wanted to be with Alvarr? What if she'd enjoyed it? It sounded ridiculous, maybe he was even a little paranoid about the whole thing, but the thoughts had crossed his mind.

"I did and-"

"How many times?"

"Oh. Twice, I think, and-"

"And he continued?" He cuts in with another question.

"Yes, Merlin, he did. But it-"

"Did you try and fight him?"

She was about to yell at him for interrupting her again, something both the New and Old Morgana hated, but his question catches her off-guard. Because the truth was she hadn't tried to fight Alvarr. _Why?_ She hated the man, yet she had allowed him to kiss and touch her without putting up much of a struggle.

If Alvarr was drug-dealing, abusive, alcoholic and she'd let him kiss her, then what was she? Was she worse than him? Or just less intelligent to not try and defend herself? She hadn't really had much time to react, anyway. Okay, that was it. That was her excuse. She hadn't fought Alvarr because Hunith and Morgause had gotten there so quickly she didn't need to. There. That sounded pretty decent.

"Morgana? You went off with the fairies. I wanted them to bring you back," he half smiles and she returns the small gesture.

"I didn't fight him. I didn't need to. Your Mum and Morgause got there pretty quickly." It wasn't _really_ an excuse. Just bending the truth a little.

"Do you want me to punch him?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?" It had to be the third time already.

"I don't know. I thought that was what boyfriends were supposed to do. You know, beat up the guys who tried to hurt the girlfriend."

She stifles a laugh, not wanting to hurt his feelings. "Merlin, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you'd be able to hurt anyone. It's just not in your nature."

"Is it in yours?"

"Yes. I think so." New Morgana could hurt people if she wanted.

"Oh, right. That's... good, then."

"But, please, don't think of me any differently after all of this. Nothing happened, Merlin. I love you_._"

"I love you, as well."

She smiles at his reply. It was only the second time they said that. It didn't sound cheesy and like they'd said it dozens of times already. She didn't want it to be like that. She didn't want to be one of those couples that said it so many times it became meaningless phrase, an automatic response every time they ended a conversation or needed to fill a silent gap between the two of them.

"Anyway," Merlin clears his throat and begins a new topic. "What do you want to do today? I should be getting a call back from the guys at the factory on Wednesday or Thursday to say whether I got the job or not. So we have approximately three whole days to do whatever you want."

She sits up at the proposition, the opportunity getting her attention, and Merlin does the same. "I think... I'm going to have shower and then you're going to help me find a job by going through the newspapers and looking online. We should also update my CV."

"Sounds good to me," he takes her hand in his and squeezes it gently. "I shall await your return," he tells her with a broad smile as she disappears out of the room to go into the bathroom, collecting a towel from the airing cupboard on the way there. She doesn't want the I-couldn't-find-a-towel-and-now-I'm-in-your-kitche n-practically-naked incident repeated and especially not for Hunith.

She steps into the shower cubicle and sets the water to the hardest and hottest setting she can stand without it burning or hurting her skin. It hammers down on her back and shoulders, relieving tension she hadn't known was there.

She stands there for a while, not doing anything apart from just letting the hot water pour down onto her, the liquid heat spreading around her body. It was technically summer now, but still not very sunny at all. Most of the time it rained. Perhaps she should migrate to a hotter country.

Morgana shrugs off the thought and turns to reach for the soap. A sudden rush of cold air creeps up the backs of her legs and she whips round to see Merlin entering the shower, too. She lets out a gasp of surprise before she can stop herself and attempts to cover her body, still with the bar of soap in her hand.

"Merlin!" She hisses at him, but he just smiles. "What on Earth do you think you're doing?"

"Having a shower," he explains casually. "I missed you."

"I haven't even been gone that long!" Morgana insists, but he doesn't seem to care.

Are you using this or not?" He takes the soap from her hand and starts rubbing it into his left arm and over his chest.

"Yes, but- What if your Mum comes in?"

"I don't know. What _if_ my Mum comes in?"

"Well, we're both naked," she points out, just in case he hadn't noticed yet. She tries to stop her gaze lingering on certain parts of his body and he appears to be doing the same.

"Of course we are. You don't have a shower with clothes on, do you?" Merlin starts rubbing soap bubbles onto her shoulder instead of his own. "Anyway, I'm also doing an experiment.

She narrows her eyes at him. "What experiment?"

"To see if two people can fit in the shower. And they can. Which is a good thing."

Her expression softens and she arches an eyebrow at him, a smirk forming on her lips. "And why is it a good thing?"

"Just, you know, for later... activities." He struggles on which is the correct term to use.

"What _kind_ of activities?"

"Um, nice ones," he says, flashing a cheeky grin and massages soapy hands into her skin.

X

Eventually, they go downstairs together. Nothing had actually happened in the shower, apart from some very passionate kissing and rubbing soap onto each other in places they probably shouldn't have, but it had still made them grow more and more frustrated about their two month wait.

Hunith is busy frying some bacon in the kitchen, the strong smell wafting out to greet them as they walk hand in hand into the room.

"Is that the same frying pan you used to smash Alvarr around the head with?" Morgana questions as her and Merlin sit down at the kitchen table.

"No. The one I hit Alvarr with is the special one Merlin keeps behind the door. Just in case," she says in her usual sing-song voice and Merlin groans from embarrassment.

Morgana sends him an amused look and whispers, "You keep a frying pan behind the door for protection?"

"It came in handy, didn't it?" He quips and she laughs at his annoyed expression.

"Right, Morgana how do you like your bacon? Normal or cremated?" Hunith turns around to ask her.

"I don't want any, I'm not hungry."

"You're still eating it. So, how do you want me to cook it?"

"However you would normally cook it, thank you," Morgana says, a bit surprised by Hunith's forwardness. "Do you want me to help with anything?"

"No, no. Morgana, you're a lovely girl, but I'm not letting you anywhere near my cooking, going by past experiences."

"I can do the washing up, then?" She suggests but Merlin steps in.

"No, it's all right. I'll do that," he volunteers and she frowns at him.

"But I want to help," Morgana says quietly, tracing the shapes on the place-mats. Merlin doesn't hear her.

"Morgause rang about 15 minutes ago." Hunith says.

"I didn't hear the phone."

"We would have been in the shower," Merlin reminds her and she nods.

Hunith brings over a plate with a bacon sandwich on it and puts it down in front of Morgana. "We?" She asks, trying to look as innocent as possible.

Morgana turns to look at Merlin, who looks at her and then at Hunith. "Cutting down on water usage," he provides and Morgana sniggers at his useless answer.

"Of course you were." Hunith brings over two more pates, one for Merlin and one for herself. "Anyway, Morgause rang and told me that Alvarr's been arrested and being held at the station until he has to appear in Court in a few months. You've got to go and give evidence against him."

"_I _ have to go? To Court? To give evidence?"

"You're the victim," Merlin answers her series of questions as he bites into his own sandwich.

"But what will I say? Will I have to say it in front of everyone? I know hardly anything about this, apart from what I've seen on TV and I'm sure most of that is made up," Morgana starts to go into a panic but Hunith calms her down again.

"That's why Morgause rang. She said she needed to meet up with you sometime soon so that you could go through what you're going to say."

"But she's not even a lawyer," Morgana protests. The New Morgana didn't need help. "Solicitor, or whatever. She just works for the police. I don't even know what she does."

"Perhaps she's just using her own free time to help you, then. But she knows all about these kind of things, so if I were you, I'd accept the offer," Hunith advises her and Morgana gets the impression that her word on this matter was final.

"So," Merlin starts. He looks a lot happier than he did earlier this morning. "Me and Morgana are going to look for a job today. I'm hearing back from the factory on Wednesday or Thursday, so we've got about three days to find one."

"When were you planning on doing that?" Hunith asks.

"This morning, probably. But we could always go this afternoon," he turns to Morgana who gives him a nod of approval.

"Oh. Well, I was hoping to speak to you this morning because my I'm going back to Australia tomorrow night and I was going to pack this afternoon so I didn't have to do it tomorrow," Hunith explains, finishing off the first half of her sandwich. Morgana had barely even started to eat hers.

"You mean it's been nearly a week already?" Merlin asks in disbelief. Morgana is amazed by this, too.

"Unfortunately, yes. And I was wondering, if it's not too much to ask, if I could come back and stay again sometime? Not right away of course, maybe in a month or two? I just feel like I haven't had the time I need to catch up and to get to know you properly," she directs the last comment at Morgana. "I think that this was probably one of the worst weeks I could have chosen to come and visit you."

"Of course you can!" Merlin exclaims. "Don't be silly, you can come over whenever you like."

"But I want to give you two time to settle down again. I know everything has been more than hectic lately, especially for you, Morgana, so I really want you to have more time together. Just the two of you. I think it will do you both good."

"Sure," Merlin agrees. "That sounds good."

"Wonderful." Hunith gets up from the table and piles her and Merlin's plates together. She glances over at Morgana's plate, which still has half of the food on it.

"Sorry," Morgana apologises but Hunith just smiles, taking the plate from her.

"I'll give it to Aithusa next time I see her."

"Where has that cat gone?" Merlin asks, looking around the room worriedly.

"No idea," Hunith admits walking over to the sink. "But she'll turn up when she needs us. Merlin, will you come and help me with this, now?"

"Yeah, in a minute." He turns to Morgana. "Do you want to go upstairs and get your stuff ready?"

"Okay." She gets up from the table and does as he says, giving him a quick hug before she leaves the room.

Merlin goes over to join Hunith, picking up a tea-towel to dry off the plates. "You wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes," Hunith confirms. "It's about Morgana."

X

**Unfortunately, this is going to be my last chapter for a while because I think I need some time off from writing to unblock my head a bit. **

**Therefore, I tried to make this chapter a good one and hopefully I did okay? It was longer than I normally write and we got some Mergana in the shower which I hope everyone liked :)**

**Thanks for the reviews from last chapter! I have decided to reply to them at the start of the chapter now - sorry if that's a pain, but that way I don't forget to do it like I usually do.**

**Anyway, please tell me your thoughts in the box below if you get time! Thanks for reading! **


	27. Chapter 27

**Lupinelover: Maybe I will make Aithusa have kittens, you'll just have to wait and see.**

**IcarusLSU: I love writing Hunith, I think she's one of my favourite characters to write in this fic, it's a shame she won't be in it for a while after the next chapter or two. I'll find a way to get her in though!**

**Grayember13: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! Hopefully that opinion won't change!**

**Gespav: Thank you!**

**Mickey.G.B/Guest: I'm glad you've understood the thing about the 'new Morgana' because I kind of wanted to make her a bit like she was in the show, without the evilness and the smirking. **

**Renaissancebooklover108: Thank you and you don't have to wait any longer!**

**Scarletbanner: Morgana will be okay! Promise! Has your deafness gone away now from your teacher screaming into that microphone?**

**Sakhr al-Jinni: Thanks and okay.**

**AnotherMerlinFan: Thank you, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!**

"Morgana doesn't know what I'm about to tell you. The main reason for that being that I don't think she's given what happened a second thought, which worries me deeply," Hunith begins in a hushed voice.

"Is this about Alvarr the other day?" Merlin asks loudly. "She told me what he tried to do, by the way."

"And?" Hunith prompts him. "How does she feel about that?"

Merlin pauses. "Okay, I think. She said he didn't hurt her."

"Yes, but that's not really the point, is it? Just because it didn't hurt, it doesn't mean it didn't happen, it doesn't make it any better. And I just don't understand how she can be 'okay' about it. Those kind of assaults can take months and in most cases years to get over," Hunith sighs, taking out her concern by scrubbing a plate in a ferocious manner.

"She's strong, though," Merlin says weakly, trying to provide an argument for Morgana.

"Does she look strong to you? Because she doesn't to me. She barely touched those sandwiches this morning."

"Maybe she just wasn't hungry," Merlin says tiredly, beginning to regret waking up at such an early hour. His Mum was always worried about something, a trait she'd passed on to him, but he was sure Morgana was perfectly fine.

"She didn't have any tea last night, either. And then there's this thing about not remembering what Morgause and I were talking to her about afterwards," Hunith brings up another subject that was on her mind.

"Morgana told you this herself?" Merlin asks, surprised that Morgana would tell Hunith that. Most of the time she didn't want people to make a fuss so she could just get on with her life.

"No, Morgause did. She was talking to Morgana about Alvarr-"

"Who _is_ this Morgause woman, anyway?" Merlin questions with a frown, drying off a glass with a tea-towel. _He'd_ never heard of her. "I know she helped kick the door down, or whatever it was, but I haven't been told that much about her."

"Listen, Merlin. No matter how much you want to know about Morgause, I'm not going to tell you right now because it's not the right time and it's a bit like pointless information at the moment. Now, Morgause told me that when she was talking to Morgana the morning after, that Morgana said she had no re-collection of what Morgause and I were talking about just after we'd got her out of the house. I'd say that's fairly odd, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, well, maybe she was just in shock or something. Maybe she was having some kind of panic attack and you didn't know," Merlin suggests firmly. Morgana was _fine_.

"But she was talking back to us, answering our questions. Albeit, she did look a bit dazed, but she didn't look like she was panicking. I thought it could've been some kind of fit, but she was responsive the whole time. Well, vaguely responsive," Hunith points out to herself, picking up another plate and letting it sink into the washing up bowl.

"How vague?"

"Yes and no questions seemed to be her strong points and she could string a couple of sentences together, but nothing past that. I don't know, Merlin. Different people react differently, but she didn't even look frightened. She just looked... somewhere else."

"Maybe she just hit her head or something," Merlin tries playing the situation down, but this was starting to make him uneasy, too.

"Perhaps. But the whole thing just seems very odd to me. Like the miscarriage. I know that she hates Alvarr, least of all wanted a child with him, but it doesn't make sense. It's a tragic loss of life and, again, these kind of things can take years to get over completely. The parents, or in this case just Morgana, can go into mourning for months on end. Yet, like everything else, like the fake letter and the abuse and now this, she's passed it off as nothing. So, either she's some kind of robot that has no feelings at all, or she's bottling it all up and pretending everything is fine. Which it isn't. It's terrible," Hunith says miserably.

" Or she actually _is_ okay with all of this and it's just a coincidence she looks ill." He may be trying to convince Hunith, but he can barely convince himself.

"I'm just surprised she hasn't had a breakdown yet," Hunith admits without hesitation. "And once I've gone back to Australia, I want you to talk to her about it. About everything. It may sound like I'm trying to rule your lives, but I honestly just want you both to be okay."

"I know. Thank you," Merlin says solemnly, drying the last glass and putting it away. "I'll go and see if Morgana's ready. Do you want to talk about this again later?"

"No, I won't worry you any more. I'm sorry if this has dampened your morning, but I just thought you should know. In case it leads to anything else."

"Of course. Morgana, are you ready?" He shouts at the ceiling and turns to see her standing by the door. She has her hair back in a ponytail, a style he's never seen on her before. She has completely changed out of what she was dressed in about 10 minutes ago and is now wearing a plain red t-shirt, a pair of dark jeans and a blue fleece.

"I am. You ready? Okay, let's go," she uncrosses her arms and walks to the front door without waiting for his response.

"Right," Merlin says uncertainly, following her out to the car. They get in with Merlin in the driver's seat and Morgana next to him in the passenger seat. They sit in silence for a while. "Have you got everything? Like your CV and that?"

"No. Gwen text me earlier saying she wanted me to go round to her flat because she wanted to talk to me. And I think she's a bit lonely now that Arthur's gone away again. Don't tell her I said that, though."

"I won't," Merlin promises. "So are we just going to look in the newspaper for jobs?"

"Yes, I think that will be easier. Do you know where Gwen lives, or do you need me to give you instructions?"

"Instructions, please. Why did you get changed?" Merlin asks as he pulls out onto the road.

"Don't know. I just felt like it. I need to change who I am at the moment... now take a left," Morgana directs him and he turns off down a lane. The trees cover the road, offering them a shady protection and there are no other cars.

"Are you not happy with yourself entirely, or is this just an appearance thing?"

"Everything about me."

"Can you specify?" Merlin requests. "What do you _think_ is wrong with you?"

"I'm a weaker person than I'd like to be. I'm not strong minded or independent. I can barely look after myself, let alone anyone else," Morgana says, looking defeated.

"I'd say that would almost be natural to think that after everything you've been through these past months."

"But I'm useless!" She shouts suddenly, making him almost slam down on the brakes when he jumps. "Why can't you understand that? I can't stand up for myself, all I do is make people worried or unhappy, I created a life and then couldn't even carry it – it feels like I've killed a child!"

Merlin sighs and pulls over, unbuckling his seat belt and Morgana's. He opens up his door and gets out. Morgana stares at him in confusion.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere. Just come and sit where I was so I can talk to you properly," he pats the seat and she clambers over the handbrake to sit there, facing Merlin.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you," he says calmly.

"That's not what you and Hunith were saying a minute ago," she says, sounding hurt. "She says I'm like a robot and I have no feelings."

"You were listening?" He wants to stroke her hair through, but it's tied back.

"To some of it. I'm sorry," Morgana apologises. "It was too tempting."

"I think what my Mum was trying to say is that she's scared you're trying to act fine on the outside when on the inside you're not. That's all," Merlin explains quietly. "She doesn't actually think you're a robot, if that's reassuring."

"It is, a bit. But don't you agree with everything else I've said?" She asks him, desperate for someone to just relate with what she thinks.

"I don't agree at all. You _aren't_ useless. You _can_ stand up for yourself. You make me _very_ happy and as for the baby, I just don't think it was the right-"

"But Alvarr tried to... I didn't even fight back, Merlin!" Morgana breaks in, hysterical. "Surely there's something wrong about that!"

"Maybe, but I still can't see the need for you to change who you are."

"Because the new Morgana is the better one," she mumbles.

"Is she?" Merlin inquires politely. "What makes her better than the old one, then?"

"She doesn't care what people think of her. She's a stronger person. She stands up for herself and her friends. She helps people. She's a better girlfriend."

"But she's not the Morgana I fell in love with," Merlin points out and he sees her try to scowl and smile at the same time.

"Shut up, Merlin."

"I think I like the old Morgana better. The one who moved in with me the day after we met. The one who blew up my microwave. The one I burgled a house with. The one who got snow all down my top." At this point she laughs and he smiles at their progress. "But then again, I haven't had sex with this new Morgana yet, so I don't know which one's better."

"Merlin!" She shoves him back and he lands in the grass at the side of the road, laughing loudly. "Typical man!" She tells him and moves back to the passenger seat so he can get in again.

"I think... I think this is going to take a long to get over all of this and fully put it behind us, but I'm going to be here for you, so you don't need to worry. And then, once we've gotten rid of all of the bad things, we can get on and do all the good things."

"Like what?"

"Like us. We could go out to places – like on a date and we can go on holiday and we can get married and we could have kids," Merlin stops himself, sensing he was getting a bit carried away. "If that's what you want."

"I do want that," Morgana says dreamily, feeling both completely relaxed and excited at the same time.

"Just not yet," he reminds them both sadly. They might have a long while to go yet, no matter how much they wanted the good things to happen.

"Thank you, Merlin."

"You don't have to thank me. But, you do have to get rid of this new Morgana. I don't like her at all," Merlin advises, straightening himself up as he starts the engine. "It's not good to split yourself into two people."

"Fine," Morgana says, a bit reluctant to this idea. She had been beginning to become accustomed to her new presence.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Great. Now, let's go and see Gwen. It's not like last time I saw her she threatened to cut certain parts of me off."

**I have returned! I hope I wasn't away for too long that you'd all forgotten me!**

**I'm coming to the end of the Alvarr storyline now and will be moving onto a more general one, involving more of the characters.**

**Anyway, thank you to everyone who has followed and favourited – I hit 60 followers the other week, woo! And also to ScarletBanner for her constant support and telling me she's outside my house eating ice-cream :D**

**Thanks for reading and please review to tell me your thoughts!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Sakhr al-Jinni: Thank you for the review!**

**Renaissancebooklover108: Thank you and I was hoping I had written it okay!**

**Grayember13: Thanks, I will.**

**ScarletBanner: I'm never on time with my reviews for WTBUOTH, so I don't mind. I'm glad you picked up on the whole 'different era' thing, I was **_**quite**_** proud of myself when I managed to link my title to my plot :) I see what you did there. We will get to see Morgana's recovery, some of it anyway, and I hope you're as excited as I am! Morgause comes back next chapter and we will get some Morgana/Morgause action (not like that, though.) Thanks for your constant reviewing! I love reading them.**

**Draghiforever: Um, hello :) If things that I wrote about happened in real life, the world would be a very dangerous place. Don't worry about not being there before, you're here now and that's all that matters to me. I'd like to be friends too, but only if you give me some of your Ben and Jerry's ice-cream, haha. Thanks for your compliments and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. I will also try and get round to reading your story soon.**

Morgana had made the executive decision of whatever Gwen didn't know couldn't hurt her and she was determined to stick by those rules. Merlin wasn't happy with this and was shifting from foot to foot when Morgana used the buzzer for Gwen's flat.

"I still think you should tell her," Merlin insists as she presses the little grey button.

"Tough, I'm not going to. It's easier that way."

"Yeah, but-"

"_Hello? Morgana is that you?" _Gwen's voice comes out through a small speaker next to the button.

"Yes, it's me! Merlin's here, too_."_

"That's good because I need to talk to him, too. Don't worry, it's nothing serious! Right, well come up then," Gwen says cheerfully and then the speaker goes dead.

"If you say one word about Alvarr to Gwen I will hide the biscuit tin from you again and blow up your supposed to be secret stash of Oreos you keep at the back of the cupboard."

His mouth drops open at the threat. "How do you even know about the Oreos?"

"You're very bad at hiding things and I caught you eating them one night, so don't pretend!"

"But that's blackmail! Emotional blackmail!" Merlin tries to convince her, looking terrified at this warning.

"It's not if you don't say anything," Morgana reminds him. "Now, are you ready?"

"Fine," Merlin sighs. "Wait, stay still - no face away from me, actually."

"Why?" Morgana asks suspiciously, turning around anyway.

Merlin says nothing, but gently pulls out the band that was keeping her hair up. He steers her back around to face him using her shoulders and sorts her hair into a bit of a side-parting. He didn't know much about hair styles, but this one looked a lot more natural. "There. That's better."

"Thanks, it was starting to hurt my head," she laughs, shaking her head so that her hair flicks around. "What do you think? Have I got the L'Oreal look yet?"

"You already had it, babes," Merlin replies, putting on a Gok Wan voice and winking at her.

Morgana laughs again and grabs his hand pulling him through the door. "That was a fantastic impression, Merlin. Well done," she compliments with a hint of sarcasm in her voice as she propels them up the stairs. "Can you do any others?"

"I can do Hillary Devey from Dragon's Den. You know, the one with the shoulder pads and funny voice? I used to play charades all the time when I was a kid, I got really good at it. We always used to play it at Christmas and New Year, it was pretty much family tradition. I think I've still got the cards at home somewhere."

"Can we play it? Tonight? With Hunith?" Morgana asks excitedly.

"What, really?" Merlin sounds surprised at her suggestion.

"Yes! It'll be fun! Please, Merlin? Pretty please? I'll love you forever..."

Merlin fakes shock and raises his eyebrows. "What? You mean you don't already?"

"You're right, I do. Um, I'll do the hoovering for a month?" Morgana offers and Merlin accepts. "I used Gwen's vacuum once and I managed to suck up a sock."

"And?" Merlin pants slightly. How many steps were there?

"The container thing where the dust goes broke apart and all the rubbish went on me."

Merlin stops climbing the stairs for a moment and face-palms before continuing. "You seem to be lacking in your domestic skills, Morgana. Is there a reason for this?"

"I haven't had much practice," Morgana admits as she stops at the door of flat number 11 and knocks three times. "Gwen's is this one. Hopefully."

"Hopefully?"

"I get the doors mixed up sometimes. A couple of years ago I walked into number 9, which was completely not on purpose by the way, and got a not so lovely glimpse of a 60 year old man doing rather inappropriate things to himself."

"That must have been... scarring."

"It was very distressing," Morgana agrees. "It was very uncomfortable meeting him on the stairs on my way up. I think he's dead now, anyway. Or is he? I can't remember. Gwen will know."

"Well, I don't think she'd really appreciate you asking her that," Merlin sighs and knocks on the door a second time, in case Gwen hadn't heard the first.

"She won't mind, she's Gwen. She has answers for everything. She could be a life coach. I think she was mine for a bit, without either of us knowing."

"You sound like really good friends," Merlin observes quietly. Gwaine was a great friend to him, but they just didn't seem to have the same bond Gwen and Morgana did. Perhaps they should start spending more time together, but he needed to be there for Morgana first. She was his main priority right now.

"We are, but sometimes – Gwen, are you in there?" Morgana attacks the door with her hand numerous times, the noise echoing around the corridor.

"Shh! Morgana, stop it!" Merlin scolds her, pulling her hand away from the door. "You might wake someone!"

"It's 10 o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday!" Morgana hisses at him. "People are at work!"

"We aren't, yet! And Gwen isn't!" Merlin argues.

"She does night shifts!"

"Then why isn't she sleeping in the day time?!"

"Maybe she's got the day off!"

"Wow, you two are having a bit of an argument, huh?" Gwen is stood in the doorway with an amused smile on her face. Merlin jumps and Morgana rolls her eyes at him as she follows Gwen into her flat, pulling her friend into a hug on the way.

She loves Gwen's flat. It's small but not cramped and although there are many photos of her and Arthur in many different places, but it doesn't seem like clutter. It isn't overly old or incredibly modern, but more in between the ages, with cream coloured walls and a dark red sofa - Gwen says it hides any stains well. Dust never seems to collect on objects, there are no cracks in the ceiling, no damp or mould is in sight and it always smells like Frebreze. Gwen was very house proud and the incident of the exploding hoover hadn't gone down well - she was like Monica from Friends, but not as bad.

"Do you want tea?" Gwen asks as she walks into her small kitchen.

"Yeah, I'll help. Where's Merlin got to?" Morgana glances behind her but he isn't there.

"Not too far, I hope. How many sugars do you have, again? I've forgotten."

"Three, thanks."

Gwen frowns, staring at the cup. "I thought it was six?"

"I'm trying to cut down. 'Trying' being the operative word."

Gwen nods, but shovels five spoonfuls of sugar in when she thought Morgana wasn't looking. "How have you been lately? Good?"

"Yeah, everything's great," Morgana lies to her, feeling guilty the second she says it. It was for her own good, Gwen would only be upset. "Everything's fine."

"And Merlin? How is he? Has he found a new job yet?"

Morgana looks at her in confusion before handing her the milk. "How do you know about that? Did I tell you?"

"No, Uther did. He came round a few of days ago. It was strange actually, he kept asking how I was. And about Arthur and you. Especially you."

"Maybe he's just worried about me," Morgana brushes it off and then panics. "You didn't tell him about the pregnancy, did you?"

"Oh, no. Don't worry, I wouldn't tell him that – that's your choice. It did seem odd, though. It was pretty much constant. And the way he asked it, it was like... like I was supposed to know something and I was deliberately hiding it from him."

"_Are_ you hiding things from him?"

"Don't be so silly! I'd never hide anything from anyone! I don't have anything _to_ hide."

"Then it's probably just Uther being weird like he normally is."

"Probably..." Gwen says distantly, focussing on pouring boiling hot water out of the kettle. "Speaking of the pregnancy, how are you getting on with the... you know?"

"You _can_ say it, Gwen. It's not like we're discussing sex in medieval times."

"What on Earth have I just walked into?" Merlin blurts out, making a sharp U-turn back out of the kitchen.

"Nothing of the greatest importance," Morgana tells him, gulping back some of her drink. "What took you so long?"

He wanders cautiously back to them and holds up his mobile. "Gwaine rang me. He said he's 'as lonely as a cloud.'"

"Isn't that a poem?" Gwen comes in. "Anyway, do you guys want to go to Thorpe Park?"

"What do you mean?" Merlin asks slowly.

"Do you want to go? Because I got this voucher thing – 2 for 1 – and I was going to go with Arthur, but he's gone back early, so..." Gwen trails off expectantly.

"Are you sure? You could just wait until Arthur gets back," Morgana suggests but Gwen shakes her head.

"It expires in about a week. We wouldn't have the chance, but you two would."

"How many vouchers do you have? Just the one?" Morgana inquires.

"No, there's two, but even if I went with you, who would be the fourth person?"

"Gwaine can come!" Morgana exclaims and Merlin groans. "What? What's wrong with Gwaine? He was just telling you about how lonely he was!"

Merlin sighs. "Nothing is _wrong_ with him, but he can be a bit full-on at times, are you sure it's a good idea?"

"Of course it's a good idea, it was my idea and my ideas are _always_ good," Morgana insists and Merlin tuts at her.

"Fine," he agrees, reluctantly.

**Okay, I was supposed to update on Sunday, but my life got in the way, so please don't kill me. I will now be trying to stick to a Sunday-update-day schedule, but that may change in the meantime.**

**Anywho! I hope this was an all right chapter, it was shorter than usual, but it was just meant to be a chapter that got Gwen back in, and also Gwaine, and I have succeeded in both of those tasks because now they're all going off to Thorpe Park. This was also a bit of an insight into the new but old Morgana, if that makes sense? Hopefully it does.**

**Thank you for reading and please review to tell me your thoughts!**

**Next Chapter: Hunith's farewell and Morgana spends the afternoon with Morgause :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Grayember13: Thanks, I'm glad you like it!**

**Sakhr al-Jinni: Haha! Perhaps, it is getting a bit racy. I hope it's not too much.**

**IcarusLSU: Thank you! Maybe I should write another fic entirely about Morgana's mishaps with domestic items. **

**Dragifever: Thank you! We'll find out about Mordred's dad soon.**

**Renaissancebooklover108: I'm really looking forward to writing the trip to Thorpe Park, too!**

**ScarletBanner: Alvarr is mentioned quite a bit in this chapter, but I hope you still get the same sense that we've moved away from it all. I'll try not to break you're heart with merlin and Mordred, but only time will tell :) I'm glad you like New/Old Morgana, too!**

**Gespav: Thank you! I hope it gets better from here! Hopefully the quality in my writing (if there is any) won't take a dip.**

"I'm really going to miss you," Morgana says sadly, winding her arms around Hunith and not wanting to let go. Although she had only been staying with them a week, Hunith was already a massive part of her life and it was scary to think about what might have happened if she hadn't been there.

The three of them; Morgana, Merlin and Hunith are stood outside the front of the house, with Merlin helping the taxi-driver load the suitcases into the boot.

Their last day together had been spent feeding the ducks at the park, which was a personal request from Hunith. Merlin wasn't very happy about this because the whole time they were there, Hunith had told embarrassing stories about Merlin when he was younger. Morgana said that the one where Merlin fell into a river and was completely black with mud for a day was her favourite because it sounded like something she would do, but she hadn't and he had and that was all the more hilarious for some reason. She said that Hunith should start writing books about Merlin's clumsiness and get them published and made into a TV show and "he'd be the male version of Miranda Hart!"

They had also played another round of charades, Morgana and Hunith's request, because they teamed up together when it was Merlin's go and looked at the things on his card when he left the room.

He had cooked his own 'special recipe' spaghetti bolognese for dinner, something he was very proud of, while Morgana had quietly slagged it off, saying it tasted no different from any other spaghetti she'd eaten. Merlin had then muttered under his breath about watching her try and cook a half decent meal without killing anyone and Morgana had immediately silenced herself, continuing to eat.

"I'm going to miss you, too," Hunith pulls away from the embrace and sees Morgana's tear-filled eyes. "Oh, don't cry, silly! You'll set me off!"

Merlin chuckles as Morgana sniffs hard and puts on a smile. He sets the last case into the boot and comes up behind Morgana and Hunith.

"Group hug?" He offers and Morgana and Hunith swamp him, nearly suffocating him in the process. After holding his breath for as long as he possibly could, Merlin peels himself away from them and gasps for air. "We'll see you again soon," he says, still breathless from the hug.

"Yes, and we can keep in touch on that Skype thing," Hunith promises, blinking back tears just like Morgana.

"Definitely. Now, go – before we all start crying! And you don't want to miss your flight," Merlin reminds her and Hunith nods.

"Don't start crying, don't miss flight. Got it. Oh, and Merlin,"she gestures for him to come forwards and hugs him tightly before whispering to him. "Make sure she keeps eating."

Merlin pulls back and frowns at her words, but smiles and nods so that Morgana wouldn't ask questions. "See you again soon."

"Yes, bye, son. Bye, Morgana!" Hunith says, trying to be cheerful. Then she slips into the back of the taxi and waves to them out of the window as the vehicle drives away.

After Hunith is out of sight, Merlin takes Morgana's hand and leads them both back indoors and straight upstairs. The sun has set early and there are no lights on inside, so they walk around in the dark. Morgana pulls on his hand when they reach the landing, bringing them to a halt.

"What is it? Are you afraid of the dark?" Merlin asks teasingly and Morgana scowls at him.

"No, you moron. Where are we going?"

Merlin sends her a reassuring smile that is hidden by shadows. "To bed," he says simply and pulls them into their room. "I thought we could do with an early night."

Morgana pauses and cocks her head to the side, taking a different understanding to the words. "Merlin..." he stops undressing for a moment to listen to her. "You know we're not allowed to do this yet?"

Merlin looks at her in complete confusion before stripping down to a pair of thin sleeping trousers and nothing else. "Not allowed to do what?"

"Um, have sex?" Morgana puts it bluntly. "We still have about a month to go."

"When did I say about – oh, right, sorry. I didn't mean it like that," Merlin grins sheepishly at her and scratches the back of his head. "You don't have to come to bed if you don't want. I just thought it might be a good idea."

"It is a good idea. I'm knackered, so it's probably the best thing for me," Morgana admits with a tired laugh and then slips under the covers, still dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. "And I've got Morgause tomorrow afternoon so I have to be at my best."

Merlin copies her, joining her under the duvet. "How come?"

"She said she wants to go through what I'm going to say at Court," Morgana sighs. It wasn't something she particularly wanted to do.

"What _are_ you going to say?"

"The truth," Morgana says slowly and the conversation dies out. Merlin clears his throat and tries to resurrect it.

"What's Morgause like? You haven't really mentioned her much."

"I don't know that much about her," Morgana says tiredly, not wanting to talk about this right now.

"Well, what does she look like? Surely that's an easier question."

"A bit like me, but blonde." This wasn't really true, but Morgana didn't want to go into detailed descriptions. "Maybe taller, I'm not sure."

Merlin nods. "Is she older or younger than you?"

"Older. She has a son called Mordred and he's six. I think she might be about thirty, but I can't exactly _ask_," Morgana snaps with an irritation in her voice that surprised her.

Merlin frowns and starts rubbing circles into her lower back with the palm of his hand, trying to coax this new anger out of her. "What's wrong?"

"A lot, lately. I still can't get my head around it all. About Alvarr and the miscarriage and everything else. These past few months have been difficult and it's really worn me out, physically and mentally."

"I know but try not to think about that now when you're supposed to be going to sleep. Think about nice things instead. That's what everything's about now. Taking all of the negative things away and replacing them with a good thing," Merlin says in a quiet tone, starting to feel drowsy himself.

"Like what?"

"Us," Merlin says, mid-yawn. "Imagine we're on holiday, somewhere nice and hot like Spain or Turkey or wherever. And you're walking along a beach barefoot, and the sand is really warm on your feet. It's almost night, but the sun hasn't quite gone down yet, so there's still a few rays of sunshine."

"Are you on the walk, too?" Morgana asks in a murmur.

"Yes, I'm there. And you can feel the sun warming up your skin, your back and your fingertips. You look out to sea and tell me that we should go snorkelling tomorrow, to sea the fish and the coral, maybe even a turtle. I agree and decide that we should probably go back to the hotel now, before it gets too dark. So, we finish our walk on the beach and head back, ready for a day in the sea tomorrow," he brings the short story to an end, nearly asleep. "Night, then," Merlin whispers finally, but there is no reply.

xxx

"Now, one of the first things we need to do is make something a bit like a diary, where we write down what happened in chronological order. We can try and include times as well," Morgause says without much hesitation. Based on the fact that she worked for the police, she was used to this kind of situation, however Morgana was not and was finding the process of going through what happened over and over again a very lengthy, boring one.

What she really wanted was to spend some time with Mordred, but he upstairs doing homework. She and Morgause had gone up to the school to take him home about 20 minutes ago while they were half-way through talking about the order of events. Now they were back home and trying to pick up where they left off, but it wasn't proving to be an easy task and Morgana got the feeling that Morgause was pissed off about this.

"Right, cool," Morgana tries to sound interested for Morgause's sake, but finds her attention wandering to Hunith and what she might be doing right now.

"We could also do one and you can write down all the days he abused you, maybe try and include some photos of marks or bruises if you have any?" Morgause continues, oblivious to Morgana's lack of engagement.

"Yep, that sounds good," Morgana says automatically. Hunith would probably be back in her house by now, she should probably call her on Skype tonight and tell her about Merlin getting that job in the factory.

"You have photos? Are they backed up on a computer or something?"

"Photos of what?" Morgana looks across the dining table at Morgause who was looking even more irritated now. "Sorry, I was... thinking." Technically it wasn't a lie.

"Photos of any bruises he's given you, evidence of the abuse," Morgause clarifies and Morgana shakes her head.

"I never thought to do that. I didn't think it was worth it because they weren't horrific injuries."

"What's the worst thing he's ever done to you?"

"One time he threw a plate at me once, but he was drunk and I'd burnt the food, so-"

"So that gives him the right to throw a plate at you?" Morgause cuts in, sounding distressed. "Anyway, did the plate hit you?"

"It hit the wall behind and smashed into loads of pieces. Some of them bounced off and pierced my skin, but none of the cuts were very deep, although they bled quite a lot. They were mostly over my shoulders and arms."

Morgause puts down her pen and looks like she wants to cry. "I just can't believe that I was right next door to you when all this was happening and I didn't know. God, it makes me feel so stupid."

"It's not your fault," Morgana says quickly, surprised at Morgause. A few days ago Morgause had shouted at her, not it seemed as though they were about to hug. Maybe she was like that with everyone.

"I've finished my homework, now can I show Morgana my book of good ideas?" Mordred skips into the kitchen with a drawing pad tucked under his arm. "I've got it here."

"Mordred, we're kind of busy at the moment. Maybe another time," Morgause says wearily.

"But I wanted-"

"Please, Mordred. Not now," Morgause warns him and he nods before taking a seat next to Morgana at the table, opening up the drawing pad to a clean page and taking a packet of crayons out of his trouser pocket. He starts drawing the outline of something, sticking his tongue out slightly in concentration.

"Do cats have ears?" He asks Morgana, putting down his pencil for a second.

"Yes, pointy ones."

"Just two, right?"

"Just two." Morgana watches as he draws two large triangles on top of a circle.

"I saw a cat with three ears yesterday. I was going to stroke it, but it tried to bite me. It went 'meeeaaaooaaww' at me, so I ran away," Mordred says matter-of-factly.

"Really? What did it look like?"

"It had three ears."

Morgana laughs at his reply. "I know that, but what colour was it? Black, grey, green?"

"You can't get green cats!" Mordred says incredulously. "It was white, but it looked a bit dirty. And it was fat. I think it was lost."

_Aithusa_ , Morgana thinks immediately. "Where was it?"

"In a hedge at school. No-one else saw it. I think it was trying to hide."

"I'll keep an eye out for it," Morgana assures him and he goes back to the drawing.

"Mordred, do you have to do that here?" Morgause asks in annoyance. They couldn't talk if he was in earshot. "Morgana and I have to talk about something important."

"I'm just drawing," he says calmly, not looking up.

"Yes, but we need to talk about things. _Grown-up_ things."

"You're talking about someone hurting Morgana, aren't you?" Mordred asks casually.

Morgause sighs and buries her face in her hands. "You were listening on the stairs again, weren't you?"

"Sorry, Mummy," Mordred says, not looking very apologetic at all. He turns to Morgana. "I'm going to colour the cat in green, because then it will be the first ever green cat ever in the world ever!"

"That's really good, Mordred, but could you _please_ finish it somewhere else?" Morgause begs him and nods with a sad expression.

"Fine," he slides off of his chair and drags his drawing pad off the table, disappearing into the living room.

Morgana watches him go, feeling guilty, like she was at fault for the argument. "I should probably go now anyway. Thanks for all your help; we've gotten loads done today and I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. Thanks for giving up your spare time, I really appreciate it." She stands up and so does Morgause, who moves around the table in a swift movement to hug her.

"You'll have to come round another time, do we can do some more."

"Yeah, okay," Morgana pulls back awkwardly from the unexpected embrace. She follows Morgause out to the door, stopping by Mordred on the way, who was sat on the sofa, engrossed in his drawing. "Bye, Mordred," she waves to him and he jumps up and runs to hug her, only able to reach up to her thighs.

"Bye, Morgana."

"You can show me your book of good ideas next time, okay?"

"Yes, and I'll finish the drawing of the green cat !" He promises. "And don't forget to ask Merlin if he's a wizard! And see if you can find the evil cat!"

"Come on, Mordred. Leave the poor woman alone," Morgause says with a forced laugh.

Mordred untangles himself from her legs and glances up at her once last time. "Don't let the bad people hurt you again, Morgana."

The words make her throat tighten and tears gather in her eyes. "I won't, Mordred. Don't worry."

**Woo, 29 chapters down! I really liked writing this one because I got to write two of my favourite characters in this fic which are Hunith and Mordred. Hopefully you enjoyed it, too :)**

**Thank you for reading and please review to tell me your thoughts!**

**Next chapter: I don't know yet.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Draghiforever: Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like Mordred.**

**Sakhr al-Jinni: You'll find out about the third ear soon.**

**MonsterJunkie: Thanks for your review and don't worry about not being able to do so more regularly.**

**Grayember13: Thanks :)**

**Renaissancebooklover108: I like Mordred, too.**

**IcarusLSU: Thanks, I'm glad you like reading it. If people don't then I can't see the point of writing it. I've answered more about your review in the A/N at the bottom.**

**MICKEY.G.B: Thanks, Mordred is going to be in this story quite a lot later on.**

**Gespav: I'm glad you think my writing is getting better and not worse! Thank you.**

**ScarletBanner: I personally think we should take drastic action against your teachers. But anyway. Hunith will be making some appearances later on, but in the meantime we have Mordred and Morgause, so I'm relieved that you like their characters because they're going to be sticking around for a bit. Your question is answered next chapter, but I'm still waiting for a chapter from you :)**

**FieryIce107: Ooh, new person! Hello! Thanks, I'm happy you like the idea!**

**XXX**

"I need to pee," Gwaine says urgently, fidgeting around in his seat. Merlin groans at the wheel, Morgana laughs next to him and Gwen looks like she wants to slap him. They had been travelling along the motorway for less than two hours and there had already been numerous toilet stops for Gwaine along the way.

"What have you been drinking?" Merlin asks, astonished at his friend's request.

"Coffee this morning and that's it," Gwaine recalls. "Maybe I've just got an over-active bladder."

"Well, you can tell your bladder to sit still and be quiet because we aren't stopping again," Morgana orders him bossily and Gwaine raises his eyebrows.

"Whatever, gay girl," he mutters quietly and Morgana yells at him to shut up.

"What's this about Morgana being gay?" Gwen asks, suddenly fearful of whatever the answer may be.

Merlin explains the story to her. "When me and Gwaine met Morgana, he thought she was or might be gay and now he keeps calling her 'gay girl' just to annoy her."

"I'm _not_ gay, just for the record!" Morgana exclaims, throwing her hands in the air.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that, eh Merlin? I reckon her and Gwen have got it secretly going on behind your back," Gwaine jokes and nudges Gwen with his elbow. Gwen scowls at him and nearly thumps him, but thinks better of it.

"Some people used to think that when I lived with Morgana for a bit because of her nightmares, things got a little heated between us when I comforted her in the middle of the night," Gwen says smugly, enjoying the silence that had now fallen around the car.

Morgana decides to play along with the story after getting over the initial shock and embarrassment. "Oh, those were some wild times, weren't they, Gwen? We spent many a dark night making the most of those hours when everyone else was tucked up in bed asleep."

"Does that answer your question, Gwaine?" Gwen asks, with a very amused smile on her face.

"Uh, definitely. I'm trying really hard not to imagine it right now," Gwaine says, deadly serious and turning away to look out of the window.

Morgana laughs again and swivels round in her seat to high-five Gwen. Merlin smiles, too. Morgana seemed a lot happier today. Every time he looked at her she had a subconscious smile on her face. He hopes she isn't just playing the 'New Morgana' card again, because for the first time in a long time, maybe even since the night they'd met, she looked genuinely happy. Hopefully it would continue.

"So what rides have they got?" Merlin asks, starting up conversation again.

"No tea-cup rides, sorry Merlin," Gwaine reaches forwards and gives him a friendly punch on the shoulder.

"What do you mean no tea-cup rides?"

"Never been much of a roller-coaster guy, have you? Remember that time we went on that loop-de-loop one on that school trip? Oh, it was so funny, he was sick _everywhere_-"

"It was in a plastic bag," Merlin corrects him.

"Yeah, like ten times-"

"Twice, Gwaine," Merlin sighs. Exaggeration was Gwaine's favourite part of storytelling.

"But it seemed like ten times 'cos remember you had that chicken curry for lunch in that café and then-"

"Gwaine!" Merlin interrupts. "Nobody wants to know!"

"Oh, I get it, you want me to stop embarrassing you about it in front of your girlfriend. I'm sure Morgana doesn't mind – well probably no more blow jobs for a few weeks, but-"

"GWAINE!" Merlin and Morgana both shout in unison.

"Fine, whatever," he waves his hand, pushing the topic away. He turns to Gwen with a charming smile. "So, Gwen. Are you with anyone at the moment?"

Morgana snorts with laughter in front of them and Merlin shakes his head in disdain.

"I, uh," Gwen stammers, unable to keep up with the sudden change in conversation.

"Because if kisses were raindrops, I'd send you a thunderstorm."

Gwen's mouth drops open at the words and Gwaine quickly thinks of another line.

"You must be Jamaican, because you're Jamaican me crazy!" He says, more enthusiastically this time. Gwen just blinks.

"Hi, my name is Doug. That's 'God' backwards, with a little bit of 'U' wrapped up in it." Merlin groans and rests his head on the wheel for a moment while Morgana just laughs and claps Gwaine's courage. Gwaine ignores them and carries on.

"Your Dad must be a baker because you've got great buns."

It is the last straw for Gwen. She slaps him hard across the shoulder and folds her arms across her chest.

"I wouldn't take it personally, Gwaine. She's just already got a boyfriend," Morgana tells him, maybe a bit too late.

"Thanks for the info," Gwaine says flatly, offended by Gwen's refusal.

"Yeah, his name's Arthur. He's in the _army,_" Morgana says, taking great joy in saying this. "I'm sure he wouldn't take too kindly to other men trying to flirt with dear Guinevere."

"He does have quite bad anger issues," Merlin continues. "Morgana told me that once he punched this guy's front teeth out, just because they _looked_ at Gwen."

"It's not like we're going to tell him though, are we?" Gwen, Merlin and Morgana stay quiet. "Are we?"

XXX

"Will you come on SAW: The Ride with us? Because Gwaine and Gwen are going on, so..." Morgana trails off looking at Merlin expectantly.

"What's it like?"

Morgana stands up from the bench they were sitting on to eat their lunch and whips out a leaflet from her back pocket. "SAW: The Ride, is the world's first ever horror movie themed roller-coaster. With a fall of over 100 feet and a beyond vertical drop of 100°, SAW is sure to leave you white knuckled and wide eyed with fear."

"How about no?"

Her face falls and she lets the leaflet drop to her side. "Please, Merlin? It will be fun!"

"Yeah, Merlin stop being such a wussy pants," Gwaine counters, appearing next to Morgana with Gwen, both busy eating some kind of sour confectionery going by the look on Gwen's face.

"Exactly! Be a man, Merlin!" Gwen says with her cheeks sucked in.

"What is this? Peer pressure killed the dog?" Merlin tries to resist but Morgana hooks an arm around his and pulls him towards the queue.

"You aren't going to regret this, Merlin. I _promise_," Morgana says happily, taking a look up at the gigantic roller-coaster structure that filled the sky.

XXX

"I am never trusting you ever again," Merlin manages to get out, hobbling away from the ride because his legs were feeling like cold mashed potato.

"What are you talking about? It was incredible!" Morgana half-shouts, not able to walk in a straight line either.

"That was bloody fantastic! I'd go on again but I don't think my stomach could handle it!" Gwaine says, teeth chattering. He stops a passer-by. "Madam you have to go on that ride! It's _marvellous_!" The poor woman just nods and walks away.

"That was... interesting," Gwen says, swaying along behind them and nearly bumping into a member of staff. "But I don't think I'd do it again."

"Which one next?" Gwaine asks eagerly.

Morgana brings out the leaflet again, opening it up with shaking hands. "How about... Stealth. You go from 0 to 80 mph in 2 seconds and there's a drop of 205 feet."

"Lets do it!" Gwaine yells and Merlin feels his stomach flip in terror.

**It's virtual cake time for chapter 30! *Hands you a slice* Thank you all for staying with me throughout this story so far, it means a lot that 67 people are following and 30 people have favourited and I hope you'll all be there for the end.**

**Anyway, Gwaine was great fun to write in this chapter, especially when he was flirting with Gwen and getting on everyone's nerves – basically just being himself. Were the pick-up lines cheesy enough for you? :D**

**Also, I had a couple of reviews last chapter that had some questions that needed answering: Why is Morgana protecting Alvarr, why is she so timid, etc. I'm going to answer these in the next chapter and I hope it's a good enough explanation for you.**

**Thanks for reading and please leave me a review to tell me your thoughts!**

**Next Chapter: I hopefully answer all of your questions with a chat between Merlin and Gwen, and Mordred and Morgana go in search of a certain cat.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Sakhr al-Jinni: Thanks for reviewing!**

**ScarletBanner: We have celebrated a bit excessively on the PM thing and eaten virtual cake. All of my life goals are completed for now.**

**FieryIce107: Thanks, Gwaine is great fun.**

**Sjritts: Thanks, I hope the questions are answered here.**

**Renaissancebooklover108: Thanks, I'm glad you like Gwaine so much.**

**Grayember13: Thank you!**

**Gespav: Thanks for your review, hope you like this chapter!**

**XXX**

"Which way did you say the bush was?" Morgana struggles to keep up with Mordred who was sprinting across the school playground which gained them a few odd looks.

"This way!" Mordred shouts, which wasn't very helpful. He continues his mad dash to the hedge at the edge of the playground and then stops abruptly next to a dark, green bush. He stops so suddenly that Morgana doesn't realise quickly enough and slams into the small boy, knocking them both to the grass in fits of giggles. "Watch where you're going, silly!"

Mordred jumps to his feet and brushes off a few blades of grass that had gathered on his trousers. Morgana does the same, although the process is a lot slower. She really needed to take up some kind of sport.

"Wait for me," Morgana says, but Mordred is already digging around in the bushes. "Careful for any thorns."

"We don't have any prickly bushes any more. A girl from my class got pushed in one and got a gigantic, massive, enormous thorn in her arm. She had to go to hospital and everything because she was screaming her face off," Mordred says calmly and then pulls back from the bush empty handed.

Morgana frowns. "She was pushed?"

"Yeah. They thought she might have a fection."

"Infection," Morgana corrects him kindly and he nods.

"Right. _In_fection."

"So I thought you said the three-eared, evil cat was here? Or was it somewhere else?" Morgana asks, looking around the playground at the mass of children and parents gradually leaving the school.

"It might have been on the field actually," Mordred says, putting on his best thinking face. "We should check there." Then he runs off again without warning, up onto the playing fields that were around the back of the school. "Up this end!" He points right to the end corner of the field with a grin.

"Are you sure?" Morgana asks, not really keen on running all that way.

"I'm sure of it!" Mordred declares excitedly and then runs off in in that direction with Morgana lagging behind. "Come on, tortoise!"

"Tortoise!?" Morgana screams across the field. "What are you talking about?"

"A fat snail is faster than you!" Mordred laughs gleefully.

"I won the 400 metres at sports day!" Morgana shouts to him, trying to run faster.

"There was obviously no one else racing then!" He has reached the far end of the field and stopped to let Morgana catch up. She arrives a good 10 seconds later.

She says the first excuse she can think of, despite how pathetic it is. "You only won because you're smaller than me."

"Come on, help me look for evil cat," Mordred says, and points to a bit of hedge for Morgana to look in. "So, is it your cat?"

"No, it's Merlin's cat," Morgana says, wincing as a sharp twig scratches at her bare arm.

"Is it a magic cat?"

"I don't know. Perhaps we should ask it when we find it."

"I don't think it's in this one," Mordred says, although looking pleased.

"Oh, really? Where else could it be?"

"I told a lie," Mordred says, unable to keep it a secret any longer.

"What? When?"

"When we were over on the playground. The cat _was_ in the bush. I tricked you."

Unable to understand this, Morgana just frowns. "So the cat was actually in the bush on the playground?"

"Yes."

"But then why did we come all the way over..." The idea finally dawns on her. "Mordred! You little-" She grabs hold of his arms as he tries to run away, squealing with laughter.

"You look like you could do with the exercise," Mordred splutters as Morgana tickles under his arms and around his ribs. "S-st...opp, iiiit!"

"Not until you say sorry!"

"Soreeee!" Mordred screeches loudly, wriggling out of her grasp.

Morgana stops her assault. "Good. Now lets go and find the evil cat."

XXX

"Oh, Merlin. Come in," Gwen says, opening the door of her flat and not expecting Merlin to be on the other side of it.

"Sorry for the _really_ short notice but I needed to talk to you." He follows Gwen into her home, careful not to knock or break anything.

"It's fine. I've got an hour before I start my night shift at 6:30," Gwen says, sitting down and picking up a piece of card to fan herself with. "God, it''s hot isn't it?"

Merlin holds out his pale arms and sits down too. "I've been trying not to burn."

Gwen laughs. "I bet. Morgana's fair skinned too, you guys need to be careful. Put on some Factor 50 or something." Morgana had been right about Gwen's motherly side. "Did she not want to come?"

"She's out getting Mordred from school. She's looking after him for tonight because Morgause is stuck at work."

Gwen looks at him blankly. "Who?"

"Morgause is a... friend of Morgana's," Merlin says, unsure of whether they actually were or not. "Mordred is her son."

"Oh, right," Gwen says, a little upset. Morgana hadn't spoken of either of them.

"I wanted to be sure that Morgana wasn't around when I came to you, because she'd probably kill me if she knew I was still worrying about her," Merlin begins, waiting for Gwen's nod to continue. "I'm worried about her because she's not been herself lately."

"How do you mean?"

Merlin sighs. "Like... not confident. Almost timid in her actions. One day she's happy and the next she's all depressed."

"She seemed perfectly fine a couple of days ago when we were at Thorpe Park."

"I know, that's what I mean. I don't know what to do about it," Merlin says, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Gwen sits forward slightly, waiting for him to open his eyes again. "You really do care about, don't you?"

"Of course. I love her."

"I'm glad. You're good for her. I can't imagine what the past few months would have been like for her if you hadn't been there every step of the way to support her. I'm grateful that you're here, Merlin."

Merlin grins and shifts awkwardly. "You're, uh, welcome. But what do you think I should do about it? Why do you think she's like it?"

Gwen pauses for a moment, thinking hard. "I think that she's still in the mindset that Alvarr can hurt her. Perhaps, when there aren't as many people around her that could possibly protect her, she doesn't feel safe. Maybe that's the trigger. After everything that's happened, you can imagine she's feeling vulnerable. I remember when her father passed away, she went into this phase where she just tuned out of things. She was a nightmare at school, always forgetting homework and books, I ended up doing most of her homework for her because she just didn't remember. She almost looked a bit lost at times."

"Would she forget conversations, too?" Merlin asks, an idea half-forming in his head.

"A lot, actually. Everything went in one ear and out the other."

"Oh, that's good." Gwen sends him a look. "I mean, it explains some things that happened recently."

Gwen stands, smiling. "I'm happy to help. Now, if you don't have any other questions, then-"

Merlin jumps up. "Actually, I do. Just one more. Do you know why Morgana would defend Alvarr?"

"Because she's scared of him. She won't admit it, she never did, but she is. She's always made excuses for him. Sometimes I think it's become a way of life for her. Try and snap her out of it," Gwen advises.

"How?"

"Maker her forget. Make her happy."

"How do I do that?"

"Do something... romantic, " Gwen shrugs, laughing a little.

"I'm not exactly the king of romance, in case you hadn't noticed."

"I'm sure you've got a bit of Mr Darcy in you somewhere. A nice gesture, then. Something to cheer her up."

"Like what?" Merlin asks hopelessly.

"She's your girlfriend, Merlin, not mine! Just do something simple. Like cook."

"Right. Cook. Okay. Thanks, Gwen." He hugs her without really thinking and pulls back immediately. "Sorry."

"I think I should probably be the one to apologise, since the first time we met I threatened to castrate you," Gwen laughs, bringing him into an embrace that nearly squeezed the life out of him. "Bye, Merlin."

"Bye, Gwen." He walks to the door of her flat, ready to leave.

"Something simple, remember?" Gwen calls to him. "Oh, wait! Don't leave yet! I have to give you something!" She rushes out and hands him a brown envelope with a stamp on it. "It's a letter for Morgana. From Arthur. He sent it here because he didn't know your address."

"Wonderful. Thanks, she'll love it," Merlin says flatly, still feeling guilty about keeping the fake letter they'd received a few weeks earlier a secret from her. "Morgana letter, nice gesture, something simple." Merlin nods. "Got it."

XXX

Morgana comes through the door at 9:40pm with a ball of fluff in her arms and a happy smile on her face.

"Look who I found!" She races towards an apron-covered Merlin and shoves Aithusa into his chest. "Well, it was more of a joint effort between me and Mordred."

Merlin smiles, happy to see the troublesome cat again. "Where was she?"

"In a bush at Mordred's school. You should have seen her, she had this little tuft of fur that was sticking up on the top of her head that looked like an extra ear. It was adorable," Morgana laughs, stroking under Aithusa's chin, making her purr loudly.

"She's absolutely filthy," Merlin comments. It was true, she was more of a dirty grey colour than white.

"Yeah, Morgause wasn't too happy about that either but I think she put up with it for my sake." Aithusa jumps down from Merlin's arms and slinks off into the living room.

"How did that go today? Did you manage to cook him tea without burning the kitchen down?"

Morgana punches him in the arm and walks into the kitchen. "I burnt the chicken nuggets and forgot to put the chips in the oven entirely. I sliced my finger on the tin opener and ended up just making him a ham sandwich."

"Wow."

"Other than that I think everything was great. How was your day?"

"Hot and sweaty. I have a surprise for you," Merlin says, going wildly off topic.

"Is it a scary one?"

"No, it's a yummy one. Hopefully."

"How yummy?"

"Sausage, beans, egg and chips yummy?"

"Perfect. I could do with clogging my arteries up a bit more."

"Me too. But before that, I need to show you my other surprise," Merlin says, making his voice all mysterious. He takes her hand and guides her upstairs.

"You've been busy."

"I suppose so. Okay, now in here," he walks her into their bedroom. The curtains are drawn and he flicks the light on. "Close you eyes and lie down on the bed."

"If you come up to me and make me jump it'll be the worst surprise ever. I'm just letting you know." Morgana stumbles around, eventually finding the bed and lying down on it uncertainly. "Now what?"

"Wait a minute." A minute passes and Merlin switches the light off again. "Okay, open."

"Oh."

The ceiling and walls are covered in glow in the dark stars. There are at least a hundred of them, dotted all around the room, some on the bed posts and on the wardrobe, luminous in the darkness.

"Do you like it? Or is it really childish?" Merlin asks from the doorway, turning the light on again and making the stars disappear.

Morgana sits up. "I love them. Thank you."

Merlin walks over and sits next to her. "I like them, too. Took ages to put them up, though. My thumbs ache from pressing them into the ceiling with blu-tac."

"You poor thing," Morgana laughs and holds his hand up to her lips, kissing it gently. "Better?"

"Much. Now, come on. Lets go back downstairs, before tea goes cold."

**This was great fun to write, especially the Aithusa part at the beginning. I hope all of your questions were answered, but if they weren't or you have other ones, then tell me.**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter and those who are reading in England are having fun in the heatwave!**

**Thanks for reading and please review to tell me your thoughts! **


	32. Chapter 32

**Sakhr al-Jinni: Thank you!**

**FiercyIce107: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the surprise!**

**Draghiforever: Arthur is in this chapter. Kind of. I hope this chapter is okay!**

**Renaissancebooklover108: Thanks :)**

**Sjrittis: Thank you! Morgana's recovery is going to take a while.**

**Dawn Ruthless: Thank you for your comments! Here is the update, I hope it's soon enough.**

**Grayember13: Here is more.**

**ScarletBanner: Hehe, I feel really bad about this part because I did no research for Morgana at all, the whole thing was a massive guess and now I feel quite guilty about it. Thanks for the advice about reminders and stuff and always reviewing my little story! :)**

**Gespav: Romantic Merlin is great fun to write! There's more of that next chapter, and your question is answered in this chapter.**

**Note: The parts in italics are the letter to make it easier to read.**

"_To my dearest troll-faced half-sister, AKA Morgana."_

Even the first line of the letter has the ability to make her laugh. Merlin turns on his side and sends her a quizzical glance. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just a personal joke between us. I'll carry on reading, hang on." Morgana quickly finds her place again and continues reading the rest of Arthur's letter out loud. "_Everything is okay here – I haven't been shot yet, much to your probable disappointment. Had some action a few days ago, not what you're thinking - you always were filthy minded, but I'll bore you with the details when I get back, which should be by Christmas, but I'm not promising anything. It was great to catch up with the knights again-"_

"Knights?" Merlin interrupts, looking confused.

"His friends," Morgana explains. "It's a joke they have."

"Oh, I see. Carry on."

"_It was good to catch up with the knights again, especially Leon – remember the beard guy? The beard of immortality? Well, he doesn't have the beard any more. His girlfriend, Vivian, made him shave it off. He's very upset."_

"You ever met him?"

"Who?"

"Immortal beard guy," Merlin says, putting on a mystical voice and wiggling his fingers around in the air. "Have you met him?"

"Once, I think. We were in this nightclub celebrating Arthur getting back. I may have gotten more than a little bit drunk and accidentally snogged him," Morgana says, laughing at the memory. "He looked so scared, bless him."

"Poor bloke. What kind of drunk are you? Gwaine says I'm even more clumsy than usual and it's like I'm not even in control of my own body," Merlin grins.

"Gwen says I get all giggly and I'm everyone's best friend. Or sometimes more."

Merlin groans and pulls the duvet up to his cheeks. "I'm guessing that lead to some unsavoury moments."

"You have no idea. Most of them were up for it though, unsurprisingly."

"What was it like?" Merlin asks, curious.

"What was what like?"

He blushes. "The... you know."

"Ordinary. It wasn't particularly good or bad. For me it was just experience."

"Oh, right," Merlin says, nervous now. What was ordinary in her standards? Was _he_ ordinary? Bad, even?

"Uther used to get so pissed off with me. Saying I was some massive slut," Morgana says in a harsher tone that before. "But, anyway. Enough about me, what about you? How many women have you slept with?"

Merlin shifts uncomfortably, finding the answer embarrassing. "Do you want me to lie or not?"

Morgana sits up with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "Why? Is it lots?"

"No, it's just-" Merlin tries to answer but Morgana cuts him off, laughing.

"What are you, Merlin? Some kind of man whore? I didn't think you were that type of man..."

"No! I'm not!" Merlin exclaims, unhappy with this sudden turn of events. "Definitely not! I'm quite the opposite, actually."

Morgana lies back down again, still smiling at his misfortune. "What does that mean? Just say a number! It's easy!"

"One!" Merlin says loudly. "There, I said a number!"

"One?" Morgana asks, bewildered and waiting for the penny to drop. "How does that work? Oh. Ohhhh. Merlin that's-"

"Can we go back to talking about you again now please?"

"No, that's so sweet! Aw, you're all cute and innocent!" She pinches his cheeks like he's a child and he turns away blushing and with his back to her.

"Stop it! It's embarrassing!"

"Why is it embarrassing? I think it's lovely," she says to the back of his head.

"Really?" He asks, his voice hopeful.

"Really," Morgana reassures him kindly. "It's nice. Will you turn around and face me now?"

He does so reluctantly. "Aren't you going to finish reading the letter?"

Morgana folds the paper into four and slides it under her pillow. "It's not going anywhere. And I'd rather talk to you. Seeing as you're my boyfriend."

"What are we supposed to talk about?"

"I don't know. How we feel," Morgana suggests.

"How _do_ you feel?" Merlin asks, glad to move away from the previous topic.

"Like we should spend more time together as a couple," Morgana says, looking up at the glow in the dark stars that weren't glowing at present because the light was turned on. "We should go on a date. I don't think we've been on one yet. A proper one – just us. It doesn't have to be amazing or expensive. Just something simple to get to know each other better. Like go to the beach or have another night in, like tonight."

"The beach sounds like fun. And there's the bonus of you in swimwear," Merlin says suggestively and Morgana laughs.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up. I'm all pale and flabby."

"Well then I like pale and flabby," Merlin says, trying to make her feel better.

"Thanks, Merlin. You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself."

"You're welcome. When should we go then? I'm free in the evenings now because I finish work at five o'clock."

"I'm looking after Mordred every night except Wednesday, so we could go next week if you like," Morgana offers and Merlin holds up a hand to high-five her.

"It's a date."

**My sincere apologies for this being very, very short but I'm going on holiday in a week and the next chapter will be their date at the beach. I wanted to do that one separately and as the chapter before I go on holiday because I don't really want to stress too much over it.**

**Anywho! Arthur came back, kind of, in this chapter and we got some conversation between Merlin and Morgana so I hope this passed as bearable.**

**Thanks everyone for reading and please review to tell me your thoughts! :)**

**Next chapter: We fast-forward a week to Merlin and Morgana's evening at the beach.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Renaissancebooklover108: Hehe, thanks I'm glad you liked the letter and there's more adorable Merlin in this chapter.**

**Sakhr al-Jinni: This chapter is longer than the last, but I hope the quality is still there. And I will definitely have fun on my holiday, thank you!**

**MICKEY.G.B: Haha, I'm glad you liked that bit! Here is the beach chapter you've been waiting for.**

**Grayemeber13: I hope you like this chapter! Thanks for your reviews!**

**Dawn Ruthless: I love reading your reviews because they always bring a smile to my face. I'm happy you like the Merlin/Morgana relationship, there's more of the fluff this chapter.**

**Sjritts: Arthur's letter was great fun to write. Hope you like this chapter!**

**IcarusLSU: Thank you for your review!**

**Gespav: Thanks for reassuring me on the length. There is quite a bit of romance in this chapter, especially at the end. I hope their first date lives up to your expectations!**

**Thanks for your reviews, lovely readers!**

"Are we nearly there yet?" Morgana whines childishly, winding her window up and down for a source of entertainment.

"I can't make the beach any closer," Merlin says, not really answering her question.

Morgana stops playing with the window and turns to face him with a charming smile. "But you can make the car go faster."

He rolls his eyes at her suggestion. "Are you saying I should break the speed limit just because you're impatient?"

"Of course not. I'm just saying that you could use old Humperdink here to his full potential."

"I prefer slow and steady and so does Englebert," Merlin states, putting on a posh, snooty voice.

"Yeah, but that's because you're boring," Morgana says bluntly, going back to the window.

"I'm not boring, I'm sensible. Which is hardly a bad thing when I'm around you," Merlin explains, resulting in Morgana hitting his knee-cap with her fist. "Remind me how you got fired from your last job again?"

"Oh, shut up. You're just jealous that you didn't get one of the copies of my backside."

"I don't need a blurry photocopy when I can see it in 3D and high-definition whenever I want to." Merlin smirks at her shocked reaction.

"I take back what I said about you being cute and innocent," Morgana says in annoyance, propping her feet up on the dashboard and admiring her flip-flops. "All of the sexual frustration has gone to your head."

"Not for much longer," Merlin says cryptically, trying not to laugh at Morgana's puzzled expression.

"What's that supposed to mean? How many days do we have left? What have you been planning? Merlin!"

"Ow! Stop hitting me!" He rubs his reddened knee after Morgana hits it for the second time.

"Answer my questions, then!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. We're here now!" Merlin exclaims happily, thankful for the change in conversation.

"I'll get it out of you later." Morgana jumps out of the car and stretches her legs out. "What should we do first?"

"Walk?" Merlin extends an arm for Morgana to take and they step on to the pebbly beach. "There's a chip shop near the end of the beach if you want to get some."

"Share or get a bag each?"

"I am _not_ sharing chips with you again. Not after last time when you put about a litre of vinegar on them and didn't tell me," Merlin says, pulling a face.

"It enhances the experience!" Morgana insists.

"My cheeks felt like they were being sucked in by a black hole!"

"Oh, stop complaining. You're such a big girl, Merlin," Morgana insults him, which she seemed to be doing a lot of lately. She couldn't be nice to him all of the time, that would just be weird.

Merlin steers her backwards towards the sea. "We'll see who the 'big girl' is."

Her heels come into contact with the cool water and Morgana sends him a wary look.

"Don't you da-"

He pushes her back into the waist-deep salty water and Morgana screams at him. She lands on her bottom and stays there for a few seconds, defeated, before turning to Merlin, who was laughing like

a madman, with a murderous look in her eyes.

She stands and walks from the water like it's nothing. They both know it isn't.

" Do you know how much I love you, Merlin?" She goes up and hugs him tightly before he can get away, transferring some of the cold water onto him, too. "_This much_."

"You are very kind, Morgana. Thank you," Merlin says sarcastically, through gritted teeth.

"But I think I could be kinder, don't you? We should treat each other the same way. So why don't you just step in to the water so I can take a photo of how much _fun_ you're having on our date," Morgana smirks.

"You don't have a camera," Merlin points out.

Morgana glares at him. "It's a pretend one. I get the feeling that I'm going to remember this image for a long time, camera or not."

Merlin sighs, giving in. Morgana was extremely stubborn when she wanted to be, so he could either do this himself or she'd push him in anyway. "Can I take my t-shirt off first?"

"Nope."

"Not even my trainers?" He tries, not feeling very hopeful at all.

"Definitely not. I didn't get the chance to take any of my clothes off, so neither do you," Morgana tells him, looking very pleased with herself.

"What do I have to do?"

"Go and stand in the water – just the shallow bit," Morgana instructs him. "Okay, now turn so that you're facing me. Start walking backwards - s_lowly_. Perfect."

"I'm so glad that practically everyone else has gone home."

"Why?" Morgana teases him. "Do you find it embarrassing to be seen under the control of a woman?"

"Not at all. It's quite nice, actually. Perhaps we could use it in the bedroom..."

"Merlin!" She runs forwards and smacks into him on purpose, sending them both splashing down into the sea, with Morgana accidentally gulping back some of the horribly salty water.

She surfaces first, coughing and spluttering and looking for Merlin. She feels around under the waves for him, but there is nothing apart from strands of slimy seaweed and some shells. She starts to worry after a few minutes pass, but when a cold, slippery hand wraps around her ankle and topples her over again, she forgets about it.

Eventually, they both re-emerge from the water, soaked to the core and shivering slightly.

"You made me swallow some of the sea water!" Morgana yells at him, but Merlin just laughs.

"I didn't _make_ you do anything! You attacked me!"

"And you got my clothes all wet," she continues, trying to wring out her shirt.

"Now you've got a reason to take them off and just wear that swimwear you put on underneath."

"If you want." Morgana pulls off her t-shirt and shorts and hands them to Merlin, revealing a sheer red bikini and a lot of curves and creamy skin. Merlin stands there like a goldfish until Morgana snaps her fingers in front of his face.

"Sorry," Merlin says, still dumbstruck.

"I can put them back one if you want...?" Morgana leaves the question open, knowing full well what the answer will be.

"No! Don't do that!" Merlin says, a little too quickly.

"I wasn't going to, anyway," Morgana reassures him smugly. "Now what?"

"Food?" Merlin suggests and Morgana nods eagerly.

"Race you there!"

XXX

Merlin wins. Morgana says it's because she's wearing flip-flops and he's wearing trainers. Merlin says it's because she's unfit and Hunith could run faster than her while wearing her nightie and slippers.

They end up sharing the chips, too. They separate the bag in two with the little wooden forks so that Morgana can have all the vinegar she wants without it 'spreading like the bubonic plague' over to Merlin's side.

"I just don't understand how you can eat that," Merlin says in admiration and disgust, staring at the vinegar river that was running over Morgana's chips. "It's foul."

"It's nice! Try one!" Morgana flings a soggy chip at him and it splats against his cheek.

Merlin shrieks and sprints down towards the water's edge. "I've been contaminated!" He shouts, washing his face off with sea water.

"People are looking at you like you need to be in a straitjacket," Morgana calls down to him, which wasn't really true. There was only the man who sold them the chips and a few younger men who were diving and doing flips off of the rocks.

Merlin comes back without her noticing, because she is too engrossed in watching the men doing 'ocean gymnastics', as she was now going to call it.

He sits down next to her on the pebbles and nudges Morgana with his bony elbow. "Checking out the eye candy, are we?"

"Don't be stupid. It's just interesting to watch."

"Interesting to watch tanned guys with six-packs. Yeah, I bet."

"Well, I prefer men without them. It makes me feel thinner," Morgana says without hesitation. "And besides, a six-pack can't necessarily get your through a miscarriage, can it?"

"No," Merlin says, starting to see reason in what she says.

"But you can." Her voice is soft when she speaks and he knows that she means it, that she has an absolute trust in him.

He lies back on the small stones, which isn't very comfortable but he's willing to put up with it so that Morgana can rest her head on his stomach. "You think about that a lot, don't you?"

She pauses. "Yes."

"Does it still upset you?"

"A bit. I try not to think about it, about what might have happened. I don't like thinking about regrets and consequences."

"Don't think about the past or the future, then. Just the present. Like, are you enjoying our date so far?"

Morgana smiles into his t-shirt. "I am enjoying it very much. Apart from the fact that my hair is bushy from the sea water, my clothes are wet and I'm getting sleepy."

"Can you stay awake for about 20 minutes longer?"

Morgana sits up slowly and nods. "Mm. Reluctantly."

"Come on, then." He pulls her up and walks her in the complete opposite direction of the car park.

"Car park's that way, Merlin." She points behind him. "I may be tired, but I'm not stupid."

"I never said anything of the sort. And I know exactly where I'm going, don't worry."

"I'm not worrying."

"Good, I don't want you to worry. We're here now." He stops outside a small, red beach hut and reaches down under the door mat, bringing up a key. He sees Morgana's confused face and explains. "I booked it for the night."

"Why?"

He chuckles quietly, pulling her close and kissing her gently. "Guess what today is?"

"Wednesday?"

"No," he laughs. "Today means that we've managed the last three months and now we can-"

"Did you bring-"

"Yes. I felt really embarrassed when I was buying them. I kept looking over my shoulder expecting to see my mother, even though she's back in Australia. The woman who served me must have thought I was a right weirdo."

Morgana shakes her head at him, grinning. "You're so awkward, Merlin."

"I can't help it. I'm not very good at the whole sex thing."

"You'll get better. Just give it a bit more oomph."

Merlin sighs. "Define 'oomph'."

"You know, give it a bit of," she pushes her hips against his, smirking. "Now are we going to go inside or are we going to stay out here all night?" With both of them giggling and now feeling very awake, he pulls the door open and ushers them both inside.

**Aw, this was a cute little chapter to write, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. **

**As much as I would have loved to write a passionate love scene for this chapter, I can't write them to save my life. Even if I did try and write one I'd be scared to put it out here in fear of a bad reaction.**

**Don't have too much too say about this chapter – only that it was just another fluffy one before some more plot development. I hope I wrote the date well and it was good enough for a first one.  
**

**I go on holiday on Friday to Tenerife for a week and hopefully I won't get too sunburnt. Also it's now the summer holidays for me, so that means six weeks off and hopefully more frequent updates, which you may be happy to know.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading and please review to tell me your thoughts! I'll see you when I get back! :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**ScarletBanner: Haha, the dreadful sex ban has now vanished! More for Mordred's plot development this chapter and a bit on Gwaine which I hope you like. I hope you had fun in 'Broadchurch' on Friday!**

**Renaissancebooklover108: Hehe, thanks, there is some more cuteness in this chapter too.**

**Sakhr al-Jinni: Thanks! Fluff is fun to write and sometimes I get a bit distracted by writing that and not proper plot line :)**

**Gespav: Yay, the date was good enough! I wasn't really sure how to write it as it was their first one even though they'd already been together for about 4 months. Thanks for the encouragement about writing love scenes, I might have a crack at writing one in the future.**

**Dawn Ruthless: Hehe, I'm glad you liked the date. There is more teasing at the start of this chapter and here is the update you've been waiting for :)**

**Grayember13: Here is more! I hope you like it.**

**Sjritts: My 200****th**** reviewer! *Hands you some cake* I'm glad you like the dynamic in their relationship.**

**XXX**

**Note: Text messages are in italics to make it easier to read.**

"Did I put enough 'oomph' into it?"

Merlin strokes a finger down her spine and Morgana smiles into his shoulder. It's still dark outside and there isn't a lamp inside their beach hut to keep it alight. It is small, cramped and stuffy, but neither of them seem to notice, or care for that matter.

"Yes. It was lovely."

"Lovely?" Merlin frowns. "It's not really the word I was looking for, but thanks anyway."

"What kinds of words did you want?"

"Mind-blowing, incredible, better than a supermodel," Merlin lists, waving his hands around for exaggeration.

"I dated a model once," Morgana says matter-of-factly, as if this kind of thing happened every day.

"Yeah? What was he like?"

"Bloody awful. Almost as bad as you."

"Hey!" He shoves her away from him and puts on a pout. "You're so horrible to me."

Morgana tugs him back towards her. "I'm just teasing, you oaf. Don't get so upset."

"I'm not upset and I'm not an oaf, actually. More of a... more like a clotpole."

Morgana raises her eyebrows at him. "Care to enlighten me?"

Merlin shrugs, wanting to appear secretive. "Maybe one day, when I think you can handle it."

Morgana opens her mouth ready to argue, when Merlin's phone buzzes next to them on the small, bedside table. Merlin picks it up and unlocks it. "It's from Gwaine."

"What does it say?"

Merlin opens the text and reads it out loud. "-_Merlin help I think I might be gay and I'm really confused please can you help me please please please_-'"

Morgana laughs. "What the hell?"

"-_PS. Please don't tell anyone_-," Merlin finishes, sending them both into fits of giggles. "Oh dear."

"Text him back!" Morgana orders him as he goes to put the phone down again.

"How do I reply to _that_?" Merlin asks, completely befuddled.s

"Give it here." Morgana holds out her hand expectantly and Merlin reluctantly gives her the phone.

He peers over her shoulder to try to see what she is typing, but she blocks his view by turning away from him.

"What are you going to say?" He asks warily; Morgana and mobile phones were never a good combination, especially when it was his phone. Not too long ago she had changed his background picture to a very inappropriate photo of herself and changed his text alert to a fake farting noise, continuing to message him throughout the working day.

"All done," Morgana hits send and passes the phone back to him, grinning.

Merlin stares at the screen, horrified. "-_It's okay Gwaine, now I know how you feel about men, I'm not afraid any more. Morgana is only temporary, it's you that I want. Come round to mine later and we can talk... maybe more_-"

Morgana smiles innocently at him. "What do you think?"

"There should be an 'unsend' button."

"But there isn't," Morgana says helpfully. "I wonder if Gwaine will take you up on the offer."

Merlin groans. "Oh, God. Can you imagine if he does? He probably won't talk to me ever again after this. I am _so_ getting you back."

"Of course you are." Morgana throws the covers off and starts to get dressed, although having trouble finding some of her clothes. She turns to Merlin with a puzzled expression. "Have you seen my socks?"

"You were wearing flip-flops," Merlin reminds her and Morgana frowns.

"Flip-flops, right. Where are my pants?"

Merlin chuckles, shaking his head, when Morgana's phone vibrates next to his. The pair make eye-contact for a split second before Merlin swipes it away from her, making a dash for the door. He manages to run out onto the pebbly beach just before Morgana can pull him back in. She is about to step out and take the phone back, before realising that she has nothing on her bottom half.

"Give it back," Morgana hisses at him from the door, looking for something to cover herself with.

"Nah, I don't think so. Ooh, who's it from? Morgause? Let's read it..."

"Merlin! Give. It. Back." Morgana makes a grab for him, but he stands tantalizingly just out of reach.

"-_Hi Morgana, please could you do me a massive favour and collect Mordred from school again? I have to work until 9pm and I can't get a babysitter. Please reply ASAP. Thanks x_ – Aw! She put a kiss on the end!" Merlin squeals like a little girl. "That's so cute! Well, we'd better reply!"

"Don't even think about it," Morgana says, fixing him with a deathly stare.

"-_Hey Morgie_-"

" Morgie?" Morgana splutters but Merlin keeps typing.

" -_I would love to look after Mordred, but only once I've found my pants. Merlin whipped them off last night when we had crazy beach hut sex and I can't find them anywhere. See you later x_ -"

Morgana scoops up a large pebble and throws it at his crotch before he can hit send. Merlin doubles over and falls to the floor, curling up into a ball and letting out a high-pitched squeak. Still holding onto the phone, he weakly presses send button and throws the phone back at Morgana, who laughs at his pained reaction.

"I still sent it," Merlin chokes out, unable to move.

"I don't really care any more." Morgana walks out with a towel wrapped around her and helps Merlin shakily to his feet, guiding him back into their hut. "Lets just hope that Morgause doesn't either.

XXX

The school playground is busy, full of Mums, Dads and a few older brothers and sisters from the secondary school that wasn't too far away. There are swarms of children everywhere, all wearing the same uniform, making it hard to pick out a single face. Eventually, Mordred appears at the top of some steps, anxiously looking around for Morgause. He doesn't see Morgana at first, so she waves to him, trying to catch his attention. He finally sees her in among the crowds and his face cracks into a grin as he races down to meet her.

"Morgana!" He tackles her knees in a hug, nearly sending them both to the tarmac.

"Woah, there! Calm down!" Morgana peels him off of her legs to get a better look at him. He has a bruise under his chin and a graze on his knee. "What happened to you?"

"I fell over. It hurt a lot and they had to write it down in the accident book," Mordred says, switching his Fireman Sam lunch box into his right hand, so he can hold Morgana's hand with his left. They walk out to the school gates. "Where's Mum?"

"She's very busy at work, so that's why she asked me to pick you up."

Mordred sighs, looking disappointed. "Oh. When will she be back?"

"Later. You can see her then," Morgana says quietly, sensing his sadness. "But in the meantime you're coming round to my house for tea!"

His change in expression is adorable. "Really? Is Merlin going to be there, too?

Morgana nods. "Yeah, and evil cat. We need to give her a bath, so you can help if you like."

"Hey, weed!"

They both turn their attention to voice on the other side of the road. There is a boy, probably Mordred's age looking across at them. Mordred ignores him entirely.

Morgana stops him from walking on ahead. "Who's that, Mordred?"

"No one. He's in my class. I don't really know him," Mordred says quickly, trying to push past her.

"He seems to know you," Morgana points out, softly.

"Weed!" The boy continues, laughing. "How's your knee? Is it feeling better?"

"It's okay," Mordred calls back, his voice cracking.

"Why is he asking you that?" Morgana puts her hands on his shoulders and pulls him to the side, crouching down to his level.

"I don't know. Maybe he saw me fall over," Mordred says, not convincing anyone.

"Is he being mean to you?" Morgana shakes him slightly, trying to get through. "Does anyone know?"

"Bye Weed!" The small boy goes off in a different direction.

"Bye," Mordred whispers and then looks up at Morgana. "I want to go home now."

XXX

"Why won't she stay still?!" Mordred yells in frustration, aiming the shower nozzle at the back of Aithusa's head that kept bobbing around the avoid the warm water.

"Because she's annoying!" Morgana yells back, trying to rub soap into Aithusa's fur and failing because the cat kept shaking herself off like a dog. "If I hold her down, then you can spray the water on her, okay?"

"Okay!" Mordred says, getting himself into a better position.

"Ready?" Morgana grabs Aithusa and holds her as tightly as she can without hurting her. "Now!"

Mordred sprays the water over Aithusa's back and tail, washing the soap off. The cat meows loudly in protest, trying to worm her way out of Morgana's grip. Her chance comes when Morgana's hands slip and loosen around her.

Aithusa jumps out of the bath and clings onto Morgana's jumper. Mordred follows her movements with the shower head and ends up spraying the water in Morgana's face, soaking her hair through and giving Aithusa the perfect opportunity to escape downstairs.

"I'm really, really sorry," Mordred apologizes, handing Morgana a towel to wipe her face with.

"It was very refreshing, actually. Thank you, Mordred," she pats her cheeks dry and looks at the black patches on the towel. "Oh dear, my mascara's running."

Mordred laughs. "You look like a panda."

The front door opens noisily downstairs as Merlin comes in. "I'm back!"

Mordred looks at her with curiosity. "Is that Merlin? Your boyfriend?"

"It is indeed. Shall we go and see him?"

Mordred nods and walks to the stairs. "I still need to ask him if he's a magician."

**Woo, back from my holiday in Tenerife which was great fun but I won't bore you with the details unless you want me to :)**

**Managed to get this chapter done in about two days, which is something I am very proud of because it usually takes me a week to do this, haha. (feel free to send me a virtual high-five) **

**We hit 200 reviews a week ago! Woo-hoo! Thanks to all of you amazing people who take the time to review this story, it means a lot! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!**

**Oh! And do you like the new cover/photo thing I made?**

**Thanks for reading and please review to tell me your thoughts! :)**

**Next chapter: Merlin and Mordred meet for the first time.**


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